One-handed weapons

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One-handed weapons require only one hand, allowing for Off-hand Items and dual-wielding with some restrictions:

• Melee and Mysticality weapons can be wielded together.
• Ranged can only be doubled up with other ranged weapons.
• Accordions can only be equipped in the main hand, although a different ranged weapon can be used in the off-hand.
• Chefstaves can only be equipped in the main hand, although a different non-ranged weapon can be used in the off-hand.

All accordions, banjos, boomerangs, crossbows, forearm replacements, guitars, pistols, and slingshots are ranged weapons. All other items are considered melee/Mysticality weapons unless otherwise noted.

The Disembodied Hand familiar can equip all one-handed weapons (with the exception of chefstaves and accordions), regardless of level requirements, and convey the weapon's effects to you.

Name	Damage	Req	Weapon Type	Notes
Blood knife	30-60	None	1-handed knife	This item will disappear at the end of the day
Granny Hackleton's Gatling gun	30-60	70 Moxie	1-handed machine gun	Moxie +25% +10% chance of Critical Hit Ranged Damage +200%
Great Wolf's right paw	30-60	250 Muscle	1-handed claw	Part of the Dreadful Werewolf Suit Weapon Damage +50 Weapon Damage +50% +10% Chance of Critical Hit (SC only)
zombie accordion	30-60	250 Moxie	1-handed accordion	Ranged Damage +50 +5% Item Drops from Monsters Keep 1 additional song in your head Enables casting of 20-turn Accordion Thief buffs Bonus for ATs only
frying brainpan	23-45	200 Mysticality	1-handed saucepan	+40 Damage to Hot Spells Enables the casting of 20-turn Sauceror buffs Maximum MP +200
groping claw	23-45	200 Muscle	1-handed claw	Successful hit weakens opponent +30 Sleaze Damage
hothammer	23-45	200 Muscle	1-handed club	+50 Hot Damage
old dry bone	23-45	200 Muscle	1-handed club	+50 Spooky Damage
remorseless knife	23-45	200 Muscle	1-handed knife	Successful hit causes bleeding.
7-inch discus	20-40	85 Moxie	1-handed boomerang	Moxie +5% Weapon Damage +10% On critical hit: grants 3 turns of +50% to All Attributes
antique spear	20-40	85 Muscle	1-handed polearm	Part of the Antique Arms And Armor Combat Initiative -30% Successful hit weakens opponent Pulverizes into useless powder Can break in combat
brand new key	20-40	85 Muscle	1-handed knife	Muscle +5% Weapon Damage +20
Brimstone Bludgeon	20-40	30 Muscle	1-handed club	Muscle +50% Mysticality -20% Weapon Damage +30 SC's BM reward
Byte	20-40	200 Muscle	1-handed sword	Spell Damage +100% +15% chance of Spell Critical Hit
cursed cutlass	20-40	85 Muscle	1-handed sword	Part of the Cursed Zombie Pirate Costume Muscle +15
deep six-shooter	20-40	85 Moxie	1-handed pistol	Ranged Damage +40 +6% chance of Critical Hit
diabolical crossbow	20-40	150 Moxie	1-handed crossbow	Slime Hates It +30 Spooky Damage +10% Chance of Critical Hit
Dinsey's pizza cutter	20-40	100 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Part of the Dinsey's Exoskeleton Spell Damage +50% So-So Resistance to All Elements (+2) Motorized Blade is Good for Twisting
dreadful glove	20-40	200 Muscle	1-handed knife-glove	Part of the Dreadful Pajamas +5% Chance of Critical Hit Lets you find 5% more Krueggerands
duct tape sword	20-39	82 Muscle	1-handed sword	Part of the Tapered Threads Damage Absorption +40 +5% Items from Monsters
fish scimitar	20-40	85 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +5% Weapon Damage +10%
Flail of the Seven Aspects	20-40	60 Muscle	1-handed flail	Part of the Legendary Regalia of the Chelonian Overlord Muscle +15 Never Fumble Handle Doubles as a Turtling Rod Special Attack: Turtle of Seven Tails Enables the casting of 20-turn TT buffs Turtle Tamer's Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon
Frosty's arm	20-40	200 Muscle	1-handed staff	Weapon Damage +30 +30 Cold Damage
Frosty's snowball sack	20-40	200 Moxie	1-handed sack	+50 Cold Damage
garbage sticker	20-40	85 Muscle	1-handed spear	+20% Food Drops from Monsters +20% Booze Drops from Monsters +20% Accessory Drops from Monsters +20% Weapon Drops from Monsters +20% Hat/Pants Drops from Monsters +30% Meat from Monsters
Hodgman's whackin' stick	20-40	200 Muscle	1-handed club	All Attributes +20% On Critical: Insanity!
The Jokester's gun	20-40	50 Moxie	1-handed pistol	Part of The Jokester's Costume +5 Prismatic Damage Combat Initiative +25% +50% Pants Drops from Monsters Can be fired in a weird way once per day to instantly defeat an opponent
lawn dart	20-40	200 Muscle	1-handed club	Muscle +15% Weapon Damage +20% Maximum HP +300 Can be consumed in combat for thousands of damage
Mer-kin finpaddle	20-40	85 Muscle	1-handed club	+100% Damage vs. Mer-kin
Mer-kin hookspear	20-40	85 Muscle	1-handed spear	Combat Initiative +20% Weapon Damage +40 Extracts Meat on critical hits
Mjolnir Jr.	20-40	85 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	A custom item given to Thor the Mighty
octopus's spade	20-40	85 Muscle	1-handed knife	+5% Items from Monsters Combat Initiative +10% Weapon Damage +15
pernicious cudgel	20-40	150 Muscle	1-handed club	Slime Hates It +30 Sleaze Damage +10% Chance of Critical Hit
Pigsticker of Violence	20-40	100 Muscle	1-handed knife	Part of the Violent Vestments Regenerate 20-30 HP per adventure +10% Chance of Critical Hit Weapon Damage +60% Lets you stab opponents as they fail to attack you
rusty piece of rebar	20-40	85 Muscle	1-handed club	Weapon Damage +25 +7% Chance of Critical Hit
rusty speargun	20-40	85 Moxie	1-handed pistol	Weapon Damage +25 +7% Chance of Critical Hit On Critical: Deals 50-60 additional damage
skate blade	20-40	85 Muscle	1-handed knife	Moxie +5% Devels on hit
Sledgehammer of the Vælkyr	20-40	60 Muscle	1-handed club	Part of the Legendary Regalia of the Seal Crusher Muscle +23 +10% Chance of Critical Hit +20% Physical Damage Special Attack: Bashing Slam Smash Seal Clubber's Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon
slime-covered club	20-40	200 Muscle	1-handed club	Weapon Damage +25 +50 Damage vs. Slimes +7% Chance of Critical Hit
slime-covered speargun	20-40	200 Moxie	1-handed pistol	Weapon Damage +25 +50 Damage vs. Slimes +7% Chance of Critical Hit
soap knife	20-40	60 Muscle	1-handed knife
Stick-Knife of Loathing	20-40	150 Muscle	1-handed knife	Part of the Clothing of Loathing Weapon Damage +100% Spell Damage +200% Superhuman Cold Resistance (+5)
super-sweet boom box	20-40	75 Moxie	1-handed radio	All Attributes +20% Regenerate 5-10 HP and MP per adventure Allows you to keep 4 songs in your head instead of 3.
