Orcish frat wannaboy
| Orcish frat wannaboy | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 955 |
| Locations | Kegger in the Woods |
| Hit Points | 90 |
| Attack | 38 |
| Defense | 54 |
| Initiative | 40 |
| Meat | 8-12 |
| Phylum | orc |
| Elements | sleaze |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | head, arm, leg, torso |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting an orcish frat wannaboyThis junior frat boy is desperate to be as cool as the orcish frat boys, which demonstrates a stunning lack of perspective and discernment. He's wearing eight layered pastel polo shirts with popped collars, an orange fake tan, giant diamond earrings, and a hat cocked to the side. He looks so ridiculous that he almost pushes you past rage into gales of laughter.
Almost.
Hit Message(s):
He puts his trucker hat on your head. The combination of hair goop and fake tan gives you a chemical burn. Eek!
He says, "don't get in my face, brah!" and punches you in the nose. Ouch!
He tries to haze you, but you don't go along with it, so he just punches you in the <foot>. Argh!
He tries to punch you, with little success, but he does smear goopy fake tan all over you. Eek! (sleaze damage)
He pops you in the <leg> once for each of his popped collars, which makes you pretty hot under the collar yourself. Eek!
He stops to spray on a little more fake tan.
You adjust his hat so it's on straight, and he has to run off and find a mirror to get it back to the right douchey angle.
He shouts, "I'm a frat boy in training, brah!" Then blushes as everyone around him asks why he's wearing a training bra.
He shouts, "get your bra out of my face! No, wait, I mean --" but everyone's already giggling.
He goes off to get another beer, leaving you mercifully unmolested this round. (FUMBLE!)
 | You gain 8-12 Meat (average: 10, stdev: 1.15)* |
 | You acquire an item: plastic cup of beer |
| You gain 9-10 <substat>. |
Using a plastic cup of beer:
|
|
| You hand the cup of beer to the frat boy, feeling slightly guilty about contributing to the delinquency of this particular minor. Then you remember that he was already pretty delinquent to begin with, and your guilt passes. The frat boy wanders off and passes out. |
Having dispatched the frat boy, you wander off to a different part of the party.
Occurs at Kegger in the Woods.
