Pygmy witch accountant

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Pygmy witch accountant
Monster ID 1430
Locations The Hidden Apartment Building, The Hidden Office Building
Hit Points 148
Attack 150
Defense 138
Initiative 50
Meat 120-180
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
adder, bone abacus, short calculator
Quest McClusky file (page 1), McClusky file (page 2), McClusky file (page 3), McClusky file (page 4), McClusky file (page 5)
Bounty spare abacus bead
Manuel pygmy adder oil
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
pygmy witch accountant You're fighting a pygmy witch accountant

Most tribal societies invent money fairly quickly, because it doesn't take long to come up with a business transaction more complicated than "I will give you this cow for those two goats right now". Once someone has the idea "if you give me those two goats right now, I'll give you twelve of these particular kind of seashell, and then another six of them next week, and you can give them to my cousin for a cow plus a sack of monkey heads", that's when witch accountancy is born.

This particular witch accountant has apparently been short-selling adventurer futures, and needs to protect his investment by making sure you don't have one.

Hit Message(s):

He breaks open an abacus, spilling beads all over the floor and tripping the everloving crap out of you. Ooh! Ouch!

He divides you, leaving a pitiful remainder. Oof! Oof!

He gives you a wicked papercut with a spreadsheet. Oof! Ooh!

He strangles you in red tape. No, literally. Ugh! Ow!

He subtracts your <face> and adds a considerable amount of pain. Eek! Ooh!

He whangs an adding machine at your head. Your pain is multiplied. Argh! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

He gives you a compound fracture in your ankle, which means that in twenty years your whole body is going to be fractured. Ouch! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

He breaks open an abacus, but you're not concerned, because you don't even know what those things are for.

He tries to divide you, but you don't die, you multiply.

He tries to papercut you with a spreadsheet, but you know spreadsheets aren't fun, so you dodge.

He tries to strangle you in red tape, but you're strong enough to break through.

He tries to subtract your <solar plexus>, but you point out he didn't carry the one.

He whangs an adding machine at you, but you dodge before your pain gets multiplied.

Fumble Message:

His interest rate in this fight is dropping, so he stops to tally up some balance sheets to get back into the fighting spirit. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Ccannonball.gifYou acquire a bounty item: spare abacus bead
(X of 13 found)
Meat.gifYou gain 120-180 Meat (average: 150, stdev: 12.65)*
Adder.gifYou acquire an item: adder (? chance)*
Boneabacus.gifYou acquire an item: bone abacus (? chance)*
Littlecalculator.gifYou acquire an item: short calculator (? chance)*
Document thumb.gifYou acquire an item: McClusky file (page 1)
Document thumb.gifYou acquire an item: McClusky file (page 2)
Document thumb.gifYou acquire an item: McClusky file (page 3)
Whitecard.gifYou acquire an item: McClusky file (page 4)
Document thumb.gifYou acquire an item: McClusky file (page 5)
You gain some <substat>.

Occurs in The Hidden Apartment Building and The Hidden Office Building.


  • Will drop 1 McClusky file after every successful combat the first five times it is encountered in any zone.
  • Each file will drop only once.