Mr. Store Analysis

This page is in need of content. Requires newer (Post 2016) IOTMs to be added

The purpose of this page is to provide a sort of "analysis/summary" for Mr. Store items, similar to the somewhat outdated Hardcore Familiar Analysis page. Pretty much everything in Mr. Store is now Hardcore usable. This page probably will just cover just items relevant to Standard, since things existing before then seem to have well-established strategy.

For each item, there will be an overview of what capabilities the item grants to a player (objective), and then perhaps some commentary for potential strategic uses (subjective), but there will be no "ranking" of items. Commentary will be mainly Hardcore-oriented, but there may be a bit of Softcore and/or Aftercore-related advice.

In the "Item" column, there may be a note or two, this is what they indicate:

• Auto-pulled: Item is automatically placed in the inventory at the start of a new Ascension.
• Campground item: Item is located in the Campground, and thus not available in Actually Ed the Undying and Nuclear Autumn.

• Exception: The Hallowiener Dog's encounters still occur in these paths, but the house cannot be boarded up.
• Exception: The Source Terminal is available in Nuclear Autumn.

• Contains: Item in its functional form is untradeable, and comes from a tradeable, non-functional "pre-item".
• Correspondence item: Item sets up a Correspondence to produce one item per day via KMail, and only one such KMail may be received per day.
• Garden item: Item creates a Garden (which is in the Campground), and only one Garden may exist in a Campground at a time.
• Grants skill: Item gives an automatically-marked Hardcore Permanent skill upon use, so this skill cannot be used in paths that restrict the use of permanent skills, such as the alternate class paths and Nuclear Autumn.

• Some items may also give access to skills, but these are not dependent on being permanent, and may be used in such restricting paths.
• Exception: In Avatar of Jarlsberg, skills from Your Mystical Bookshelf may be used.

• Hatches into: Item becomes a Familiar, and is unavailable in paths that restrict Familiars.
• Tradeable: Item in its functional form is tradeable (and thus can be borrowed or resold).
• VIP Lounge: Item is located in the Clan VIP Lounge, and requires a Clan VIP Lounge key to access.
• Workshed item: Item is located in Your Workshed (which is in the Campground), which can contain only one Workshed item at a time.

An item with Path exclusive in its Description has additional functions or functions slightly differently in certain special challenge paths.

Current Offerings

Item of the Month (December 2016)

At the beginning of a month, when the item is newly released and its capabilities are still being determined, this section will likely undergo several changes as the item is better understood. As such, speculative and tentative features will be in italics, and are thus not guaranteed to be accurate.

Item	Summary	Description
Build-a-City Gingerbread kit	A city full of crime and sprinkles See also: Forums Masterpost	Allows access to Gingerbread City in The Big Mountains, which contains scaling monster zones. Monsters in these zones drop sprinkles, which can be exchanged for various items in non-combats in the City. The 10th City encounter will be a Noon choice adventure, and the 20th City encounter will be a Midnight choice adventure. Each zone has different options for the Noon and Midnight encounters. The City collapses after the Midnight choice, preventing further adventuring there for the day, until the City resets after Rollover. The Civic Center Noon non-combat offers permanent upgrades for the City, for 1000 sprinkles each: Allows for an additional 10 encounters after Midnight, before the City collapses Allows the ability to advance Noon or Midnight by 5 Adventures Moves all gingerbread pigeons and rats into a new location, the Sewers Adds a new location, the Retail District Some useful in-run Noon/Midnight choices (not exhaustive): Civic Center (Noon): fancy marzipan briefcase, an off-hand item that gives +4-8 MP regeneration, -10% Combat Frequency, and disappears after Rollover Train Station (Midnight): fat loot token, requires candy crowbar from Industrial District (Noon, 50 sprinkles) Retail District (Noon, 150 sprinkles): pumpkin spice candle, an off-hand item that gives +40% Item Drops and disappears after Rollover

Items of the Year (2016)

Item	Summary	Description
basking robin Hatches into Rockin' Robin	Fairy and Volleyball combo Sometimes drops a robin's egg, which has many uses	Increases Item Drops like a Fairy and Stat Gains like a Volleyball. After 5 combats in an Ascension, and every 30 combats after that, drops a robin's egg, which has many uses. As a potion, the robin's egg gives 10 turns of +3 Resistance to All Elements and +10 Damage Reduction. As a combat item, it delevels by 50% and staggers. The egg is also an ingredient for size-2 awesome quality food or booze.
Batfellow comic (Tradeable)	Plays a dark and brooding minigame Consumable rewards Opportunity to gain a replica bat-oomerang, which provides three turnless instakills per day	A usable item that launches a Batfellow minigame, which does not cost any Adventures, and consumes the comic if any villain is defeated. The minigame yields a consumable depending on which villain was defeated first, and has a daily leaderboard which can give further rewards, depending on performance. One leaderboard reward is the replica bat-oomerang, a reusable combat item that instantly kills the monster and makes the fight not cost an Adventure, usable three times per day. While the comic is a free pull from Hagnk's, any rewards obtained are sent to Hagnk's. Completing 20 of these comics causes weekly delivery of a special edition Batfellow comic, which functions identically, but is not tradeable.

