Mutant doll-dressing elf

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Mutant doll-dressing elf
Monster ID 748
Locations The Atomic Crimbo Toy Factory
Hit Points Scales with player stats
Attack Scales with player stats
Defense Scales with player stats
Initiative 75
Meat None
Phylum elf
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
Drops
cheap elven gloves
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
mutant doll-dressing elf You're fighting a mutant doll-dressing elf

This elf used to be in charge of dressing all the dolls to give to all the good little girls (and the good little boys whose parents weren't too tied down to traditional concepts of femininity and masculinity). After getting a dose of Grimacite radiation, he's grown a few extra limbs, which would probably help him dress the dolls even faster. Sadly, though, the radioactivity's gone to his mind, and the only thing he's interested in dressing is you down!

Hit Message(s):

He tries to pop your head off to put a tiny shirt on you. The damage is done before you can shout, "I'm not a doll!" Ugh! Argh! Argh!

He puts a little dress on you, then cackles thickly. Ow! Your feelings! Ow! Ooh! Eek!

He slashes you to ribbons, then uses the ribbons to do a doll's hair. Oof! Ooh! Ooh!

He picks up a doll and beats you with it. Hey, it's one of those fancy dolls that cries! No, wait, that's you. Ow! Eek! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

He carves off a big swatch of your skin and uses it to make a doll's dress. Wait, that's too gruesome for our game. Uh, you trip and fall down! Hilarious! Ouch! Eek! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

He puts a little dress on you, but it just seems right. Maybe a little too right.

He picks up a doll to beat you with it, but stops to fix the doll's wardrobe first.

He tries to pop your head off, but you point out that you're not a doll and your head isn't removable. Well, not *easily* removable.

He tries to slash you to ribbons, but you dodge.

Fumble Message:

He huddles in the corner, clutching his dolls and gibbering to himself, drool dripping off his fangs. Uh, happy Crimbo. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Glove.gifYou acquire an item: cheap elven gloves (? chance)*
Upon reciting The Spirit of Crimbo
Carapace.gifYou acquire an item: rigid carapace (100% chance)*
or
Vial.gifYou acquire an item: unstable DNA (100% chance)*

Occurred at The Atomic Crimbo Toy Factory.

Notes

References

  • The hit message containing "Ow! Your feelings!" might be a reference to the Homestar Runner cartoons series Teen Girl Squad. In it, the characters are often attacked/killed in bizarre and improbable fashions, and they usually respond by shouting in a similar manner.