teflon spatula	20-40	85 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Mysticality +10% Serious Sleaze Resistance Bonus Spell Damage +40
Truthsayer	20-40	200 Muscle	1-handed sword	+12 to Monster Level Weapon Damage +40%
Uncle Hobo's highest bough	20-40	200 Muscle	1-handed club	Muscle +15% Regenerate 15-30 HP per adventure Regenerate 15-30 MP per adventure
velcro broadsword	20-40	85 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +5% Regenerate 6-12 MP per adventure +20% Hat/Pants Items from Monsters
velcro paddle ball	20-40	85 Moxie	1-handed flail	Moxie +5% Regenerate 6-12 MP per adventure +20% Accessory Items from Monsters
White Dragon Fang	20-40	200 Muscle	1-handed sword	All Attributes +9% Prismatic Damage +9 Regenerate 9 MP per adventure
Windsor Pan of the Source	20-40	60 Mysticality	1-handed saucepan	Part of the Legendary Regalia of the Saucemaestro Mysticality +15 Spell Damage +23 +11% chance of Spell Critical Hit Special Attack: Saucemageddon Enables the casting of 20-turn Sauceror buffs Sauceror's Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon
wolf whistle	20-40	85 Moxie	1-handed whistle	Grants skill Blow Wolf Whistle Regenerate 10-20 HP and MP per adventure +100 Sleaze Damage
Wrath of the Capsaician Pastalords	20-40	60 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Part of the Legendary Regalia of the Pasta Master Mysticality +15 +50% Food Drops From Monsters Combat Initiative +40% Special Attack: Noodles of Fire Pastamancer's Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon
beer bong	19-38	80 Moxie	1-handed bong	+15 Stench Damage Monster Level +5
ghast iron cleaver	18-35	72 Muscle	1-handed club	Part of the Ghast Iron Gear +15 Spooky Damage +15 Hot Damage
goatskin umbrella	18-36	75 Muscle	1-handed umbrella	+15 Stench Damage
honey dipper	18-35	72 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Part of the Bits o' Honey Mysticality +5% Regenerate 3-7 MP per adventure Spell Damage +15
oversized pipe	18-35	72 Muscle	1-handed club	Muscle +6 Mysticality +6
toy ray gun	18-35	72 Moxie	1-handed pistol	+5 Hot Damage +5% Chance of Critical Hit
unsanitized scalpel	18-36	35 Muscle	1-handed knife	+25 Sleaze Damage
war tongs	18-36	75 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	+10 Hot Damage +10 Damage to Hot Spells
ancient ice cream scoop	17-34	70 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +20
combat fan	17-33	67 Muscle	1-handed flail	+3 Prismatic Damage
dwarvish war mattock	17-33	67 Muscle	1-handed axe	Part of the Dwarvish War Uniform Shows monster HP
giant foam finger	17-34	70 Muscle	1-handed club	Damage Reduction: +3
happiness	17-33	67 Moxie	1-handed pistol	+12 Hot Damage
Maxwell's Silver Hammer	17-33	67 Muscle	1-handed club	Mysticality +10 Weapon Damage +10
pygmy spear	17-33	67 Muscle	1-handed spear	Muscle +7
red-hot poker	17-33	67 Muscle	1-handed club	+15 Hot Damage
Saturday Night Special	17-33	67 Moxie	1-handed pistol	So-So Hot Resistance (+2)
short-handled mop	17-33	67 Muscle	1-handed polearm	+10 Stench Damage +10 Sleaze Damage
antique machete	16-31	62 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +5%
black blade	16-32	65 Muscle	1-handed knife	+10 Spooky Damage Successful attacks restore some HP
black sword	16-32	65 Muscle	1-handed sword	Part of the Black Armaments +7% Chance of Critical Hit Weapon Damage +7
breadchucks	16-31	62 Muscle	1-handed flail	Weapon Damage +10 +10 Hot Damage Can also be used in combat
fleetwood chain	16-31	62 Muscle	1-handed flail	Weapon Damage +5
giant cactus quill	16-32	65 Muscle	1-handed spear	+7% chance of Critical Hit Maximum HP +30
giant safety pin	16-31	62 Muscle	1-handed spear	Weapon Damage +10 Successful hit weakens opponent
half-size scalpel	16-31	62 Muscle	1-handed knife	Weapon Damage +10% Makes you look like a doctor
The Nuge's favorite crossbow	16-32	30 Moxie	1-handed crossbow	Ranged Damage +30 Combat Initiative +100% +5 Adventure(s) per day when equipped
pointed stick	16-32	65 Muscle	1-handed spear	+5% Chance of Critical Hit Weapon Damage +10
trout fang	16-32	65 Muscle	1-handed knife	Weapon Damage +15 25% chance of poisoning opponent
X-37 gun	16-32	65 Moxie	1-handed pistol	Attack damage in a random element Can break in combat, damaging player
yohohoyo	16-32	65 Moxie	1-handed yoyo	+5% Chance of Critical Hit +1 Spooky Damage +1 Stench Damage +1 Hot Damage +1 Cold Damage +1 Sleaze Damage
batblade	15-29	57 Muscle	1-handed knife	Weapon Damage +15
C.H.U.M. knife	15-30	175 Muscle	1-handed knife	+30 Stench Damage
candy knife	15-30	40 Muscle	1-handed knife
club of the five seasons	15-30	60 Muscle	1-handed club	+5 Spooky Damage +5 Stench Damage +5 Hot Damage +5 Cold Damage +5 Sleaze Damage
flaming sword	15-30	60 Muscle	1-handed sword	+20 Hot Damage +10% chance of Spell Critical Hit Never Fumble
giant artisanal rice peeler	15-30	60 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +15
grassy cutlass	15-30	60 Muscle	1-handed sword	Weapon Damage +11
grease cannon	15-30	35 Moxie	1-handed bazooka	+20 Hot Damage +20 Sleaze Damage Sets opponents on fire
Grimacite gat	15-30	40 Moxie	1-handed gun	A prize from The Raffle House Combat Initiative +20% Moxie +0-50% based on Grimace darkness
heavy leather-bound tome	15-30	60 Muscle	1-handed club	Successful hit weakens opponent
heteroerotic frat-paddle	15-30	60 Muscle	1-handed club	A custom item given to Mr Skullhead
immense cyborg hand	15-30	60 Muscle	1-handed club	Weapon Damage +5 +3 Spooky Damage +3 Stench Damage +3 Hot Damage +3 Cold Damage +3 Sleaze Damage
keel-haulin' knife	15-30	60 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +17
love	15-30	35 Moxie	1-handed pistol	+50% Pants Drops from Monsters Regenerate 8-16 HP and MP per adventure +5 to Familiar Weight
obsidian nutcracker	15-30	60 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +30%
Othello's dagger	15-30	50 Muscle	1-handed knife	+10 Othello Skill
Pener's drumstick	15-30	35 Muscle	1-handed club	+20 Hot Damage Combat Initiative +20% +5% Chance of Critical Hit Sets opponents on fire
pipe wrench	15-30	60 Muscle	1-handed club	Weapon Damage +8
pygmy concertinette	15-30	60 Moxie	1-handed accordion	Weapon Damage +10 Enables casting of 17-turn Accordion Thief buffs Bonus for ATs only
rainbow crossbow	15-30	60 Moxie	1-handed crossbow	+5 Spooky Damage +5 Stench Damage +5 Hot Damage +5 Cold Damage +5 Sleaze Damage