Past Offerings

2016

Month	Item	Summary	Description
January	X-32-F snowman crate	10 free fights per day against a growing snowman 1-2 useful consumables per day Training gear (+25% to one attribute, another useful enchantment, and a drawback) Masterful martial arts advice	Allows access to The Snojo in The Big Mountains, where the X-32-F Combat Training Snowman can be fought. The first 10 victories against the Snowman every day do not use Adventures, and the Snowman gains body segments with each victory that give it increased stats and special abilities. The Snowman has 3 modes (not including Tournament Mode), which determine what consumable the Snowman drops every 7th turn-less win in that mode, and also what training equipment and skillbook drops on the 11th and 50th turn-less wins respectively. Modes can be changed at any time, so it is possible to get 4 varied consumables and 2 pieces of gear in a 3-day run, and more in longer runs. Muscle Mode: ancient medicinal herbs: A size-1 spleen item that gives 50 turns of +100% maximum HP, +90-100 HP regeneration, and immunity to most negative effects. training belt: An accessory that gives +25% Muscle, +25 Monster Level, and -50% Weapon Damage. Mysticality Mode: ice rice: A size-1 EPIC food. training legwarmers: An accessory that gives +25% Mysticality, +5 Resistance to All Elements, and -50% Spell Damage. Moxie Mode: iced plum wine: A size-1 EPIC booze. training helmet: A hat that gives +25% Moxie, +25% Item Drops, and -50% Initiative.
February	LT&T telegraph office deed	Gives your cowboy boots, which are customizable with a variety of enchantments Provides an opportunity to gain +15% Combat Frequency potions	Allows access to the LT&T Office, which gives your cowboy boots the first time it is visited in an Ascension. The boots are an accessory that provides +25 HP/MP, and grants Cowboy Kick, a skill that does mild damage and staggers. The boots can be customized with a skin and a set of spurs to provide additional enchantments, which persist through Ascension. Replacing the skin or spurs on the boots destroys the previous customization. Skins and spurs are tradeable. Skin options: +50% Muscle, Mysticality, or Moxie +20 Monster Level Cowboy Kick also delevels by 15% Cowboy Kick also deals Spooky damage Spurs options: +20% Item Drops +30% Initiative +2 Resistance to All Elements +5 Adventures at Rollover Cowboy Kick also deals Hot, Stench, or Sleaze damage Also provides 30-turn quests via plaintive telegrams, which reward buffalo dimes. Choosing the Wagon Train Escort Wanted (hard) quest allows access to mountain lions, which can drop lion musk, a potion that gives 20 turns of +15% Combat Frequency. Path exclusive: In Avatar of West of Loathing, acquiring your cowboy boots also gives 3 buffalo dimes, which can be spent at the Office Gift Shop.
March	Witchess Set (Campground item)	5 daily free fights and opportunities for strong consumables and powerful gear Daily familiar weight buff that increases by solving puzzles Challenge other players (or the World) to Witchess See also: Defeating Witchess pieces guide	Provides 5 fights per day against 8 different scaling monsters. These monsters do not take Adventures when defeated, and each drops either a useful consumable or strong equipment that disappears after Rollover: Pawn: armored prawn (size-1 spleen item): 30-50 of each substat and 50 turns of +50% Initiative Knight: jumping horseradish (size-1 EPIC food): 50 turns of +100% Meat Drops Bishop: Sacramento wine (size-1 EPIC booze): 50 turns of +50% Item Drops Rook: Greek fire (potion): 25 turns of +25 Monster Level and +10 Stats per fight Ox: ox-head shield (shield): +26 Damage Reduction, +2 Resistance to All Elements, +100 HP, never fumble, +8 PvP Fights at Rollover King: dented scepter (1-handed club): +5 Muscle Stats per fight, +5-10 HP regeneration, +50% Muscle, +50% Weapon Damage, +10% Critical Chance Witch: battle broom (accessory): +5 Mysticality Stats per fight, +5-10 MP regeneration, +50% Mysticality, +100% Spell Damage, +10% Spell Critical Chance Queen: very pointy crown (hat): +5 Moxie Stats per fight, +5 Adventures at Rollover, +50% Moxie, -5% Combat Frequency, is a crossbow Compared to the consumable dropping monsters, the monsters that drop gear have much more HP, stagger immunity, partial damage resistance, and possibly other immunities, requiring more effort to defeat. In addition to the free fights, provides 5 daily puzzles. Solving all 5 grants 25 turns of a familiar weight buff that increases in strength as more puzzles are solved, from +5, up to +20 Familiar Weight. When all puzzles are solved, the buff is given when looking at the puzzles, without having to solve them. Also allows for playing as White in Witchess, a Chess variant.
