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PvP, or Player versus Player, is opened up when a player smashes his or her Magical Mystical Hippy Stone. This allows players to attack others for one of various results. Players may only attack other players whose stones have been broken. After two weeks have passed since a player has initiated a fight, players have an option to reconstruct the Hippy Stone. If a player is inactive for two weeks, his or her Magical Mystical Hippy Stone will reconstruct automatically. This once again removes the ability for a player to attack, or be attacked by, other players. Hippy Stones are also reconstructed when a player ascends.

Upon smashing one's stone for the first time, one gains access to the chat channel /pvp. Access to this channel remains even if one's stone is reconstructed for any reason.

When a player smashes their stone, they are given a PvP rank equal to the square root of their total unbuffed power, rounded down, and then multiplied by 5, with a minimum of 10 rank. If a player has 200 Moxie, 100 Mysticality, and 105 Muscle (remember, only unbuffed counts), their total power is 405, their rank will be 100 when breaking the stone, since floor(sqrt(405)) = 20, and 20*5 = 100.

PvPing players are given a PvP rank which reflects level and fights won or lost. This level cannot drop below 10 and there is no known maximum rank. A player may only attack players whose rank is attacking player's rank + or - 50.

Players are given a base of ten attacks per day. However, certain equipment, spleen items, and clan equipment award players with additional fights. See Extra PvP Fights for details.

Initiating a PvP attack (or being attacked) does not use up an adventure, but you cannot initiate a PvP fight if you are falling down drunk. If you attempt to do so, you receive the message "You're too drunk to pick a fight. Somehow."

War Spoils

When a player chooses to attack another player, he or she is given one of several options for spoils of war. These are awarded only after a successful attack. Unsuccessful attacks result in a loss of dignity, or substats, which scales with level.

Spoil of Battle Explanation
Rank Results in an increase of rank for the attacker and a decrease for the target beyond the normal rank exchange. Scales with rank difference.
Flowers A pretty flower is picked from the target's campground and placed in the attacker's inventory. If attacker has taken the Bad Moon path, then they will receive a burnt flower instead.
Dignity A few substats are removed from the target and given to the attacker. The amount of stats stolen is approximately equal to min(your mainstat, target's mainstat), capped at 200 with a small variation. The gains/losses of each stat are evenly distributed.
Meat 50 to 75 times the target's level is stolen in Meat. If the target doesn't have enough Meat on hand or in the closet, a pretty flower is picked instead.
Phat Loot (booze) A random booze item located in the target's inventory or closet is given to the attacker. If no booze is present, a pretty flower is picked instead.
Phat Loot (food) A random food item located in the target's inventory or closet is given to the attacker. If no food is present, a pretty flower is picked instead.
Phat Loot (whatever) A random item (not food or booze) located in the target's inventory or closet is given to the attacker. If no items are present, a pretty flower is picked instead.

If you attempt to steal an item from your opponent and he/she has a Meat Golem, you'll take a flower instead of the item if the meat golem successfully stops the theft.

Note that only the first two of these options are available in hardcore or ronin.


Note that the gain For Rank is floor(1.5*gain) of Not for Rank.

Rank Difference Not for Rank For Rank
Loss vs. Higher Rank Gain vs. Higher Rank Loss vs. Higher Rank Gain vs. Higher Rank
Gain vs. Lower Rank Loss vs. Lower Rank Gain vs. Lower Rank Loss vs. Lower Rank
0 10 10 15 15
1 to 3 9 10 13 15
4 to 7 8 11 12 16
8 to 10 7 12 10 18
11 to 14 6 13 9 19
15 to 19 5 14 7 21
20 to 24 4 15 6 22
25 to 30 3 16 4 24
31 to 38 2 17 3 25
39 to 50 1 18 1 27
51+ 0 19 0 28


When initiating an attack, in addition to choosing which spoil to attack for, the attacker chooses which stat to attack his or her opponent with. The four options are Bully (with muscle), Burninate (with mysticality), Backstab (with moxie), or Ballyhoo (chooses a random stat).

PvP itself consists of seven rounds of fighting, called "minigames".

