Quantum Mechanic

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Quantum Mechanic
Monster ID 223
Locations The Dungeons of Doom
Hit Points 81
Attack 61
Defense 51
No-Hit 71
Initiative 80
Meat None
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
large box, vorpal blade
Pickpocket pile of gold coins
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Quantum Mechanic You're fighting a Quantum Mechanic

This is a Quantum Mechanic. With his tools, he manipulates the universe at a subatomic and probabilistic level. With his vorpal sword, he attempts to decapitate you.

Hit Message(s):

He summons a horde of Quantum Mikes to beat the snot out of you. You wish you would have dodged them in the living years. Argh! Ooh! Ouch!

He converts all the atoms in your <ear> to hydrogen. It doesn't hurt, but it's inconvenient. Ow! Ow! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

His vorpal blade goes "snicker snack." It doesn't exactly decapitate you, but it does turn you into a PEZ dispenser. Eek! Oof! Ouch! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

It summons a horde of Quantum Mikes to beat the snot out of you, but you hide until they go away.

He rearranges your body on a subatomic level, but it just gives you whiter teeth and firmer, more luscious lips.

Fumble Message:

His vorpal blade goes "snicker snack," but that reminds him how hungry he is, and he stops attacking you to eat a candy bar. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Lparen.gifYou acquire an item: large box (39.4% chance)*
Rparen.gifYou acquire an item: vorpal blade (15.3% chance)*
You gain 15.25 <substat>.

Occurs in The Dungeons of Doom.


  • A successful attack from this monster has a chance (17.0±7.3%) of making your position uncertain:
Your position suddenly becomes uncertain...
Confused.gifYou acquire an effect: Teleportitis
(duration: 10 Adventures)


He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought--
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
  • The Vorpal Blade is also an artifact weapon in the game NetHack.
  • The Quantum Mikes are a reference to the British band Mike + The Mechanics. The first attack miss refers to the lyrics, "I didn't care if you went away", from their song "All I Need Is a Miracle". One of the successful attacks mentions their song "The Living Years".
  • The teleportitis message comes from NetHack, referring to the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, one of the cornerstones of quantum mechanics.
  • The fumble message's "snicker snack" is referring to the candy bar Snickers, which has the catchline is "Hungry? Grab a Snickers".
  • The critical hit message, specifically the line "It doesn't exactly decapitate you, but it does turn you into a PEZ dispenser", is referencing Frank Miller's Sin City, issue number two of the "The Big Fat Kill" story arc.