April	Clan Floundry (VIP Lounge)	Rentable gear (1/day) +50%/+100% to one attribute +/- 10% Combat Frequency Various other enchantments, and potentially some quest-related items	Provides one rentable equipment with powerful enchantments per day. In general, these equipment provide a large boost (+50/+100%) to one attribute, and all but one provide +/- 10% Combat Frequency. The -10% combat frequency equipment can also be [used] once per day, providing various quest related items. carpe (back item): +50% Mysticality, +5-10 MP regeneration, +50% Meat Drops, +10% Combat Frequency codpiece (accessory): +100% Mysticality, +100 MP, +50 Spell Damage, -10% Combat Frequency, gives 8 bubblin' crudes troutsers (pants): +50% Moxie, +50% Pickpocket Chance, +11 Prismatic Damage, +5 Resistance to All Elements bass clarinet (1-handed ranged weapon): +100% Moxie, +50 Ranged Damage, -3 MP to use Skills, -10% Combat Frequency, gives 10 white pixels fish hatchet (1-handed melee weapon): +100% Muscle, +50 Weapon Damage, -10% Combat Frequency, gives 5+5 bridge parts tunac (shirt): +50% Muscle, +25 Monster Level, +25% Item Drops, +10% Combat Frequency Also provides a fishin' pole, for fishing for fish around the Kingdom. Any fish caught are shared with the clan and used to purchase the above items.
May	disconnected intergnat Hatches into Intergnat	Fairy -5% Combat Frequency (sometimes) YR Copier Helps with demon summoning Memes and internet points	Increases Items from Monsters like a fairy and drops BACON after combat, which is used as currency at the Internet Meme Shop. Also applies a modifier to monsters in combat, affecting the Intergnat: NAMED NEIL: Attacks every round. WITH TESLA: Restores MP after combat. ELDRITCH HORROR: Drops a thin black candle (6/day) or scroll of ancient forbidden unspeakable evil (1/day) after combat, or mentions a demon name component (see below). WITH BACON: Drops additional BACON after combat, one per round of combat, up to five. WITH SCIENCE: Provides scientific combat skills. One scientific skill can be used per combat: Science! Fight with Medicine: Staggers and heals 100-200 HP. Science! Fight with Rational Thought: Instakills the opponent, giving 11 turns of -5% Combat Frequency and forfeiting item/meat drops. Science! Fight with Internet Debate: Deals Hot damage and gives 11 turns of +10 Monster Level. The following items can be purchased at the Internet Meme Shop: viral video (20 BACON): A Yellow Ray combat item. gallon of milk (100 BACON): Size 15 food, gives 70-75 Adventures (~4.83 adv/full), 500 to each substat, and 100 turns of a mild debuff. print screen button (111 BACON): A one-use monster copier combat item. daily dungeon malware (150 BACON): A combat item that, when used against a Daily Dungeon monster, produces a fat loot token. Up to one of each of these items can be bought per day. There are other items that are bought with BACON, but these have little in-run use and/or are very difficult to acquire in-run. The names uttered by the Intergnat after fighting ELDRITCH HORROR-modified monsters are used as part of a demon name for the Summoning Chamber. This summoning yields: 25 turns of +10% Item Drops, +20% Meat Drops, +30 Weapon Damage, +40 Spell Damage, and +50% Initiative 10 BACON Another level-dependent result: Level 11: antique machete, tomb ratchet, and cigarette lighter Level 12: star chart Level 13: 10 turns of +50% Initiative Otherwise: 1000 Meat
June	Source terminal (Campground item)	Up to 3 daily buffs An additional buff gained after Rollover Interchangeable skills, including "wandering-copying", "monster-doubling", agent summoning, and extreme MP restoration Can provide up to three size-4 EPIC food/booze per day Glowy green letters Upgradeable	The Source Terminal has four programs: enhance, enquiry, educate, and extrude. Installing Source terminal chips permanently improves these programs. Enhance gives 25 turns of a buff, once per day, chosen from a selection of effects. PRAM and INGRAM chips improve buff duration, up to 100 turns, while CRAM and SCRAM chips raise the number of daily buffs up to three.. items.enh: +30% Item Drops meat.enh: +60% Meat Drops init.enh: +50% Initiative critical.enh: +10% Weapon and Spell Crit chance damage.enh: +5 Prismatic damage substats.enh: +3 Stats per fight Enquiry can be toggled for one of the following effects, giving 50 turns of that effect after Rollover. GRAM and DIAGRAM chips improve the effect duration, up to 200 turns. familiar.enq: +5 Familiar Weight monsters.enq: +25 Monster Level protect.enq: +3 Resistance to All Elements stats.enq: +100% to all attributes Educate grants .edu combat skills; only one may be available for use at a time, but the "active" skill may be freely swapped with another skill for use, just as how inactive Familiars are kept in the Terrarium. These skills have a base cost of 20 MP, and are usable once per combat. SPAM and ASHRAM chips reduce these skills' MP costs, and the DRAM chip allows two skills to be "active" simultaneously. Digitize: Once per day, staggers and causes wandering copies of that monster to appear, similar to the effects of an Obtuse Angel and Reanimated Reanimator, but with an increasing and predictable number of turns between copies. TRAM and TRIGRAM chips add an additional use per day, up to a maximum of three Digitizes. Extract: Produces 1-3 bits of Source