Possessed Can of Linguine-Os
|Possessed Can of Linguine-Os|
|Locations||every 35-40 adventures during Peripatetic Pasta|
This is a piping hot can of Linguini-Os, a grotesque parody of homemade pasta and sauce. The noodles are all stuck together and an unnatural yellow shade, and the sauce tastes like aluminum and chemical preservatives.
Not that you're going to be tasting it, of course, unless some splashes in your mouth when you stab the can.
It slings two ribbons of linguine at you. You duck, but the boiling sauce they're dipped in splashes your kidney. Oof! Ugh! Ouch! (hot damage)
It splashes some of the boiling, chemical-smelling sauce on your nipple. That's going to leave a mark, and possibly spark a mutation. Ooh! Argh! Oof! (hot damage)
It tosses a limp, mealy, and very hot ribbon of linguine at your head. Ow! Eek! Argh! (hot damage)
It clanks its red-hot can against your shins. You make up new slang to describe how much it hurts. Oof! Argh! Eek! (hot damage)
It whips a noodle of hot linguine around your neck and squeezes until you choke. Ouch! Ouch! Argh! (hot damage)
It wraps linguine tendrils around you, pulls you close, and blasts you in the face with scalding-hot sauce. The preservatives in the sauce don't preserve you, sadly. Eek! Ooh! Eek! (hot damage)
It slings its red-hot can lid at you, but you flip your lid. I mean, you flip over the lid, so it doesn't hit you.
It slings two ribbons of linguine at you, but you duck twice, you goose.
It splashes some boiling sauce at you, but you saucily dodge.
It tosses a limp noodle at you, but you use your noodle and dodge.
It tries to clank into you with its red-hot can, but it can't do it.
It whips a hot noodle at you, but you've never feared being whipped with a wet noodle.
It notices it's still kind of lukewarm in the middle, so it stops to stir itself up. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain Meat.|
|You acquire an item: spoonful of Linguine-Os (100% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: spoonful of Linguine-Os (??% chance)*|
- An obvious hot variant of Spaghetti-Os.