spectral axe	15-30	50 Muscle	1-handed axe	+15 Cold Damage +30 Damage vs. Ghosts
star spatula	15-30	60 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +15
vibrating cyborg knife	15-30	55 Muscle	1-handed sword	Weapon Damage +20 3x Fumble Chance
witty rapier	15-30	60 Muscle	1-handed sword	+2 Stat Gains from Fights (Myst substat only)
world's smallest violin	15-30	60 Moxie	1-handed violin	Ranged Damage +5 +5% Meat from Monsters +5 to Monster Level
broken sword	14-27	52 Muscle	1-handed sword	Slight Spooky Resistance
crowbar	14-28	55 Muscle	1-handed club	Combat Initiative +25%
frozen seal spine	14-28	55 Muscle	1-handed club	+20 Cold Damage Regenerate 5-10 HP per adventure Regenerate 5-10 MP per adventure Bonus for Seal Clubbers only
gatorskin umbrella	14-28	100 Muscle	1-handed umbrella	Serious Stench Resistance Weapon Damage +15
rave whistle	14-27	52 Moxie	1-handed whistle	Maximum HP +10 +10 Monster Level
silver cheese-slicer	14-28	55 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +10%
silver paté knife	14-28	55 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	+5% chance of Spell Critical Hit
star boomerang	14-27	52 Moxie	1-handed boomerang	Moxie +5
star stiletto	14-27	52 Muscle	1-handed knife	Muscle +5
bastard baster	13-25	47 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +20%
battery-powered drill	13-25	47 Muscle	1-handed drill	Spell Damage +100% Maximum HP +50 Maximum MP +50 +10 to Monster Level +10% Meat from Monsters
beaver spear	13-25	47 Muscle	1-handed spear	Muscle +5 Weapon Damage +10
crazy bastard sword	13-25	25 Muscle	1-handed sword	An ultra-rare item +6 Extra PvP Fights Weapon Damage +15 +10% Chance of Critical Hit
curmudgel	13-25	47 Muscle	1-handed club	Monster Level +8 Weapon Damage +10
eldritch hammer	13-25	47 Muscle	1-handed hammer	Maximum MP +40 Monster Level +10 Weapon Damage +50%
hand-carved bokken	13-26	30 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +5% Weapon Damage +15 +5% Chance of Critical Hit
huge mosquito proboscis	13-25	47 Muscle	1-handed spear	Regenerate 8-12 HP per adventure Maximum HP +20
leechknife	13-25	47 Muscle	1-handed knife	Maximum HP +10 Maximum MP +5 Regenerate 4-6 HP and MP per adventure
oil pan	13-26	47 Mysticality	1-handed saucepan	Mysticality +10% Enables the casting of 12-turn Sauceror buffs
titanium assault umbrella	13-26	50 Muscle	1-handed umbrella	Slight Resistance to All Elements
VYKEA hex key	13-25	47 Muscle	1-handed club	All Attributes +6 Regenerate 6 HP per Adventure Regenerate 6 MP per Adventure Weapon Damage +6
bone crusher	12-24	45 Muscle	1-handed club	+30 Damage vs. Skeletons
carrot-on-a-stick	12-24	45 Moxie	1-handed flail	Moxie +7 +50% Candy Drops from Monsters
elevenderizing hammer	12-23	11 Muscle	1-handed club	All Attributes +11 Weapon Damage +11
fiberglass foil	12-24	40 Muscle	1-handed sword	+3 Muscle Stat(s) Per Fight +10 to Monster Level Deals damage and restores some MP at the beginning of each fight 2018 TT HC Standard reward
gummi sword	12-24	45 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +7 +50% Candy Drops from Monsters
half-melted spoon	12-23	42 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +10 +10 Damage to Hot Spells
Jacob's rung	12-24	45 Mysticality	1-handed staff	Maximum MP +15 Spell Damage +15
lupine sword	12-23	42 Muscle	1-handed sword	+9 Spooky Damage +9 additional Spooky Damage if a snarling wolf shield is equipped
old school Mafia knicke½æ	12-23	41 Mysticality	1-handed sword	Ranged Damage +27
porcelain police baton	12-24	40 Muscle	1-handed club	Part of the Ceramic Suit Maximum MP +20 Muscle +20% Your Smacks Restore MP
potato pistol	12-24	45 Moxie	1-handed pistol	Moxie +5 +5 Sleaze Damage
Ruby Rod	12-24	40 Muscle	1-handed rod	Used in the Future quest
serpentine sword	12-23	42 Muscle	1-handed sword	Monster Level +10 Monster Level +10 more if wielded with a snake shield
silver shrimp fork	12-24	45 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +14 Weapon Damage +5 Increased adventures and stats when eating pr0n cocktails
Sword of Dark Omens	12-24	None	1-handed sword	Prismatic Damage +3 Spell Damage +50% All Attributes +5%
wrought-iron whisk	12-24	40 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	+10 Spooky Damage +10 to Monster Level Adds many additional balls to Salsaball 2017 SR HC Standard reward
ghostly dagger	11-22	40 Muscle	1-handed knife	Slight Resistance to All Elements (+1) Damage Reduction: 11 Weapon Damage -10
haunted paddle-ball	11-22	40 Moxie	1-handed flail	+5 to Monster Level +10 Spooky Damage
hawk	11-22	40 Muscle	1-handed saw	+5% Chance of Critical Hit Weapon Damage +11 +22% Damage vs. Skeletons
iron pasta spoon	11-22	40 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +10
machetito	11-22	40 Muscle	1-handed sword	Weapon Damage +9
mannequin leg	11-22	40 Muscle	1-handed club	+20 Sleaze Damage Moxie +5 Bonus for Seal Clubbers only
wicker sticker	11-22	None	1-handed knife	Part of Wicker Wear Weapon Damage +20% +4 PvP fight(s) per day when equipped. Is a sweet, sweet knife
bamboo bokuto	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed sword
barrel gun	10-20	35 Moxie	1-handed pistol	Weapon Damage +25%
Bonestabber	10-20	None	1-handed sword	Serious Spooky Resistance (+3) +10 Spooky Damage +5 to Monster Level +30% Damage vs. Skeletons
bottle-rocket crossbow	10-20	None	1-handed crossbow	Moxie +15% +15% Meat from Monsters +10% Item Drops from Monsters Shoots bottle-rockets Cannot equip in Hardcore
can of fake snow	10-20	35 Moxie	1-handed can	Part of the Arboreal Raiment +5 Cold Damage
candlestick	10-20	None	1-handed wand	+2 Mysticality Stat(s) Per Fight Mysticality +100% This item will disappear at the end of the day
chocolate cow bone	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed club	+30% Candy Drops from Monsters Candilicious Smacks!
duck-on-a-string	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed flail	Weapon Damage +5 +5% Items from Monsters
elf ploughshare	10-20	None	1-handed sword	Maximum HP/MP +30
elven tambourine	10-20	None	1-handed rattle	So-So Resistance to All Elements (+2)
elven whittling knife	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed knife	Does extra damage on criticals
exclusive club	10-20	None	1-handed club	It's very exclusive!