essence. Rarely also produces a Source terminal chip or file, used to unlock features for the Terminal. Compress: Staggers and deals 25% the monster's HP in damage. Duplicate: Once per day, "doubles" a monster, doubling its current HP, attack, defense, and possible item drops. Portscan: Three times per day, causes a Government agent (a scaling monster) to be the next encounter. Turbo: Staggers, gives 1 turn of +100% maximum MP, and restores up to 1000 MP. After combat, removes that effect and gives 30 turns of an effect that gives -50% maximum MP, +15 Hot Damage, +15 Damage to Hot Spells, and disables Turbo. Extrude uses bits of Source essence to craft various items. Up to three items may be extruded per day. Certain .ext files unlock more items for extruding. browser cookie and hacked gibson (10 essence each): Size-4 EPIC food and booze respectively, also gives 40-60 to all substats. Source shades (100 essence): An accessory that gives +10% Item Drops and improves Extract to produce 2-6 essence per use. After installing their corresponding .ext file, chips to improve the above functions may be extruded (100 or 1000 essence each). Path exclusive: In The Source, certain elements of the Terminal work differently. All .edu skills are usable against Agents Portscan instead causes Source Agents to appear Duplicate "triples" the monster instead of "doubling" it, and can be used up to five times per day Browser cookies and hacked gibsons grant normal stat gains, despite the path's restriction
July	detective school application	Gives a detective badge, an accessory that gives some +HP/MP, Item Drops, and Meat Drops Access to size-1 awesome food/booze (also gives 50 turns of +50 ML) and a potion that gives 50 turns of -5% Combat Frequency Hardboiled sleuthing	Allows access to the 11th Precinct Headquarters in The Wrong Side of the Tracks, which gives a detective badge the first time it is visited in an Ascension. Detective badges are accessories that give +10-40 HP/MP, +5-20% Item Drops, and +15-30% Meat Drops, depending on how many times the badge has been upgraded. The first visit to the Headquarters each day yields 3 cop dollars, and up to three cases can be attempted each day. Cases are puzzles that do not take Adventures, and upon finishing a case, be it a success or a failure, 3 cop dollars are awarded, allowing for up to 12 cop dollars to be collected each day. Succeeding in a case adds additional cop dollars depending on time spent in the case, but if the King has not been freed yet, these will be held in a pension, to be collected at the Headquarters after the King is freed. Cop dollars are spent at the Precinct Materiel Division, which sells various items. The following items are the most feasible to purchase in-run: hardboiled egg/Falcon™ Maltese Liquor ($4): Size-1 awesome quality food/booze, gives 50 turns of +50 Monster Level shoe gum ($10): A potion, gives 50 turns of -5% Combat Frequency The detective badge can be permanently upgraded 3 times, each upgrade adding +10 HP/MP, +5% Item Drops, and +5% Meat Drops to the badge's enchantments. Each upgrade costs a detective roscoe ($50, untradeable), and an increasing number of cop dollars ($50, $200, $400).
August	DIY protonic accelerator kit Contains protonic accelerator pack (Auto-pulled)	Back item with several handy enchantments Ghost combats busting feels good Occasional special ghost encounters 10 turns of +20% to all attributes, 1/day	A back item with the following enchantments: +25 Damage vs. Ghosts +2-20 MP regeneration +15% Item Drops +10 to all attributes +5% Critical Hit Chance -5% Combat Frequency Allows ghost busting (which feels good) Against ghosts, provides the Shoot Ghost skill. Using this skill three times replaces it with the Trap Ghost skill. Trapping the ghost instantly defeats it, and increases substat gains by 20 for that fight. Defeating ghosts with the pack equipped (trapping or otherwise) yields psychokinetic energy blobs, an MP-restoring consumable. The pack occasionally reports paranormal activity in certain locations, with about 50 turns between reports. The next encounter in that location will result in a special ghost fight, which will not take an Adventure if defeated. Trapping these ghosts also yields an additional untradeable gear drop. Once per day, the streams may be crossed with another player wearing a pack, granting 10 turns of +20% to all attributes. The pack is automatically placed in the inventory at the start of every Ascension by the ghost of the previous incarnation. Path exclusive: In Nuclear Autumn, the pack will occasionally produce an additional rad after combat, used to buy path-specific skills.
