Nurse shark

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Nurse shark
Monster ID 769
Locations The Dive Bar
Hit Points 800
Attack 450
Defense 405
Initiative 50
Meat 160-240
Phylum fish
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, fin, tail
blank prescription sheet, nurse's hat, sea salt scrubs, slug of rum
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
nurse shark You're fighting a nurse shark

This shark is the bane of the dive bar. He's been taking up space at the bar for the past three hours, but he's only halfway through his first drink. The rigors of interning at a fish hospital have driven him to drink, but he can't afford to really let loose.

Hit Message(s):

He breaks a bottle over your head, then licks the rest of the booze out of it. Er, 'it' being the bottle, not your head. Ugh! Ouch! Argh! Ouch! Argh!

He strangles you with the sleeve of his nursing scrubs. You're no superman, and it really hurts. Ooh! Ugh! Ugh! Eek! Ooh!

He gives you an emergency <nipple> - ectomy. Man, your insurance is never going to cover that. Ooh! Ow! Oof! Oof! Ugh!

He takes a tiny sip of his drink, then bites you in the <foot>. Oof! Ooh! Ow! Ugh! Eek!

He applies a tourniquet to your <ankle>. It starts to turn purple. Oof! Argh! Eek! Ooh! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

He gives you a sponge bath. The sponge he chooses for the job is none too happy about it, and punches you repeatedly during the procedure. Argh! Eek! Ouch! Ooh! Argh!

Miss Message(s):

He starts to break a bottle over your head, but stops to drink the last swallow of booze out of it.

He pauses to take a tiny sip from his drink.

Another patron at the bar makes a joke about male nurse sharks, and he has to go lay the smack down before returning to your fight.

You offer to buy him another drink as soon as he finishes his first one.

He tries to apply a tourniquet to you, but you remind him that tourniquet is not fair play

Fumble Message:

He tries to strangle you with his scrubs, but you make it clear that you don't want no scrubs. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 160-240 Meat (average: 200, stdev: 16.73)*
Whitecard.gifYou acquire an item: blank prescription sheet (10% chance)*
Nursehat.gifYou acquire an item: nurse's hat (5% chance)*
Scrubs.gifYou acquire an item: sea salt scrubs (5% chance)*
Slug.gifYou acquire an item: slug of rum (20% chance)*

Occurs at The Dive Bar



  • The fumble message is a reference to TLC's hit No Scrubs.
  • As the old adage goes, "turnabout is fair play," though tourniquet, according to the combat text, is not.
  • Drinking in tiny sips is also called "nursing" one's drink.
  • One of the hit messages refers to the Scrubs TV series' theme song, Superman, which contains the lyrics "I'm no Superman".