Orcish juvenile delinquent

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Orcish juvenile delinquent
Monster ID 954
Locations Kegger in the Woods
Hit Points 80
Attack 35
Defense 40
Initiative 50
Meat 4-6
Phylum orc
Elements sleaze
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
plastic cup of beer
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
orcish juvenile delinquent You're fighting an orcish juvenile delinquent

This is an orcish frat boy's little brother. His idolization of his older brother's douchebaggery, filtered through an adolescent set of hormones, makes him quite possibly the least appealing monster you've ever encountered.

Given that you've fought creatures made entirely out of gooey eyeballs, that's saying something.

Hit Message(s):

He says, "don't get in my face, brah!" and punches you in the nose. Ow!

He gives you a drunken hug, and he's practically drowning in big brother's cologne. Oof! (sleaze damage)

He tries to knock you out with a piece of roofing shingle. He can't throw hard enough to do so, but it still hurts. Oof!

He whacks you in the hindquarters with a frat paddle. It's not as painful as a frat-boy-driven paddle, but it's more humiliating. Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

He hits you in the hindquarters with a paddle, then in the face with a rock from his slingshot. Who would have thought baby frat boys were even more douchey than the full-grown ones? Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

He starts to make fun of you, but his voice cracks and he's too embarrassed to continue.

He tries to give you a drunken hug, but you sidestep it.

He asks if you'll go buy him some more beer. Your response involves several different hells of no.

He makes fun of your outfit. You smirk inwardly, because at least you aren't wearing eight layered polo shirts with popped collars.

Fumble Message:

He's too busy trying to score with some of the sorority-orcs-in-training to attack this round. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 4-6 Meat (average: 5, stdev: 0.71)*
Plasticcup.gifYou acquire an item: plastic cup of beer
You gain 8-9 <substat>.

Using a plastic cup of beer:

Plasticcup.gif
You hand the cup of beer to the frat boy, feeling slightly guilty about contributing to the delinquency of this particular minor. Then you remember that he was already pretty delinquent to begin with, and your guilt passes. The frat boy wanders off and passes out.

Having dispatched the frat boy, you wander off to a different part of the party.

Occurs at Kegger in the Woods.