September	Dear Past Self Package Contains Time-Spinner (Auto-pulled)	Many timely applications Monster and food copying, with restrictions Stat-rich combats One futuristic item fabrication per day A reusable staggering and deleveling combat item	Each day, provides 10 minutes, used to do various time-related things. Travel to a Recent Fight (3 minutes, 1 Adventure): Enters combat against a copy of a monster. The monster must be in the Combat Queue (in any location) to be a valid target for this. Travel back to a Delicious Meal (3 minutes): Eats a food item that was previously eaten that day. The food item must be tradeable and discardable to be a valid target for this. Adventure Way Back in Time (1 minute, 1 Adventure): Enters combat against a monster, which gives no stat gains, drops compounded experience (gives substats scaling with level), and has a low chance of dropping time residue. Visit the Far Future (2 minutes): Plays a minigame, in which one item may be fabricated per day. Successfully completing the minigame several times unlocks more items for fabrication. Unstable Pointy Ears: An accessory that gives +3 Stats per fight, and disappears after Rollover. Shot of Kardashian Gin: A size-1 EPIC booze that also gives 3 PvP Fights. Tea, Earl Grey, Hot: A size-1 EPIC food that also restores 1000 HP and MP. Play a Time Prank (1 minute): Sends a player a prank in the form of a personal combat that does not take an Adventure and drops time residue. Players can only receive pranks if out of Ronin or Hardcore, otherwise the prank will be delayed until that is so. Using time residue results in a combat from Way Back in Time. The Time-Spinner is usable once per combat, staggering and deleveling by 5%. The Time-Spinner is automatically placed in the inventory at the start of every Ascension by the future self.
October	li'l orphan tot Hatches into Trick-or-Treating Tot	Ghoul Whelp, always acts Costumes with many enchantments Increases trick-or-treating candy	Restores HP and MP after combat like a Ghoul Whelp, but always acts, instead of half the time. Has many costume familiar equipments, each with strong enchantments: Knight: +15 to all attributes Unicorn: +5 Adventures and +5 PvP Fights at Rollover Candy corn: +5 Resistance to All Elements Ninja: +150% Item Drops Pirate: +300% Meat Drops Clown: +15 Stats per fight The knight costume is available from the Arena, and the unicorn and candy corn costumes are sold in The General Store for 1000 Meat each. The ninja, pirate, and clown costumes drop from respective monsters, and disappear after Rollover. This familiar does not have to be active for costumes to drop. Having this familiar active when trick-or-treating doubles candy yields and sometimes replaces a fight with Prunets, a potion that gives 5 turns of increased Familiar Weight, +1 per turn of the effect remaining, up to +25. Path exclusive: In Nuclear Autumn, there are more costumes sold in Your Fallout Shelter stores: Eyeball (B2): -10% Combat Frequency Robot (B4): +10 Stats per fight and reduces radiation sickness accumulation Liberty (B7): +100% Item Drops and +200% Meat Drops The Shelter also sells the candy corn, knight, and unicorn costumes, one in each store.
November	Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog Contains packet of thanksgarden seeds (Garden item)	Grows cornucopias A bountiful harvest of delicious potatoes, cashews, and other food Cashews are exchanged for diverse items	Creates A Thanksgarden in The Campground, which starts with 1 cornucopia, and grows 2 or more each day if not harvested. Using a cornucopia produces a total of 7 items, including size-1 decent raw foods and cashews. Raw foods sometimes give 30 turns of The Good Salmonella, which gives +20% to all attributes per level of Fullness. Cashews are exchanged for various items: 1 cashew each: glass casserole dish: Shirt, gives +3 PvP Fights at Rollover, +30 Sleaze Damage, and +10 Damage Reduction. can opener: Weapon, gives +50% Hat/Pants Drops and weakens opponents on hit. potato masher: Weapon, gives +15 Spell Damage and +10% Critical Spell Chance. 2 cashews each: mini-marshmallow dispenser: Accessory, gives +30 HP/MP and +6-8 HP/MP regeneration. glass pie plate: Shield, gives +3 Hot Resistance, +25 Damage vs. Ghosts, and halves damage from Ghosts. bread mold: Autosells for 2500 Meat, and combines with fire of unknown origin into a combat item that, when used on a Zeppelin protester, removes 10 Zeppelin protesters. 3 cashews each: stuffing fluffer: When used, removes several soldiers from both sides of The Battlefield. turkey blaster: Size-2 spleen item, restores a large amount of HP and MP and advances the number of encounters in the last visited zone by 5, for the purpose of delayed or scheduled Conditional Adventures. 3 may be used per day. gravy boat: Hat, halves damage from Undead monsters and decreases Evil by 1 after every combat in The Cyrpt Raw foods cook with cashew store items to make size-2 awesome foods that produce leftovers and grant 20 turns of Thanksgetting. This effect gives a base of +20% Item Drops, +40% Meat Drops, and +1 Familiar Weight, and gives another +20% Item Drops, +40% Meat Drops, +1 Familiar Weight, and +1 Resistance to All Elements for each unique source of Thanksgetting eaten that day. At Rollover, this effect is replaced with Thanksgot, which gives a consistent +80% Meat Drops, +40% Item Drops, +2 Familiar Weight, and +1 Resistance to All Elements.