flaming juggler's balls	10-20	None	1-handed euphemisms	+10 Hot Damage +2 Stat Gains from Fights Cannot equip in Hardcore
Frankly Mr. Shank	10-20	None	1-handed knife	Disco Bandit Combat Skills weaken enemies by an additional 25% +5 Smithsness Moxie +X (based on Smithsness) Bonus for DBs only
haiku katana	10-20	None	1-handed sword	Muscle +15% Weapon Damage +50% +5% Chance of Critical Hit Allows use of The 17 Cuts, Falling Leaf Whirlwind, Spring Raindrop Attack, Summer Siesta, Winter's Bite Technique in combat Cannot equip in Hardcore
Hand that Rocks the Ladle	10-20	None	1-handed utensil	Prismatic Damage +5 +5 Smithsness Mysticality +X% Eminently Twistable (PM only)
ice nine	10-20	None	1-handed pistol	+10% Chance of Critical Hit Regenerate 10-20 HP and MP per adventure +30% Meat from Monsters +5 PvP fight(s) per day when equipped.
ice sickle	10-20	None	1-handed knife	Monster Level +15 +5 Cold Damage Cannot equip in Hardcore
iFlail	10-20	35 Moxie	1-handed flail	+11 to Monster Level +5 to Familiar Weight Monsters will be less attracted to you.
infernal toilet brush	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed club	+20 Stench Damage Maximum HP +20 Maximum MP +20 Bonus for Seal Clubbers only
kiwi beak	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed sword	+25% Food Drops from Monsters +25% Booze Drops from Monsters
knife	10-20	None	1-handed knife	+50% Meat from Monsters Moxie +100% Item disappears at the end of the day
lead pipe	10-20	None	1-handed club	Maximum HP +50 Muscle +100%
lightning rod	10-20	None	1-handed staff	Spell Damage +200% Maximum MP +50 Regenerate 5-10 MP per adventure Disappears at the end of day
Loathing Legion double prism	10-20	None	1-handed prism	+2 Spooky Damage +2 Stench Damage +2 Hot Damage +2 Cold Damage +2 Sleaze Damage Cannot be equipped in Hardcore
Loathing Legion hammer	10-20	None	1-handed hammer	Gets the job done Cannot be equipped in Hardcore
macroplane grater	10-20	35 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +10%
madius	10-20	36 Muscle	1-handed sword	Part of the Gladiatorial Glad Rags +7 to Monster Level
Mafia violin case	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed club	Prize from the Penguin Mafia Mystery Raffle Muscle +20 Weapon Damage +30
Meat Tenderizer is Murder	10-20	None	1-handed club	Weapon Damage +20% +5 Smithsness Muscle +X% (+% to Muscle Based on Smithsness) 25% chance to gain an extra gallon of Fury when you gain a gallon of Fury. (SC only)
origami riding crop	10-20	None	1-handed crop	+10 Sleaze Damage Combat Initiative +15% Has a chat effect Cannot equip in Hardcore
oversized pizza cutter	10-20	35 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +13
papier-mâchéte	10-20	20 Muscle	1-handed sword	Weapon Damage +10 All Attributes +15% Makes actions more exciting
papier-mâchine gun	10-20	20 Moxie	1-handed pistol	Ranged Damage +10 All Attributes +15% Makes actions more exciting
Periodical Paintbrush	10-20	None	1-handed artsything	A prize item given to winners of the first calendar art contest All Attributes +0-25% Boost based on Grimace darkness Cannot equip in Hardcore
prehistoric spear	10-20	35 Moxie	1-handed throwing spear	+5% Chance of Critical Hit
Rain-Doh yellow laser gun	10-20	None	1-handed pistol	Successful hit weakens opponent Super Accurate!
reindeer hammer	10-20	None	1-handed club	All Attributes +10
reindeer sickle	10-20	None	1-handed claw	Successful hit causes bleeding.
revolver	10-20	None	1-handed pistol	+2 Moxie Stat(s) Per Fight Combat Initiative +50%
right bear arm	10-20	None	1-handed club	+10% Muscle Weapon Damage +30% Lets you act like a bear
roboduck-on-a-string	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed flail	Weapon Damage +5 +5% Items from Monsters
rusted-out shootin' iron	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed club	+10% Meat from Monsters Ranged Damage +50 Monsters will be less attracted to you.
Saucepanic	10-20	None	1-handed saucepan	+2 Mysticality Stat(s) Per Fight +5 Smithsness Mysticality +X% (+% to Mysticality Based on Smithsness) Lets you gather more Soulsauce Enables the casting of 15-turn Sauceror buffs (Bonus for Saucerors only)
scratch 'n' sniff crossbow	10-20	None	1-handed crossbow	Actual power can vary with player level Enchantments can be added with stickers
scratch 'n' sniff sword	10-20	None	1-handed sword	Actual power can vary with player level Enchantments can be added with stickers
sewage-clogged pistol	10-20	35 Moxie	1-handed pistol	+10 to Monster Level +20 Stench Damage
Shakespeare's Sister's Accordion	10-20	None	1-handed accordion	-1 MP to use Skills +5% Chance of Critical Hit +5 Smithsness Moxie +X (based on Smithsness) Has a cool Cadenza Enables casting of 15-turn Accordion Thief buffs Bonus for ATs only
sharpened spoon	10-20	20 Muscle	1-handed knife
Sheila Take a Crossbow	10-20	None	1-handed crossbow	Regenerate 1-2 HP and MP per adventure +5% Pickpocket Chance +5 Smithsness Combat Initiative +X% (+Initiative based on Smithsness)
shooting morning star	10-20	None	1-handed flail	Part of the Meteor Masquerade Muscle +15% +15 Hot Damage Successful hit weakens opponent
silent pea shooter	10-20	35 Moxie	1-handed slingshot	+10 Sleaze Damage +5 Monster Level
Sneaky Pete's basket	10-20	None	1-handed basket	Quest item in an AoSP run Moxie +5 Combat Initiative +10% +10% Item Drops from Monsters
soul knife	10-20	None	1-handed knife	Can harm True Mimes
space heater	10-20	35 Moxie	1-handed pistol	+12 Hot Damage So-So Cold Resistance (+2)
space needle	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed sword	Weapon Damage +10 So-So Spooky Resistance (+2)
Space Tourist Phaser	10-20	35 Moxie	1-handed pistol	This Phaser is set to Fun
spant spear	10-20	20 Muscle	1-handed spear	Part of the Spant Armor +All Attributes +10% Weapon Damage +25%
