One Rustic Nightstand

There are some vague or non-exact figures and information on this page. Some spading is required. statgains are 100/200?

Choice adventure number: 879

One Rustic Nightstand

Having given the nightstand an old-fashioned beating, you approach its no-longer-animated form.

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Check the top drawer

In the top drawer of the nightstand, you find a paperback of the... shall we say... racy variety. Looks like Lady Spookyraven was a little more adventurous than the historians gave her credit for!

You flip through the book, and even a cursory glance teaches you a few things you didn't know about the art of love. Moxious!

You gain X Chutzpah.

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Check the bottom drawer

You open the drawer, and a little ball of ghostly light darts out of it and directly into your sack.

Hmm. Do you think it did that on purpose?

You acquire an item: grouchy restless spirit

or

This drawer seems to be empty. What a disappointment.

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Investigate the jewelry

remains of a jilted mistress -- (edit metadata)

Item Drops: chintzy seal pendant (Seal Clubber), chintzy turtle brooch (Turtle Tamer), chintzy noodle ring (Pastamancer), chintzy saucepan earring (Sauceror), chintzy disco ball pendant (Disco Bandit), chintzy accordion pin (Accordion Thief), antique hand mirror (all classes), gilt perfume bottlem Meat Drop: None Monster Level: 65 • Substat Gain: 16.25 • Moxie for No Hit*: 75 Monster Defense: 60 Hit Points: 65 Initiative: 50 Elemental Alignment: spooky, weak against hot and stench

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Use a ghost key

You stick the ghost key into the space between the now-dead nightstand and the spirit that once inhabited it. As the key turns, you experience an entire lifetime's worth of memories -- loves, more loves, some recreational drugs, and a bunch more loves. It's a pretty exciting lifetime. As the key concludes its arc, it vanishes as you snap back to reality.

You gain 200 Sarcasm.

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Check under the nightstand

Under the nightstand, you find a book that at first glance appears to be a racy novel, but turns out to just be a cookbook. You idly wonder if Lady Spookyraven was as disappointed when she found out as you are right now.

You acquire an item: Engorged Sausages and You

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Ignore it

You decline to investigate the nightstand.

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Occurs after defeating an animated rustic nightstand in The Haunted Bedroom.

Notes

• Fighting the remains of a jilted mistress takes a turn, unlike every other nightstand post-combat choice.
  • The option will not appear if you have 0 adventures left.
• The stats from the top drawer (X) are approximately 1x mainstat, capped at 200.
• The Engorged Sausages and You choice does not always appear.

History

• Before a trivial update on December 09, 2014, only one jilted mistress per day could be encountered via the Rustic Nightstand. Subsequently, the Investigate the jewelry option didn't consume an adventure and yielded the message:

You don't find any additional jewelry of interest.

• Before March 9, 2021, you could fight the jilted mistress even if you had zero turns remaining, effectively acting as a free combat in the process.

	One Nightstand in The Haunted Bedroom
	Mahogany			Ornate			Rustic			Elegant			Simple
	Check the top drawer	half of a memo or old coin purse		Open the top drawer	400-600 Meat		Check the top drawer	50-200 Cheek		Open the single drawer	Lady Spookyraven's finest gown		Look in the top drawer	old leather wallet
	Check the bottom drawer	Lose HP		Open the bottom drawer	50-200 Magicalness		Check the bottom drawer	grouchy restless spirit or nothing		Break a leg (off of the nightstand)	elegant nightstick		Look in the bottom drawer	50-200 Fortitude
	Look under the nightstand	Spookyraven Manor Quest Item		Look behind the nightstand	Lord Spookyraven's spectacles		Investigate the jewelry	Fight remains of a jilted mistress		Use a ghost key	100 of each stat		Use a ghost key	200 Beefiness
	Use a ghost key	Gain meat		Look under the nightstand	disposable instant camera		Use a ghost key	200 Smarm
				Use a ghost key	200 Wizardliness		Check under the nightstand (rare)	Engorged Sausages and You