Propaganda-spewin' elf

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Propaganda-spewin' elf
Monster ID 901
Locations Crimbo Town Toy Factory
Hit Points scales
Attack scales
Defense Scales with player stats
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum elf
Elements None
Resistance Indeterminate
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
Drops
poison pen
Quest bottle of agitprop ink, elf resistance button
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
propaganda-spewin' elf You're fighting a propaganda-spewin' elf

"Now we see the violence inherent in the system!" the elf shouts, and launches himself at you.

Hit Message(s):

He beats you with a hammer and slices you with a sickle. It's pretty symbolically, and actually, painful. Ugh! Ugh! Ooh! Ow!

He hits you with a red-and-green book that details the struggles of the elfretariat. Ugh! Ugh! Eek! Ooh!

He smacks you with a pair of manacles to symbolize the struggle of the common elf. Ouch! Ouch! Ooh! Eek!

He smacks you with a chain, to symbolize the slavery of the elfretariat. Ouch! Argh! Eek! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

He delivers a stirring speech to a group of worker elves. They cast off their metaphorical chains of servitude, and beat you senseless with decidedly non-metaphorical hammers and sickles. Ugh! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

He urges you to read his little red-and-green book, but you decline.

He tells you to break your manacles, but you're not manly enough to do so.

He tells you to cast off your chains, but you haven't forged any chains in life.

He tells you to rise and revolt, but you're already pretty revolting.

Fumble Message:

He organizes a cell of elves to attack you with sickles, but fortunately they're all struck with sickle-cell anemia and are too weak to attack you. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Elfbutton.gifYou acquire an item: elf resistance button (40% chance)*
Quillpen.gifYou acquire an item: poison pen (?% chance)*
Inkbottle.gifYou acquire an item: bottle of agitprop ink (100% chance)*

Occurs at Crimbo Town Toy Factory (2009).

References

  • The description is a reference to a famous line from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
  • All attacks are references to various communist symbols.
  • The "chains in life" miss message is a reference to Jacob Marley and his warning to Scrooge.