Pretentious Artist Quest

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Go to The Dirt-Walled Hovel of the Pretentious Artist, which is on the bottom left hand corner at the wrong side of the tracks. Inside, the Pretentious Artist will ask you to recover his paint, paintbrush and pail.



  • You acquire a pail.
  • The Pretentious Artist will buy rat whiskers from you for 50 meat each.
  • The Pretentious Artist will draw tattoos for you based on the outfit you are wearing.
  • You receive this tattoo: Palette2.gif


  • On initial visit:
A tall, skinny, shaggy-haired man with thick plastic-rimmed glasses paces back and forth, alternating between barely-audible murmuring and loud swearing. He looks up at you as you walk in.
"You there. Plebeian. I am the greatest artist the Kingdom of Loathing has ever known, but lately I've been unable to grace its population with my works of staggering genius, because all of my painting supplies have been lost or stolen.
"Will you help me retrieve them?"
"Sure, I'm always glad to support the arts."
"Great. If I'm going to work, I'll need my paintbrush, my palette, and my paint.
"The last time I remember seeing the palette, I was near the Haunted Pantry on the Right Side of the Tracks. My pail of paint -- I probably lost it while I was slumming in the Sleazy Back Alley looking for inspiration. And my brush was stolen by this punk Knob Goblin kid who's always trying to bite my style."
  • On subsequent visits:
"You still need to find my tools! Please hurry!
(If you haven't found it yet) "My brush was stolen by one of the Knob Goblins.
(If you haven't found it yet) "My palette is somewhere near the Haunted Pantry.
(If you haven't found it yet) "My paint is probably in the Sleazy Back Alley."
  • Upon completion:
"Hooray! Now I can once again create paintings of such stunning beauty, such rich symbolism, that maybe a few people in this horrible, oppressive world can begin to understand my pain."
The artist pours the pail of paint into a huge barrel, then says "Oh, hey, do you want this empty pail? I don't really have room for it, so if you want it, you can have it."
Pailup.gifYou acquire an item: pail


  • The subsequent visits text was changed without notification sometime around March 13, 2009. The initial visit text was changed with notification on October 6, 2010.