2015

Month	Item	Summary	Description
Item of the Year	golden monkey statuette Hatches into Golden Monkey	Volleyball and Leprechaun combo Sometimes drops powdered gold, a spleen item Drops gold nuggets against monsters with no meat	Increases Stat Gains like a Volleyball and Meat Drops like a Leprechaun. Occasionally drops powdered gold, a size-4 spleen item that gives 5-10 Adventures and some stats. Against monsters that have no meat drops, drops gold nuggets, which autosell for 100 Meat.
Item of the Year	Professor of Spelunkology Hatches into Adventurous Spelunker	Fairy and Leprechaun combo Attacks and delevels foes Drops one Tales of Spelunking per day, for Spelunking fun	Increases Item Drops like a Fairy and Meat Drops like a Leprechaun, and also attacks and delevels enemies. Once per day, drops a Tales of Spelunking to go on a Spelunking Adventure for 10 Adventures, which has a daily leaderboard and rewards some Meat depending on performance.
January	Chateau Mantegna room key	A personal hotel room, where resting restores HP and MP, and gives substats Daily desk rummaging Benefits from the ceiling fixture A fight against the monster that was last painted, once per day	Permanently unlocks a Chateau Mantegna room in The Big Mountains for personal use. The room has a bed, and four parts that can be customized: the painting, the ceiling, the desk, and the nightstand. There is also a Gift Shop, selling items used to customize the room, and all room furnishings persist through Ascension. The painting leads to a fight against the monster that the alpine watercolor set was last used on, and the painting can be fought once per day. The ceiling option confers various benefits: antler chandelier: +3 PvP Fights at Rollover artificial skylight: +3 Adventures at Rollover ceiling fan: +5 free rests per day The desk produces "something" once per day: continental juice bar: 3 pre-determined potions fancy stationery set: 3 fancy calligraphy pens Swiss piggy bank: 1000 Meat The nightstand determines the type of stat gained from resting in the bed. Resting in the bed restores 200-300 HP and 100-150 MP and gives up to 100 substats (based on level), with the type of stat determined by the nightstand option. With free rests available, resting in the bed will not take an Adventure. Otherwise, resting in the bed has a chance of yielding a minty consumable.
February	bottle of lovebug pheromones	Gives three lovebug skills in combat Various lovebug encounters after combat Some locations have specific encounters that help progress	Grants the combat skills Summon Love Mosquito, Summon Love Gnats, and Summon Love Stinkbug. Each lovebug skill costs 0 MP to use and may be used once per fight. Mosquito: Staggers, deals 10% the monster's current HP or at least 10 damage, and heals HP equal to the damage dealt. Gnats: A multi-round stun, with the duration of the stun decreasing the more times it is used that day. Stinkbug: Causes passive physical and Stench damage every round, with the damage per round decreasing the more times it is used that day. Also causes lovebugs to sometimes appear after combat. Generic lovebug encounters can slightly increase Meat or Item drops, or give 4-5 of a random substat. There are also location-specific lovebugs and effects, such as elemental powders in The Haunted Kitchen, Evil decreases in The Cyrpt, bridge parts in The Smut Orc Logging Camp, 3 turns of Ultrahydrated in The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert, and local currency drops in most Elemental Charter zones, Hobopolis, and Dreadsylvania. Path exclusive: In Actually Ed the Undying, Summon Love Mosquito is replaced with Summon Love Scarabs, which functions similarly, but restores 1/3 the damage done in MP instead of healing HP.
March	Ed the Undying exhibit crate Contains The Crown of Ed the Undying	+50 HP/MP and +25% Initiative hat Configurable for more effects Ed-sclusive effects	A hat that gives +50 HP and MP, and +25% Initiative. The hat can be adjusted for a variety of additional enchantments: Bear/Owl/Puma: +20 Mus/Mys/Mox and +2 stats of the selected attribute per fight Hyena: +20 Monster Level Mouse: +10% Item Drops and +20% Meat Drops Weasel: +10-20 HP regeneration and causes the first enemy attack to always miss Fish: Underwater breathing The hat also has the cosmetic effects of changing the player's avatar to that of Ed, and adding random mind-reading messages in combat and into chat. Path exclusive: In Actually Ed the Undying, this item is auto-pulled from storage and equipable in Hardcore. Ed can use the "Ed's servants will level up faster" enchantment, causing servants to gain 2 experience instead of 1 after combat. In addition, the "Allows you to read thoughts" enchantment causes Undead enemies to sometimes yield a Ka coin at the start of combat.
April	airplane charter: Dinseylandfill	Stench charter Access to a scaling monster zone that can be more rewarding than other scaling zones See also: Dinseylandfill Employee Manual	Grants permanent access to Dinseylandfill, which contains 4 Stench-themed zones. The Employee Assignment Kiosk assigns a task once per day, requiring some work in the park in exchange for some FunFunds™, which are spent at The Dinsey Company Store. Barf Mountain is a 100 monster level zone filled with tourists with a base Meat drop of 250, and after waiting in line enough, the ride can be ridden for stats and Meat. Pirates of the Garbage Barges is a 150 monster level zone teeming with pirates, but have been corporatized to the point of forgetting all of their pirate insults. The Toxic Teacups contains only scaling toxic beasties, and every combat here gives a few turns of Toxic Vengeance, which gives -1 to all attributes, +3 Stench Damage, and +3% Spell Damage per turn of the effect. Uncle Gator's Country Fun-Time Liquid Waste Sluice is another scaling zone, with monsters also having bonus Monster level multiplied, and causing additional Stench damage after combat, for additional challenge and stat rewards. The charter's rarest items drop here. There are also the Maintenance tunnels, where various aspects of the adventuring zones here can be controlled, unlocked by adventuring in that zone for a while. Once a day, turning in a bag of park garbage from Barf Mountain here will award 3 FunFunds™. By collecting keycards from around the park, the Cryo-Stasis room becomes accessible. As with all Elemental International Airport locations, the difference between owning a charter and using a one-day ticket is just that charter owners can access that location in Hardcore, or in Softcore without using a pull on a ticket. In Aftercore, it will take a very long time for a charter to break even with one-day tickets.