spiked femur	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed club	+6 Spooky Damage
Spooky Putty ball	10-20	None	1-handed superball	+10 Spooky Damage On critical, may ricochet up to three times, each doing 10-20 physical and 10 Spooky Damage
Staff of Ed (Actually Ed the Undying)	10-20	None	1-handed staff	Quest item Mysticality +25% Spell Damage +25% Regenerate 2-6 MP per adventure +5 Pool Skill
steel sword	10-20	20 Muscle	1-handed sword	Weapon Damage +15 Regenerate 2-4 HP per adventure Moxie +5
stinky cheese sword	10-20	None	1-handed sword	Stench Damage based on number of adventures stunk up May not be equipped in Hardcore
sugar shank	10-20	None	1-handed knife	Weapon Damage +50% Passive Damage on critical Breaks after 30 combats
sugar shotgun	10-20	None	1-handed pistol	Weapon Damage +50% Stunning on critical Breaks after 30 combats
Super Magic Power Sword X	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +4 Combat Initiative +20% +5% Chance of Critical Hit
Thor's Pliers	10-20	None	1-handed pliers	+4 Stat(s) Per Fight Lets You Smith and Make Jewelry Faster Regenerate 6-9 MP per adventure +20% Pickpocket Chance Regular Attacks Can't Miss Allows You to Ply Reality Regenerates Lightning Power (in Heavy Rains only)
time sword	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed sword	Part of the Time Trappings +3 Extra Rollover Adventures
tin foil	10-20	None	1-handed sword	Muscle +10% Weapon Damage +10% +1 Muscle Stat(s) Per Fight
Tropical Crimbo Sword	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed sword	Part of the Tropical Crimbo Duds Weapon Damage +5
vampire duck-on-a-string	10-20	35 Muscle	1-handed flail	Weapon Damage +5 +5% Items from Monsters
Work is a Four Letter Sword	10-20	None	1-handed sword	Regenerate 4-6 HP per adventure +5% Chance of Critical Hit +5 Smithsness Weapon Damage +X (+Damage based on Smithsness)
wrench	10-20	None	1-handed utensil	Maximum MP +50 Spell Damage +100% Item will disappear at the end of the day
17-alarm Saucepan	9-18	15 Mysticality	1-handed saucepan	Mysticality +11 +15 Damage to Hot Spells S' Legendary Epic Weapon Enables the casting of 15-turn Sauceror buffs Bonus for Ss only
ancient stone fist	9-17	27 Muscle	1-handed club	Damage Reduction: 2 Maximum HP +20
anger blaster	9-17	30 Moxie	1-handed forearm replacement	+10 Hot Damage
Cerebral Crossbow	9-18	30 Moxie	1-handed crossbow	Part of the Encephalic Ensemble +3 Cold Damage +3 Spooky Damage +3 Sleaze Damage
Chelonian Morningstar	9-18	15 Muscle	1-handed flail	Muscle +11 Never Fumble TT's Legendary Epic Weapon Enables the casting of 15-turn TT buffs Bonus for TTs only
contract enforcement stick	9-18	30 Muscle	1-handed club	+4% Chance of Critical Hit Muscle +5%
debonair deboner	9-18	30 Muscle	1-handed club	Moxie +10 +25% Damage vs. Skeletons
depleted Grimacite kneecapping stick	9-18	30 Muscle	1-handed club	+ceil(Grimace darkness/2)% Chance of Critical Hit
doubt cannon	9-17	30 Moxie	1-handed forearm replacement	Successful hit weakens opponent Grants skill Doubt Shackles
elegant nightstick	9-18	30 Muscle	1-handed club	Maximum HP +30 Maximum MP +15
fear condenser	9-17	30 Moxie	1-handed forearm replacement	+10 Spooky Damage Grants skill Fear Vapor
grass whistle	9-18	35 Moxie	1-handed whistle	Moxie +6 Regenerate 4-6 MP per adventure
Greek Pasta Spoon of Peril	9-18	15 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Mysticality +11 Combat Initiative +25% Food Drops +10% P's Legendary Epic Weapon Bonus for Ps only
Hammer of Smiting	9-18	15 Muscle	1-handed club	Muscle +16 +7% Chance of Critical Hit SC's Legendary Epic Weapon Bonus for SCs only
huge spoon	9-18	30 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +10
kneecapping stick	9-18	30 Muscle	1-handed club	+8% Chance of Critical Hit
magic whistle	9-17	27 Moxie	1-handed whistle	+4 Monster Level +1 Familiar Weight
plasma rifle	9-18	None	1-handed rifle	Quest item, Spelunky only Ranged Damage +20
regret hose	9-17	30 Moxie	1-handed forearm replacement	Grants skill Tear Wave +10 Cold Damage
stainless steel shillelagh	9-18	30 Muscle	1-handed club	Weapon Damage +20 +10% Chance of Critical Hit Muscle +15% SC's HC reward
vorpal blade	9-18	30 Muscle	1-handed sword	Part of the Yendorian Finery +8% Chance of Critical Hit
broken beer bottle	8-15	10 Muscle	1-handed knife
candy stick	8-16	25 Mysticality	1-handed staff	Spell Damage +50% +40% Candy Drops from Monsters
chopsticks	8-15	23 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Combat Initiative +20% Spell Damage +12
clockwork crossbow	8-16	25 Moxie	1-handed crossbow	Ranged Damage +10 +7% Chance of Critical Hit Weakens Monster on Critical hit
corrupt club of corrupt corruption	8-16	25 Muscle	1-handed club	Bonus for Seal Clubbers only Weapon Damage +9 Player loses 5 HP at end of combat
crystalline reamer	8-15	22 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +10
grass blade	8-16	25 Muscle	1-handed sword	Part of the Grass Guise Weapon Damage +5
Knob Goblin melon baller	8-16	25 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +8
lead yo-yo	8-16	25 Moxie	1-handed yo-yo
logging hatchet	8-15	22 Muscle	1-handed axe	Weapon Damage +5
Meteoid ice beam	8-16	25 Moxie	1-handed gun	+20 Cold Damage +2% chance of Critical Hit On Critical: Freeze Opponent
pitchfork	8-15	22 Muscle	1-handed spear	Weapon Damage +7
pixel morning star	8-15	22 Muscle	1-handed whip	All Attributes +5
quantum disintegrator pistol	8-15	22 Moxie	1-handed pistol	+15% Damage vs. Bugbears
savory sword	8-16	25 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +4
severed flipper	8-16	25 Muscle	1-handed club	Muscle +5 Weapon Damage +5 Bonus for Seal Clubbers only
spooky bicycle chain	8-16	25 Muscle	1-handed flail	+5 Spooky Damage +5% Chance of Critical Hit