Minigame Explanation
Buffed Stat The first round of PvP compares the buffed stat which the attacker chose to attack with. Unlike the other stat contests, this first buffed has a slight variance, so if the two amounts are relatively close the higher will not always win. On top of the randomness, there is a chance that the defender will defend with a stat other than the one the attacker originally chose. So, for instance, the burninating attacker may have his Mysticality compared to the defending Muscle or Moxie. This is intentional and is reflected in the combat text.
Unbuffed Stat The second round compares the unbuffed stat the attacker chose (or a random stat when Ballyhooing). The player with the higher unbuffed stat wins the round.
Buffed Other Stat The third round compares the buffed stat of one of the other two stat types, chosen randomly. The higher stat wins. (This minigame is not chosen if the PvPer opts to Ballyhoo.)
The last four (or five, when Ballyhooing) rounds are minigames, which compare seemingly senseless attributes of the two players involved to determine the victor. Ties go to the defender, unless otherwise specified.
Balanced Diet The combatant who has consumed the largest number of unique foods in the past 30 days wins the round. Tie goes to the attacker.
Bleeding Contest The combatant with the most current HP wins the round.
Burping Contest The combatant with the most current MP wins the round.
Canadianity Contest The combatant who has drunk the most White Canadians wins the round.
Familiar Weight The combatant whose active familiar has the most weight (buffed) wins the round. In case of a tie, the familiar with the most lifetime kills (not experience) wins the round, in which case it will show up in the summary as Familiar Kills.
Fashion Show The combatant whose armor (hat, pants and shirt) has the highest total power wins the round. Tao of the Terrapin has no effect.
Flower Picking contest The combatant who has picked more pretty flowers in PvP wins the round.
"How Hung Over are You?" The combatant who had the greatest drunkenness at rollover the previous day wins the round.
Pie-Eating Contest The combatant who is less full wins the round. Despite the contest title, this is a comparison of how much fullness you have used, not how much you have left. An attacker with a stomach of steel and 1/20 fullness will still lose to a player with 0/15, because the comparison is 1 vs. 0, not (20-1) vs (15-0).
Popularity Contest The combatant with the lower rank wins the round.
Purity Test The combatant who has the least number of active effects during the battle wins the round.
Tattoo Contest The combatant with the most tattoos wins the round.
Trophy Contest The combatant who has the most trophies wins the round.
Wine Tasting The combatant who has consumed the largest number of unique drinks in the past 30 days wins the round. Tie goes to the attacker.
Work Ethic Contest The combatant who has taken the least amount of vacations during this ascension wins the round.

After all seven rounds, the player who won the majority of minigames wins the match.

Former Minigames Explanation
Drunkenness Contest The combatant who is more drunk wins the round. (Replaced by the "How Hungover Are You?" minigame)
Papaya War The combatant who has more papayas in their inventory wins the round. (Replaced by Flower Picking when Ascension rolled out)
Familiar Kills The combatant whose familiar has the most kills wins the round. (Replaced by Familiar Weight in August 2006. Only shows up when there is a tie in the Familiar Weight mini.)


Hardcore/Ronin PvP

  • There is nothing to be lost when attacked but rank.
  • When attacking, if you lose, there is a slight stat loss. Varies by level. Defender does not receive lost stats.

"Regular" PvP

  • As with hardcore PvP, if you attack and lose, you lose stats. Scales with level. Defender still doesn't receive lost stat points.
  • If successfully hit for Meat, defender loses small amount of Meat. Scales.
  • If successfully hit for phat loot, defender may have one item stolen by attacker. Most valuable items can not be stolen (TPS, Mr. A items, ultra-rares, etc.); however there are a few cases of rares being stolen (One of the most notable cases was a hemp backpack). Current belief is that items with any special flag (no sell, no discard, no trade) cannot be stolen via PvP.
  • Rank can be stolen from any type of successful attack.
  • Mild stat loss if defender is successfully attacked with a dignity hit. Scales with level. Attacker receives lost stats.


  • When a player ascends, his or her PvP rank is reset and his or her Magical Mystical Hippy Stone is repaired.
  • If you attempt to attack yourself, you are presented with the following message: "You know, once you start hurting yourself, you won't be able to stop, and you'll end up working for James Spader as a secretary, and constantly letting him spank you. Let's not start down that road." Earlier in the game it said something about spending the night at a cannibal's house instead, but the exact wording has been lost.


See Also

External Links