May	portable Mayo Clinic (Workshed item, Tradeable)	Sells many delicious food additives to get more out of food Sells useful rental medical supplies (including a YR) An opportunity to witness the miracle of life?	Sets up The Mayo Clinic in Your Workshed, which sells wonderful packets of Mayo (1000 Meat each) and a selection of rental Mayo-medical supplies. Using a packet of Mayo gives 1 blood mayonnaise concentration (BMC) and affects the next food eaten, depending on the type of Mayo: Mayonex: For every adventure that food would have given, instead gives 1 BMC and 1 turn of +10 Sleaze Damage and +2 Resistance to All Elements. Mayodiol: After eating that food, decreases Fullness by 1 and increases Drunkenness by 1. Mayostat: If the food was size-2 or greater, gives a size-1 mayolus with quality equal to that of the food eaten. Mayoli are tradeable. Mayozapine: Doubles stat gains and some effect durations granted by the food. Mayoflex: Gives an additional Adventure. Medical supplies: sphygmayomanometer (2500 Meat): An accessory that gives +20% to all attributes, plus an additional +1% to all attributes per BMC. tomayohawk-style reflex hammer (2500 Meat): A reusable combat item that staggers and does Sleaze damage based on BMC. mayo lance (2500 Meat): A reusable combat item that fires a Yellow Ray with BMC available. Each use decreases BMC by up to 30, and the duration of Everything Looks Yellow is also decreased by 5 turns per BMC consumed. miracle whip (10000 Meat, once per Ascension): A two-handed weapon that gives +50 Weapon Damage, +50% Initiative, +50% Item Drops, and +100% Meat Drops. Only one medical supply can be purchased per day, and all medical supplies (but not packets) disappear after Rollover. Also allows soaking in the Mayo Tank once per day, removing many negative effects, healing all HP, and giving 20 turns of Force of Mayo Be With You. A special surprise awaits anyone with a high enough blood mayo concentration...
June	yellow puck Hatches into Puck Man	Potato and Ghoul Whelp combo Drops yellow pixels after every combat, which are used in making various items, including strong potions, and high-quality food and booze Drops a limited number of power pills occasionally, which instakill monsters and cause the fight to not take an adventure	Staggers like a Levitating Potato, restores HP and MP after combat half of the time like a Ghoul Whelp, and drops a yellow pixel after every combat. Yellow pixels are used in making pixel items: pixel coin (10 yellow): When used, gives 2000 Meat miniature power pill (15 yellow): 30 turns of +100% to all attributes and negating ghosts' physical resistance pixel star (15 yellow, 2 black): 30 turns of +100% HP, MP, weapon damage, and spell damage yellow pixel potion (10 yellow): 20 turns of +20 Monster Level pixel lemon, pixel daiquiri (10 yellow): 5 adv/full size 2 food/booze pixel banana (10 yellow, 1 black): Same as pixel lemon, also gives 40 turns of +30% Item Drops pixel beer (10 yellow, 5 white): Same as pixel daiquiri, also gives 40 turns of +3 Stats Per Fight yellow submarine (50 yellow, 5 red, 5 green, 5 blue): Allows access to The Mysterious Island of Mystery In addition, occasionally drops power pills after combat, up to 1 plus daycount or 11 per day, whichever is lower. Power pills are combat items that instakill the monster and cause that fight to not take an Adventure, not decrementing effects, and still awarding normal stats, item drops, meat drops, and other post-combat events for the fight. Path exclusive: In One Crazy Random Summer, the kill screen familiar equipment that derives from this familiar is auto-pulled from storage, for even more randomness in the run.
	yellow puck with a bow on it Hatches into Ms. Puck Man
July	Pack of Every Card Contains Deck of Every Card	15 random draws from the Deck per day Specific card draws at the cost of 5 random draws (up to 3/day) Cards can do many things	Allows for 15 random draws from the Deck, every day. 5 random draws may be consumed to cheat and pick a specific card from the Deck, allowing for up to 3 cheats per day. Any card can only be drawn once per day. The cards' effects are widely varied, producing items, monster fights, effects, stats, or many other outcomes. Some useful cards (not exhaustive): III - The Empress / VI - The Lovers / XXI - The World: Grants 500 mys/mox/mus substats, respectively X - The Wheel of Fortune: Gives 20 turns of +100% Item Drops XVI - The Tower: Gives a Legend key, used in The Dungeoneers' Association and The Naughty Sorceress' Tower Door Island: Gives blue mana, used to cast Ancestral Recall to gain 3 Adventures Ancestral Recall: Teaches Ancestral Recall (can be made permanent), otherwise gives blue mana if already learned Sheep: Gives 3 handfuls of stone wool Mine: Gives asbestos ore, chrome ore, and linoleum ore 1952 Mickey Mantle: Gives a 1952 Mickey Mantle card, which autosells for 10000 meat Various Cluedo weapons: Gives a 1-handed weapon, which gives one of +100% to one attribute or +2 stats of one attribute per fight, and another enchantment, and disappears after Rollover The Deck is automatically placed in the inventory at the start of a new Ascension.
August	airplane charter: That 70s Volcano	Hot charter With enough Disco Style, get a daily bonus from The Towering Inferno Discotheque See also: Groovy Geology: Your Guide to That 70s Volcano	Grants permanent access to That 70s Volcano, which contains four Hot-themed zones. Every day, the W.L.F. Bunker offers a Volcoino in exchange for one of three items (or sets of items) that can be found around the Volcano. Volcoinos are spent at The Towering Inferno Discotheque. For those with enough Disco Style, the Discotheque also offers a variety of bonuses, once per day. In every location here, there is a choice non-combat that occurs after 50 combats in the zone that day, which may yield a quest item to be turned in, either directly or after fighting a boss. The SMOOCH Army HQ is the local scaling monster zone, where scraps of heat-resistant sheet metal and SMOOCH soda drop. The Bubblin' Caldera is a 100 monster level zone that limits base stats to 30, converts sheet metal into superheated metal or superduperheated metal (1/day), and is where the charter's rarest items drop. The Velvet / Gold Mine is a 70 monster level zone where heat-resistant equipment can be found, and becomes a mining location with the right preparation. The LavaCo™ Lamp Factory is also a 70 monster level zone where even more heat-resistant equipment drops, and is understandably involved in LavaCo™ Lamp assembly. As with all Elemental International Airport locations, the difference between owning a charter and using a one-day ticket is just that charter owners can access that location in Hardcore, or in Softcore without using a pull on a ticket. In Aftercore, it will take a very long time for a charter to break even with one-day tickets.