sword of static	8-15	22 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Moxie +2 Regenerate 2-4 MP per Adventure
swordzall	8-16	25 Muscle	1-handed sword	Weapon Damage +8 Maximum MP +10
ultimate ultimate frisbee	8-15	22 Moxie	1-handed frisbee	Moxie +2 Ranged Damage +4
accord ion	7-14	20 Moxie	1-handed accordion	+5 Hot Damage Enables casting of 10-turn Accordion Thief buffs Bonus for ATs only
double-barreled sling	7-14	20 Moxie	1-handed sling	+5 Sleaze Damage Slight Cold Resistance
finger cymbals	7-13	17 Moxie	1-handed cymbals	Maximum MP +20
flaming cardboard sword	7-14	20 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Weapon Damage +3 +3 Hot Damage
Frost™ brand sword	7-14	20 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Monster Level +3 +3 Cold Damage
gnawed-up dog bone	7-14	20 Muscle	1-handed club	+5 to Familiar Weight +1 Familiar Experience Per Combat
grease gun	7-13	17 Moxie	1-handed pistol	Moxie +3 Weapon Damage +3 +3 Sleaze Damage
hippy bongo	7-14	20 Moxie	1-handed drum	+5 Stench Damage
Orcish frat-paddle	7-14	20 Muscle	1-handed club	Part of the Frat Boy Ensemble +4 Sleaze Damage
slide rule	7-13	17 Muscle	1-handed sword	Mysticality +5% Combat Initiative +10%
boxing glove on a spring	6-11	12 Moxie	1-handed club	Moxie +3 Weapon Damage +4 Combat Initiative +10%
bubblewrap sword	6-12	15 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Moxie +2
cardboard sword	6-12	15 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Weapon Damage +3
diamond-studded cane	6-12	15 Muscle	1-handed club	Moxie +5 Bonus for DBs only
filthy pestle	6-12	15 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +7
flaming crutch	6-12	15 Muscle	1-handed club	+3 Hot Damage
knob bugle	6-12	15 Moxie	1-handed horn	Successful hit weakens opponent
muculent machete	6-12	15 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +2 +5% Meat from Monsters
ratarang	6-12	15 Moxie	1-handed boomerang	Ranged Damage +7 Moxie +3 Pickpocketed item
sabre teeth	6-12	15 Muscle	1-handed knife	Weapon Damage +4
shotgun	6-12	None	1-handed	Quest item, Spelunky only Ranged Damage +10
styrofoam sword	6-12	15 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Monster Level +3
5-Alarm Saucepan	5-10	10 Mysticality	1-handed saucepan	Mysticality +7 S' Epic Weapon Enables the casting of 10-turn Sauceror buffs (all classes) Bonus for Ss only
aerogel accordion	5-10	None	1-handed accordion	Moxie +10 Maximum HP +20 Enables the casting of 10-turn Accordion Thief buffs (all classes) 2017 AT SC Standard reward
astral mace	5-10	None	1-handed club	Muscle +25% Weapon Damage +20 +5 Extra PvP Fights
astral pistol	5-10	None	1-handed pistol	Moxie +25% Ranged Damage +20 +4 PvP fight(s) per day when equipped
balloon sword	5-10	10 Muscle	1-handed sword	Never Fumble Weapon Damage -2
basic meat spork	5-9	7 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Muscle +3 Weapon Damage +3
Bjorn's Hammer	5-10	10 Muscle	1-handed club	Muscle +10 SC's Epic Weapon Bonus for SCs only
blammer	5-10	None	1-handed club	+7% chance of Critical Hit Successful hit weakens opponent
blunt icepick	5-10	None	1-handed club	+15 Cold Damage
boot knife	5-10	None	1-handed knife
butterfly knife	5-10	10 Muscle	1-handed knife	Moxie +6
can of maces	5-10	10 Moxie	1-handed club	Weapon Damage +2 Slight Sleaze Resistance
cheap plastic kazoo	5-10	10 Moxie	1-handed kazoo	+10 to Monster Level
clock-cleaning hammer	5-10	None	1-handed club	Weapon Damage +20
curdflinger	5-9	7 Moxie	1-handed crossbow	Moxie +3 Successful hit weakens opponent
deadfall branch	5-10	15 Muscle	1-handed club	Mysticality +10% Weapon Damage +10% +1 Adventure(s) per day when equipped +1 Extra PvP Fight(s)
dripping meat sword	5-10	10 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +2
fluorescent lightbulb	5-10	None	1-handed club	Maximum MP +30
glow-in-the-dark dart gun	5-10	None	1-handed pistol	Moxie +(9 - light) +2x (9 - light) Ranged Damage Super Accurate!
Hammerus	5-10	None	1-handed club	+15 Spooky Damage
iron dagger	5-10	None	1-handed knife	Muscle +3 +10 Spell Damage +5% Item drops from Monsters
Knob Goblin deluxe scimitar	5-10	10 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +5
law-abiding citizen cane	5-10	None	1-handed club	+5 Maximum Hooch
Mace of the Tortoise	5-10	10 Muscle	1-handed mace	Muscle +7 TT's Epic Weapon Enables the casting of 10-turn TT buffs (all classes) Bonus for TTs only
mercenary pistol	5-10	10 Moxie	1-handed pistol	All Attributes +10 Never Fumble Allows the Use of Specialty Ammunition
Pasta Spoon of Peril	5-10	10 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Mysticality +7 Combat Initiative +15% P's Epic Weapon Bonus for Ps only
pestoblade	5-10	10 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 +3 Stench Damage
pixel boomerang	5-10	10 Moxie	1-handed boomerang	+5% Items from Monsters
pixel chain whip	5-10	10 Muscle	1-handed whip	All Attributes +4
pixel sword	5-10	10 Muscle	1-handed sword	Part of the 8-Bit Finery Combat Initiative +15%
poison pen	5-10	None	1-handed knife	75% chance of poisoning opponent
polyester peeler	5-10	None	1-handed utensil	Part of the Synthetic Suit Spell Damage +20% Regenerate 2-4 MP per adventure Increases the Damage of Stuffed Mortar Shell
pottery club	5-10	None	1-handed club	+5 Hot Damage
pottery yo-yo	5-10	None	1-handed yo-yo	+5 Hot Damage
sucker tachi	5-10	None	1-handed weapon	Weapon Damage +10
tambourine	5-10	10 Moxie	1-handed drum	Maximum HP +20 Maximum MP +20
toy Crimbot power glove	5-10	None	1-handed knuckles	Part of the Crimbot Crimboutfit Weapon Damage +15 +1 Crimbot Outfit Power Allows use of ZAP in combat
Unionize The Elves sign	5-10	10 Muscle	1-handed club	Successful hit weakens opponent No longer drops
warbear oil pan	5-10	None	1-handed saucepan	+10 Damage to Hot Spells +10 Damage to Sleaze Spells Lets you sling hot grease!
