Provocateur elf

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Provocateur elf
Monster ID 896
Locations Crimbo Town Toy Factory
Hit Points scales
Attack scales
Defense Scales with player stats
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum elf
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
elven cellocello, elven suicide capsule
Quest elf resistance button
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
provocateur elf You're fighting a provocateur elf

As you prowl up and down the assembly lines, looking for anyone causing trouble, you see an elf tiptoeing between the rows of working elves, whispering in their ears. You catch a few words here and there -- "fat mafia bastard," "overthrow the despot," "Crimbo Town for elves," "War on Crimbo." Clearly, what this elf is stirring is up trouble.

Hit Message(s):

She convinces a worker elf to smack you with his hobby-horse-building hammer. Ooh! Ooh! Oof! Ugh! Ugh! Argh!

She convinces a worker elf to stab you with his whittlin' knife. It hurts a whittle bit. Ooh! Ow! Oof! Argh! Ow! Ooh!

She convinces a worker elf to stab you with his ribbon-cutting scissors. Argh! Argh! Argh! Ouch! Ooh! Ow!

She convinces a worker elf to sew buttons on your eyes. Yipe! I thought this was a kid's story, man. Oof! Ugh! Ow! Eek! Oof! Ooh! Oof! Ooh! Ouch! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

She convinces a few worker elves to hold you down while she kicks you in the ribs, provoking intense pain and some truly impressive screams. Ow! Ouch! Ugh! Eek! Eek! Argh!

Miss Message(s):

She tries to convince you to rebel against the Don, but your loyalty is beyond reproach.

She tries to persuade you to hit yourself, but you'd rather hit your elves

She whispers slogans in your ear, but you resist.

She tries to persuade you to value elves, but you have low elf esteem. Sorry.

Fumble Message:

She forgets a few choice propaganda slogans, and has to go look them up in her little red-and-green book. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Elfbutton.gifYou acquire an item: elf resistance button (40% chance)*
Celloshot.gifYou acquire an item: elven cellocello (?% chance)*
Cube.gifYou acquire an item: elven suicide capsule (?% chance)*

Occurs at Crimbo Town Toy Factory (2009).


  • The bit about sewing buttons over your eyes ("I thought this was a kid's story, man.") references the 2002 Neil Gaiman novel Coraline, and the 2009 animated film based on it.
  • The last sentence of the introduction is reminiscent of a line from an early Simpsons Christmas episode: local news anchor Kent Brockman says "Twas the night before Christmas, and in this house a creature was stirring. But the only thing he was stirring was: up trouble." This itself is a reference to "A Visit from St. Nicholas".