Please, Hammer

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Please, Hammer
Please, Hammer

As you near the Sleazy Back Alley, a man approaches you with tears in his eyes.

"You gotta help me," he says. "My... my hammer. -snif- My hammer is broken. It means more to me than anything in the world, and it's broken. -snif- Can you help me?"

He looks at you, eyes gleaming. His eyes, not yours.

"Sure, I'll help."

"Sure, man. I'll help" you say, and his eyes light up. "Th... -snif- thank you..." he says, and hands you the pieces of the broken hammer.

"My name's Harold, by the way. I'll wait right here for you."

Hammerhead.gifYou acquire an item: Harold's hammer head
Hammerhandle.gifYou acquire an item: Harold's hammer handle

"Sorry, no time."

"Sorry, man, I've got all this... I mean I had other... I... uh... don't want to help you." you stammer, shuffling away from the guy as quickly as you can.

"What's the frequency, Kenneth?"

You begin pummeling the man with your fists, screaming "What's the frequency, Kenneth?" over and over as you do so.

After your arms get tired, you leave the alley, wondering what came over you. You consider it for a few minutes, then lose interest because you see something shiny in the gutter. Guess it'll remain a mystery.

You gain 5-6 Muscleboundness.

Occurs in The Sleazy Back Alley.


  • Choosing "Sure, I'll help" triggers Harold's Hammer Quest.
  • Neither "Sorry, no time" nor "Sure, I'll help" consumes an adventure.


  • "What's the Frequency, Kenneth?" is a song (by R.E.M.) whose title refers to the phrase repeatedly screamed by an assailant that attacked newsman Dan Rather (the attacker actually said "Kenneth, what is the frequency?"). For years, the attack was considered one of the great mysteries of the 20th century, which explains the line "Guess it'll remain a mystery." The real-life version of this incident is no longer a mystery. In 1997, the attacker was revealed to be William Tager. He thought that NBC was beaming signals into his head, and that if he could find the right frequency, he could block the signals.
  • The name of this adventure, as well as the name of the following adventure (Don't Hurt 'Em), is a reference to the 1990 MC Hammer album, "Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em".