wooden spoon	5-10	10 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +5
corrupt club of corruption	4-8	5 Muscle	1-handed club	Weapon Damage +5 Player loses 3 HP at end of combat Bonus for Seal Clubbers only
Dr. Hobo's scalpel	4-7	2 Muscle	1-handed knife	Weapon Damage +3 +1 Stench Damage
dreadlock whip	4-8	5 Muscle	1-handed whip	+5 Sleaze Damage +5 Stench Damage Monster Level +10
Gnollish flyswatter	4-7	2 Muscle	1-handed club
Gnollish plunger	4-7	2 Muscle	1-handed spear
ironic battle spoon	4-8	5 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +10
jack flapper	4-7	2 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +5
plastic replica blaster pistol	4-8	None	1-handed pistol	Combat Initiative +20% Ranged Damage +20 This item disappears at the end of the day
sealhide whip	4-7	2 Muscle	1-handed whip	+25 Cold Damage
starchy crossbow	4-8	5 Moxie	1-handed crossbow	Moxie +3
starchy sword	4-8	5 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3
suede shortsword	4-8	5 Muscle	1-handed sword
western-style skinning knife	4-8	5 Muscle	1-handed knife	Weapon Damage +5 +10% Hat/Pants Drops from Monsters
white sword	4-8	5 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +2
Bananubis's Staff	3-6	None	1-handed	Quest item, Spelunky only -6 Luck Raise Skeleton Buddies
bat whip	3-6	None	1-handed whip	Spell Damage +10 Monster Level +5
boomerang	3-6	None	1 handed-boomerang	Quest item, Spelunky only Successful hit weakens opponent
bone rattle	3-6	None	1-handed rattle	+4 Spooky Damage
breadwand	3-5	None	1-handed wand	Spell Damage +3
cardboard katana	3-6	None	1-handed sword	Weapon Damage +3 Weapon Damage +20 more if dual-wielded with a cardboard wakizashi
cardboard wakizashi	3-6	None	1-handed sword	Damage Reduction: 4 gives the cardboard katana 20 more Weapon Damage when dual-wielded
cheap plastic blowgun	3-5	None	1-handed blowgun	50% chance of poisoning opponent
cheap plastic bottle opener	3-6	None	1-handed utensil	+2 Sleaze Damage
Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife	3-6	None	1-handed knife	Restore 0-2 MP on successful hit
eggbeater	3-5	None	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +2
electric crutch	3-6	None	1-handed staff	Spell Damage +30
evil paper umbrella	3-6	None	1-handed umbrella	+1 Monster Level
Gnollish slotted spoon	3-5	None	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +3
halfberd	3-6	None	1-handed polearm	Weapon Damage +2
huge mirror shard	3-6	None	1-handed knife	Weapon Damage +5
Knob Goblin spatula	3-6	None	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +4
little paper umbrella	3-6	None	1-handed umbrella	Spell Damage +1
obsidian dagger	3-6	10 Muscle	1-handed knife	+3 Spooky Damage +3 Stench Damage +3 Hot Damage +3 Cold Damage +3 Sleaze Damage
palm-frond whip	3-5	None	1-handed whip	Part of the Palmist Paraphernalia Weapon Damage +30 Can break in combat
parasitic claw	3-6	None	1-handed club	Part of the Mutant Couture Weapon Damage +player level (capped at 15), or 2x player level with Yuletide Mutations
portable corkscrew	3-6	None	1-handed utensil	Weapon Damage +3 Spell Damage +3
rattail whip	3-6	None	1-handed whip	Moxie +5 Monster Level +5
rubber band gun	3-6	None	1-handed pistol	Moxie +5
rubber spatula	3-5	None	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +2
sewer snake	3-6	None	1-handed flail	+3 Stench Damage
shiny butcherknife	3-6	None	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +5
skeleton bone	3-6	None	1-handed club	+1 Spooky Damage
spork	3-6	None	1-handed utensil	Muscle +2
sturdy machete	3-6	None	1-handed sword	Quest item, Spelunky only Weapon Damage +5
tail o' nine cats	3-6	None	1-handed whip	Combat Initiative +15% Monster Level +5
throwing wrench	3-6	None	1-handed club	Delevels on hit
trusty torch	3-6	None	1-handed club	+3 Hot Damage
trusty whip	3-6	None	1-handed whip	Quest item, Spelunky only
Wand of Nagamar	3-6	None	1-handed wand
asparagus knife	2-3	None	1-handed knife	+1 Stench Damage
bonerang	2-4	None	1-handed boomerang	+10 Damage vs. Skeletons
boning knife	2-4	None	1-handed knife	+10 Damage vs. Skeletons
club of corruption	2-4	None	1-handed club	Weapon Damage +3 Player loses 1 HP at end of combat Bonus for Seal Clubbers only
corn holder	2-4	None	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +1
cap gun	2-4	None	1-handed pistol	Base Muscle Limited to 200 Base Mysticality Limited to 200 Base Moxie Limited to 200 Bang Bang! (Grants skill Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!)
dented harmonica	2-4	None	1-handed horn	Mysticality +1
dishrag	2-4	None	1-handed whip	+3 Stench Damage
fouet de tortue-dressage	2-4	None	1-handed whip	+10 to Familiar Weight +10 to Familiar Damage
gnauga hide whip	2-4	None	1-handed whip	Part of the Gnauga Hides +3% Items from Monsters
Gnollish pie server	2-4	None	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +3
hippo whip	2-4	None	1-handed whip	Monster Level +10
Knob Goblin scimitar	2-3	None	1-handed sword	Muscle +1
Knob Goblin tongs	2-4	None	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +2
penguin whip	2-4	None	1-handed whip	+3% Meat from Monsters
remaindered axe	2-4	None	1-handed club	Muscle +2 Weapon Damage +2
scorpion whip	2-4	None	1-handed whip	Weapon Damage +13 50% chance of poisoning opponent
space beast fur whip	2-4	None	1-handed whip	Part of the Space Beast Furs Damage Reduction: 5
sweet ninja sword	2-4	None	1-handed sword
tiny ninja sword	2-4	None	1-handed sword	Moxie +1
wumpus-hair whip	2-3	None	1-handed whip	Part of the Wumpus-Hair Wardrobe +2 Spooky Damage +2 Stench Damage +2 Hot Damage +2 Cold Damage +2 Sleaze Damage
yak whip	2-4	None	1-handed whip	Successful hit weakens opponent
airblaster gun	1-2	None	1-handed pistol	Gives skill Air Blast in combat
bar whip	1-2	None	1-handed whip	+2 to Familiar Weight
bucket of anniversary lard	1-2	None	1-handed flail	All Attributes +1
candy knuckles	1-2	None	1-handed knuckles	Weapon Damage +25 Breaks after 31 combats
can-you-dig-it?	1-2	None	1-handed spade	+???
chisel	1-2	None	1-handed knife
clown hammer	1-2	None	1-handed club	Squeaky!
clown whip	1-2	None	1-handed whip	So-So Sleaze Resistance
cool whip	1-2	None	1-handed whip
costume sword	1-2	None	1-handed sword	Weapon Damage -10 Combat Initiative +30%
demon whip	1-2	None	1-handed whip	+3 Hot Damage +3 Sleaze Damage +3 Stench Damage
disco ball	1-2	None	1-handed disco ball
hilarious comedy prop	1-2	None	1-handed club	Regenerate 4-6 HP and MP per adventure
lavalarva	1-2	None	1-handed whip	+30 Hot Damage Stupendous Cold Resistance (+4) +10 to Monster Level
licorice whip	1-2	None	1-handed whip	+5% Chance of Critical Hit Candiful Crits
live wire	1-2	None	1-handed whip	Weapon Damage +3 Regenerate 2-3 MP per adventure
Mayor Ghost's gavel	1-2	None	1-handed club	+10% Chance of Critical Hit Weapon Damage +30 +50 Damage vs. Ghosts Grants skill Hammer Ghost
Murderbot whip	1-2	30 Muscle	1-handed whip	Weapon Damage +10 +10% chance of Critical Hit Deals 1,000 extra damage on critical hit
The Necbromancer's Wizard Staff	1-2	200 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Spell Damage +200% +30 Damage to Sleaze Spells Regenerate 20-30 MP per Adventure Can be jiggled in combat to do Sleaze Damage and delevel
pasta spoon	1-2	None	1-handed utensil
pixel whip	1-2	None	1-handed whip	All Attributes +3
rope	1-2	None	1-handed whip	+2 Muscle Stat(s) Per Fight +10 to Familiar Weight
saucepan	1-2	None	1-handed saucepan	Enables the casting of 5-turn Sauceror buffs (all classes)
seal-clubbing club	1-2	None	1-handed club
Spelunker's whip	1-2	None	1-handed whip	Part of Spelunker's Gear Weapon Damage +25% +10% Item Drops from Monsters +5 to Familiar Weight
