Possessed Can of Cranberry Sauce

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Possessed Can of Cranberry Sauce
Monster ID 316
Locations Appears about every 30 adventures on Feast of Boris
Hit Points 75% of Player HP
Attack Player's Buffed Moxie - 3
Defense Player's Buffed Muscle - 3
Initiative 100
Meat None
Phylum undead
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, can, leg
Drops
tube of cranberry Go-Goo (below level 6), can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce (level 6 and above)
Bounty shredded can label
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Possessed Can of Cranberry Sauce You're fighting a Possessed Can of Cranberry Sauce

There are two schools of thought on cranberry sauce -- some maintain it should be made out of actual cranberries and should have texture and various other flavors, such as cinnamon and orange. The other insists cranberry sauce should be, essentially, stiff cranberry-flavored gelatin, like this monster. Both sides agree, however, that demonic possession really ruins the flavor.

Hit Message(s):

It slices your <head> with a jagged bit of can lid. Eek! Ouch! Argh!

The top part of its can rotates 360 degrees and it spews acidic cranberry juice at you. It burns! Eek! Ugh! Ow! Eek!

It slams into your <kidney> with the butt-end of its can. Its can can, you might say, even though it isn't dancing. Ooh! Ouch! Ugh! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

It leaps onto your foot, smashing your toe. You look down, and it suddenly leaps straight up and hits you in the face. Y'know, this'd probably be funny, if it happened to somebody else. Ow! Eek! Argh! Ouch! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

It slices at you with its jagged lid, but can't seem to connect.

It spews acidic cranberry juice at you, but you leap aside.

It growls and leaps at you, but you say "The power of Boris compels you!" a couple hundred times, until it settles down.

Fumble Message:

It lurches toward you, but the bottom of the can suddenly falls open and all of the congealed sauce slides out between its legs. It looks around to see if anybody noticed. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Gogurt.gifYou acquire an item: tube of cranberry Go-Goo
Cransauce.gifYou acquire an item: can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce
Shredlabel.gifYou acquire an item: shredded can label (100% chance)*
You gain some <substat>.

Occurs at random locations on the Feast of Boris.

Notes

References

  • The miss message wherein you quote "The power of Boris compels you!" a hundred times is reminiscent of the exorcism scene in the film The Exorcist where the priests chant "The power of Christ compels you!" while splashing Linda Blair's character with holy water. The hit message in which the top part of the can spins around is also a reference to this movie.
  • The critical hit message may possibly be referencing a scene in the film Maximum Overdrive wherein members of a baseball team are hilariously killed by a soft-drink machine ejecting cans first into their groins and then into their heads when they bend over in pain.