Mutant cookie-baking elf
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This content has been retired and is no longer available in game. |
| Mutant cookie-baking elf | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 749 |
| Locations | The Atomic Crimbo Toy Factory |
| Hit Points | Scales with player stats |
| Attack | Scales with player stats |
| Defense | Scales with player stats |
| Initiative | 75 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | elf |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | head, arm, leg, torso |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a mutant cookie-baking elfThis elf used to be in charge of making cookies to stuff in the stockings of all of Loathing's good little boys and girls. Since the boys and girls also leave a plate of cookies out for Uncle Crimbo (despite his repeated requests for flasks full of whiskey), Crimbo is pretty much a zero sum game, cookie-wise.
Cookie-wise or cookie-foolish, though, this elf has been seriously mutated by exposure to Grimacite radiation, and the only thing he's interested in cooking now is your goose!
Hit Message(s):
He pushes you against a freshly-baked tray of cookies. Hot, hot, hot! Oof! Oof! Argh! (hot damage)
He slashes you with his claw, then rubs sugar in the wound. Hey, at least it wasn't salt. Eek! Ooh! Ouch!
He uses one of his grotesquely bulging arms to whack you with a spatula. Ooh! Ooh! Argh!
He throws a freshly-baked cookie at you. Turns out there's not a lot of difference between molten chocolate chips and napalm. Oof! Ooh! Argh!
He slashes your throat, collects the blood in a bowl, and adds flour and sugar to make cookie dough. Wait, that's too gruesome for this game. Er, he gives you a flower! How sweet! Ooh! Ow! Eek!
He throws a freshly-baked cookie at you, but you eat it before it can hurt you. Um, presumably it was going to hurt you. I mean, why else throw it, right?
He tries to slash you with his claws, but they're not sandy enough to do the job.
He tries to whack you with a spatula, but you're not down with thatula.
He tries to push you into an oven, but you swear you've never heard of Hansel or Gretel, and they must be lying.
He tries to put icing on a gingerbread man, but it crumbles to pieces in his big, hulking claws. He weeps copiously while you try to remind him that that's just the way the cookie crumbles. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: festive holiday hat (3% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: pulsing flesh (100% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: unstable DNA (100% chance)* |
Occurred at The Atomic Crimbo Toy Factory.
Notes
- The festive holiday hat drops if you defeat the monster normally.
- The pulsing flesh drops if this is one of the first two mutant elves upon which you use the Recite 'The Spirit of Crimbo' skill.
- The unstable DNA drops if this is the third or later mutant elf upon which you use the Recite 'The Spirit of Crimbo' skill.