Spooky Putty snake	1-2	None	1-handed chefstaff	Bonus Spell Damage +50% +20 Damage to Spooky Spells Regenerate 6-8 MP per adventure Can be jiggled once per combat to do 25% of the enemy's remaining HP in Spooky Damage
Staff of Blood and Pudding	1-2	15 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Spell Damage +25% Maximum HP +15 Regenerate 2-3 MP per Adventure Can be jiggled in combat to steal and restore HP
Staff of Fruit Salad	1-2	None	1-handed chefstaff	Quest item only in AoJ run Spell Damage +10 Moxie +10 Regenerate 2-3 MP per adventure Jiggle: Deal some Prismatic damage
Staff of Holiday Sensations	1-2	75 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Spell Damage +75% +15 Damage to Cold Spells Regenerate 5-6 MP per adventure
Staff of Queso Escusado	1-2	None	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Bonus Spell Damage +50% +20 Damage to Stench Spells Regenerate 6-8 MP per adventure Can be jiggled once per combat to do Stench Damage May not be equipped in Hardcore
Staff of Simmering Hatred	1-2	125 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Part of the Hateful Habiliment Regenerate 20-30 MP per adventure Reduce enemy defense by 10% Spell Damage +200%
Staff of the All-Steak	1-2	50 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Quest item only in AoJ run Spell Damage +50% Damage Reduction: 15 Regenerate 5-6 MP per adventure Jiggle: Massive Bonus to Item Drops (5 charges left today)
Staff of the Black Kettle	1-2	75 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Spell Damage +75% Mysticality +10 Regenerate 5-6 MP per adventure Can be jiggled in combat to do physical damage
Staff of the Cozy Fish	1-2	85 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Mysticality +15% Spell Damage +150% Makes you a much better diver
Staff of the Cream of the Cream	1-2	50 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Quest item Spell Damage +50% Moxie +30 Regenerate 5-6 MP per adventure Jiggle: Attune to Monster's Essence
Staff of the Deepest Freeze	1-2	200 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Spell Damage +200% +30 Damage to Cold Spells Regenerate 20-30 MP per Adventure Can be jiggled in combat to do Cold Damage
Staff of the Electric Range	1-2	75 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Spell Damage +50% +20 Damage to Spooky Spells Regenerate 8-10 MP per adventure
Staff of the Grand Flambé	1-2	125 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Spell Damage +150% Superhuman Cold Resistance Regenerate 8-10 MP per Adventure Can be jiggled in combat to do Hot Damage
Staff of the Grease Trap	1-2	125 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Spell Damage +150% +20 Damage to Sleaze Spells Regenerate 8-10 MP per Adventure Can be jiggled in combat to do Sleaze Damage
Staff of the Greasefire	1-2	20 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Spell Damage +35% +10 Damage to Hot Spells +10 Damage to Sleaze Spells Regenerate 3-4 MP per Adventure Can be jiggled in combat to do Hot Damage and Sleaze Damage
Staff of the Headmaster's Victuals	1-2	None	1-handed chefstaff	Regenerate 2-3 MP per adventure +5 Damage to Sleaze Spells +5 Smithsness +X Spell Damage (+Spell Damage based on Smithsness)
Staff of the Healthy Breakfast	1-2	None	1-handed chefstaff	Quest item only in AoJ run Spell Damage +10 Maximum HP +15 +10% Item Drops from Monsters Regenerate 2-4 MP per adventure Jiggle: Recover Some HP
Staff of the Hearty Dinner	1-2	None	1-handed chefstaff	Quest item only in AoJ run Spell Damage +10 Damage Reduction: 5 Regenerate 2-3 MP per adventure Jiggle: Weaken Bad Guy
Staff of the Kitchen Floor	1-2	125 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Spell Damage +150% +20 Damage to Stench Spells Regenerate 8-10 MP per Adventure Can be jiggled in combat to do Stench Damage
Staff of the Light Lunch	1-2	None	1-handed chefstaff	Quest item only in AoJ run Spell Damage +10 Combat Initiative +15% Regenerate 2-3 MP per adventure Jiggle: Deal Some Cold Damage
Staff of the Lunch Lady	1-2	75 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Quest item only in KOLHS run Spell Damage +75% Maximum HP/MP +15 Regenerate 5-6 MP per adventure +25% Food Drops from Monsters
Staff of the Midnight Snack	1-2	15 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Spell Damage +20% +10 Damage to Spooky Spells Regenerate 2-3 MP per Adventure Can be jiggled in combat to do Spooky Damage
Staff of the November Jack-O-Lantern	1-2	15 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Spell Damage +20% +10 Damage to Stench Spells Regenerate 2-3 MP per Adventure Can be jiggled in combat to do Stench Damage
Staff of the Roaring Hearth	1-2	250 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Spell Damage +250% +40 Damage to Hot Spells Regenerate 30-35 MP per adventure
Staff of the Scummy Sink	1-2	125 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Spell Damage +150% +20 Damage to Sleaze Spells Regenerate 8-10 HP per adventure Slime Hates It
Staff of the Short Order Cook	1-2	15 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Spell Damage +20% Mysticality +5 Regenerate 2-3 MP per Adventure Can be jiggled in combat to do physical damage
Staff of the Soupbone	1-2	75 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Bonus Spell Damage +75% Maximum MP +15 Regenerate 5-6 MP per adventure Can be jiggled once per combat to do Spooky Damage
Staff of the Staff of Life	1-2	50 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Quest item in AoJ run Spell Damage +50% Maximum HP +30 Regenerate 5-6 MP per adventure Regenerate 10-12 HP per adventure Jiggle: Full HP Recovery
Staff of the Standalone Cheese	1-2	50 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Quest item in AoJ run Spell Damage +50% Combat Initiative +30% Regenerate 5-6 MP per adventure Jiggle: Banish opponent for the rest of the day
Staff of the Teapot Tempest	1-2	25 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Spell Damage +25% Mysticality +5 Regenerate 3-4 MP per adventure Can be jiggled in combat to do physical damage
Staff of the Walk-In Freezer	1-2	125 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Spell Damage +150% +20 Damage to Cold Spells Regenerate 8-10 MP per Adventure Can be jiggled in combat to do Cold Damage
Staff of the Well-Tempered Cauldron	1-2	125 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Spell Damage +125% Mysticality +15 Regenerate 7-8 MP per adventure Can be jiggled in combat to do physical damage
Staff of the Woodfire	1-2	150 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Chefstaves can only be equipped with a special sauce glove (and as a Sauceror), having Spirit of Rigatoni or being an Avatar of Jarlsberg Bonus Spell Damage +100% +10 Mysticality Stat Gains from Fights Regenerate 5-15 MP per adventure Can be jiggled once per combat to do Spooky Damage and Hot Damage
sticky hand whip	1-2	None	1-handed whip	+5% Item Drops from Monsters +10% Pickpocket Chance +15% Meat from Monsters
stuffed club	1	None	1-handed club	Replaces sound effects
stuffed crazy bastard sword	1-2	None	1-handed sword
tiny plastic sword	1-2	None	1-handed sword	Moxie +1
toy taijijian	1-2	None	1-handed sword
turtle totem	1-2	None	1-handed totem	Enables the casting of 5-turn TT buffs (all classes)
twisted-up wet towel	1-2	None	1-handed whip	+25% Item Drops from Monsters (KoL High School zones only)
white whip	1-2	None	1-handed whip	+1 Stat Gains from Fights
KoL Con 12-gauge	0-0	None	1-handed shotgun	Maximum HP +12 Maximum MP +12
turtleslinger	N/A	None	1-handed slingshot	No longer available in game