Pygmy headhunter

Pygmy headhunter
Monster ID	447
Locations	The Hidden Office Building
Hit Points	150
Attack	146
Defense	138
No-Hit	156
Initiative	30
Meat	140-210
Phylum	dude
Elements	sleaze
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, head, leg, torso
Drops briefcase, headhunter necktie, pointed stick, world's smallest violin
Manuel	pygmy papers
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a pygmy headhunter

This is a pygmy in a suit and tie, attempting to recruit all the best pygmies out of neighboring tribes and into his own. Or, failing that, to cut off their heads and impale them on pointy sticks. It's win-win!

Hit Message(s):

He viciously stabs you in the <neck> with his pointy stick.Oof! Ow! Ugh!

He tells you about all the wonderful benefits his tribe provides. While you're mulling over the advantages of a 401k, he stabs you in the head. Ouch! Argh! Argh!

He bashes you in the <throat> with his briefcase. Ugh! Argh! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

He cuts off your head and impales it on a pointy stick. Well, not really, but he comes close. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

He pokes his stick at you, but you fail to get the point.

He starts to tell you about all the wonderful benefits his tribe provides. When he starts talking about death and dismemberment insurance, though, you get wise and dodge out of the way.

He somehow manages to get his tie caught in his briefcase, nearly strangling himself.

Fumble Message:

He swings his briefcase at you. Long story short, he misses. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You gain 140-210 Meat (average: 175, stdev: 14.69)*

You acquire an item: briefcase (60% chance)*

You acquire an item: headhunter necktie (4.8% chance)*

You acquire an item: pointed stick (10.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: world's smallest violin (4.8% chance)*

You gain 36-37 <substat>.

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Occurs in The Hidden Office Building.

References

• Headhunting, when referring to the business practice, is more properly known as executive search.

History

• Prior to the Hidden City revamp on August 24, 2013, this monster occurred in the Ruins, had 155 defense, and the image: