Possessed Can of Cranberry Sauce
|Possessed Can of Cranberry Sauce|
|Locations||Appears about every 30 adventures on Feast of Boris|
|Hit Points||75% of Player HP|
|Attack||Player's Buffed Moxie - 3|
|Defense||Player's Buffed Muscle - 3|
|Monster Parts||arm, can, leg|
|Bounty||shredded can label|
There are two schools of thought on cranberry sauce -- some maintain it should be made out of actual cranberries and should have texture and various other flavors, such as cinnamon and orange. The other insists cranberry sauce should be, essentially, stiff cranberry-flavored gelatin, like this monster. Both sides agree, however, that demonic possession really ruins the flavor.
It slices your <head> with a jagged bit of can lid. Eek! Ouch! Argh!
The top part of its can rotates 360 degrees and it spews acidic cranberry juice at you. It burns! Eek! Ugh! Ow! Eek!
It slams into your <kidney> with the butt-end of its can. Its can can, you might say, even though it isn't dancing. Ooh! Ouch! Ugh! Eek!
It leaps onto your foot, smashing your toe. You look down, and it suddenly leaps straight up and hits you in the face. Y'know, this'd probably be funny, if it happened to somebody else. Ow! Eek! Argh! Ouch! Ooh!
It slices at you with its jagged lid, but can't seem to connect.
It spews acidic cranberry juice at you, but you leap aside.
It growls and leaps at you, but you say "The power of Boris compels you!" a couple hundred times, until it settles down.
It lurches toward you, but the bottom of the can suddenly falls open and all of the congealed sauce slides out between its legs. It looks around to see if anybody noticed. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: tube of cranberry Go-Goo|
|You acquire an item: can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce|
- If you are on the appropriate bounty hunt:
|You acquire an item: shredded can label (100% chance)*|
|You gain some <substat>.|
Occurs at random locations on the Feast of Boris.
- This monster was originally very weak, yielding only 1 substat, but now it scales to your stats.
- Tubes of cranberry Go-Goo only drop for characters below level 6, and can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce will only drop for characters level 6 and above. Avatars of Boris will receive tubes of cranberry Go-Goo no matter their level.
- This monster cannot be copied.
- The miss message wherein you quote "The power of Boris compels you!" a hundred times is reminiscent of the exorcism scene in the film The Exorcist where the priests chant "The power of Christ compels you!" while splashing Linda Blair's character with holy water. The hit message in which the top part of the can spins around is also a reference to this movie.
- The critical hit message may possibly be referencing a scene in the film Maximum Overdrive wherein members of a baseball team are hilariously killed by a soft-drink machine ejecting cans first into their groins and then into their heads when they bend over in pain.