PADL Phone

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PADL Phone
PADL Phone

Because of its tiny size and sizeable trendiness, the PADL Phone is highly sought after by orcish frat boys, even though they can't actually dial the phone with their fat fingers. Since it takes pictures and plays music, the phone capabilities are really just an afterthought, though.

Type: combat item (reusable)
Selling Price: 100 Meat.

Summons Frat Army Aid

(In-game plural: PADL Phones)
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Item number: 2065
Description ID: 739819882
View in-game: view
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Obtained From

The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues)
I Am The Brotherhood (one-time)
The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues)
Beer Bongadier
Elite Beer Bongadier
Heavy Kegtank
Panty Raider Frat Boy
Sorority Nurse
Sorority Operator (3)
War Frat 151st Captain
War Frat Elite 110th Captain
War Frat Elite 500th Captain
War Frat Elite Wartender
War Frat Grill Sergeant
War Frat Kegrider
War Frat Mobile Grill Unit
War Frat Senior Grill Sergeant
War Frat Wartender

When Used

You punch a few buttons on the phone, and a few seconds later, a naughty sorority nurse runs up to you. She gently kicks you into a chair with her high-heeled foot, then slowly removes a gauze garter from her leg before applying it to your wounds. You wipe the sweat from your brow as she walks off and you get ready to continue the fight, full of renewed vim and vigor.
HPYou gain 250-300 hit points.
You punch a few buttons on the phone, and a sorority nurse runs up to you and injects you with a concentrated dose of energy drink. It hurts, but it's pretty refreshing.
MPYou gain 150-200 Mana Points.
You punch a few buttons on the phone, and hear a rumbling as a nearby kegtank rolls up to your opponents and fires a volley of beer cans at him, dealing 128-177 damage.
  • Possibly, when used before 10 turns have passed since last use:
A nearby frat soldier sees you about to send a message to HQ, and says "Dude, bra. Don't bogart HQ's attention, bra -- you gotta look out for the rest of the brotherhood." Then he takes your phone and walks off. What a jerk!
The frat army HQ isn't likely to send you reinforcements in this particular fight. You probably shouldn't even bother.
  • After the war is over, in regular locations (does not consume a round of combat):
You punch buttons on the phone for a while, but nothing interesting happens.
You pull out the PADL phone but your hands are too sweaty to hang onto it and it slips into the lava.
or very rarely,
The PADL phone slips out of your sweaty hand, but you manage to catch a tiny bit of it before it manages to completely dissolve in the lava.
Sig antenna.gifYou acquire an item: intact medium-wave antenna


  • Can be traded in for 2 dimes at the wartime Hippy Camp.
  • PADL phones are not consumed when used unless they are used too often.
  • The phone's effect is determined as follows:
    • If used within 10 turns of the previous use, there is a chance of getting no effect and losing the phone. The chance of nothing happening N turns after the last use is 100%-N*10%.
    • Otherwise, if the player has less than 25% of their HP remaining, HP is restored.
    • Otherwise, if the player has less than 25% of their MP remaining, MP is restored.
    • Otherwise, the enemy is damaged.


  • The name is a reference to Motorola's styling of naming its phones, such as the RAZR, SLVR, and PEBL, and also a reference to the Frat Boys' use of paddles.

See Also


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