September	shrine to the Barrel god	Daily prayer to Him for a blessing (once-per-run rentable gear or a buff) Occasionally receive barrels after combat, containing a variety of items Improves The Barrel full of Barrels, revealing mimics and making the crank more efficient	Once per day, allows Pray to the Barrel God at The Dungeoneers' Association to receive His blessing, in the form of a barrel equipment, or 50 turns of a class-specific buff. Barrel equipment disappears after Rollover, and each gear can only be chosen once per Ascension. barrel lid (shield): +50 Monster Level, +25% Muscle, +100 HP, and 9 Damage Reduction barrel hoop earring (accessory): +50% Item Drops, +25% Mysticality, and +5-10 MP regeneration bankruptcy barrel (pants): +50% Initiative, +25% Moxie, and +10-20 HP regeneration Of the class-specific buffs, noteworthy ones include the Pastamancer's +90% Item Drops, and those of Turtle Tamers and Accordion Thieves, which can add up to 10 extra adventures when eating food or drinking booze respectively. He occasionally bestows barrels after combat, with contents depending on the location and its difficulty. These barrels may contain burritos of various grades, Disco Bandit drinks, other consumables such as stat giving spleen items and HP/MP restorers, or items unique to these barrels. In addition, He denotes which barrels in The Barrel full of Barrels are mimics, and causes the crank to give 6 barrels instead of 3 per turn. Both of these benefits make it easier to gain ten-leaf clovers from smashing barrels there.
October	haunted doghouse (Campground item)	A playful companion that gives treats every now and then Encounter the Hallowiener Dog after enough combats in a zone Can give stats, a +50% all attributes buff, or a +20 familiar experience item fairly frequently Can give a free runaway+banish combat item very infrequently Helps a bit in certain quests	Adds Hallowiener Dog encounters that occur after a certain number of Adventures have been spent in combats (5, 20, 50, and every 50 after that) in a location. These special encounters do not take Adventures. Some locations have unique encounters that replace a default Dog encounter there, such as the 8-Bit Realm dropping several pixels, locations in the Copse of the Deep Fat Friars dropping hot wings, The Defiled Nook dropping evil eyes, and The Middle Chamber droping a tomb ratchet. Otherwise, the default encounters and their choices are as follows: 5 combats: Petting the Dog for an increasing amount of substats each time it is petted, 30 turns of +50% to all attributes, or Ghost Dog Chow (usable, gives 20 experience to the active familiar). 20 combats: A tennis ball (combat item, free runaway and banish for 30 turns), 30 turns of +50% Initiative, or Meat. 50 combats: High quality food, high quality booze, or a curse item that may be used on other players. In Hardcore, the Mysterious Island battlefield will almost certainly yield the 20-combat encounter, and Airship and Desert are also likely to have that encounter.
November	airplane charter: The Glaciest	Cold charter Source of perfect ice cubes and VYKEA Companions components Walford's comedy stylings See also: "Kyliga Bollar," The Glaciest Guide	Grants permanent access to The Glaciest, which contains three Cold-themed zones. Walford is the local quest-giver, asking adventurers to fill his bucket with various objects found around the Glaciest, and rewarding Wal-Mart gift certificates in return. Gift certificates can be spent at Wal-Mart. The Ice Hotel is a 100 monster level zone, where perfect ice cubes and basic booze drop. VYKEA is a scaling zone, where the parts for assembling VYKEA Companions drop. The Ice Hole is a 250 monster level underwater zone, where Walford's bucket fills faster and the charter's rarest items drop. As with all Elemental International Airport locations, the difference between owning a charter and using a one-day ticket is just that charter owners can access that location in Hardcore, or in Softcore without using a pull on a ticket. In Aftercore, it will take a very long time for a charter to break even with one-day tickets.
December	machine elf capsule Hatches into Machine Elf	Before combat, stuns, delevels, or heals HP or MP Provides a strong buff against bosses Gives meat, substats, a snowglobe (1/day), or Abstractions, spleen items with very powerful effects Allows access to The Deep Machine Tunnels and 5 free fights per day there See also: A more detailed outline of the familiar	At the beginning of combat, does one of stunning, deleveling against relatively stronger monsters, healing a lot of HP if not full, or healing a lot of MP if not full. Against boss monsters, instead gives 1 turn of Inner Elf, which gives +100% to all attributes, weapon damage, and spell damage. After combat, drops a bit of meat, substats of a random attribute, a Deep Machine Tunnels snowglobe (1/day), or 1 of the 6 decent quality Abstractions. These abstractions are size 1 spleen items that provide 50 turns of +100% to one attribute, or +25% to stat gains of one attribute. While the Machine Elf is active or under the effect given by the snowglobe, The Deep Machine Tunnels are accessible. This zone consists of scaling monsters, that also drop decent quality abstractions at a low rate. Once per combat against these monsters, using the right +100% attribute abstraction will convert it into a good quality abstraction. Good quality abstractions are also size 1 spleen items, giving 50 turns of +10 Familiar Weight, +100% Item Drops, or +100% Initiative. With the Machine Elf active, the first 5 victories in this zone each day will not consume adventures. After the first 5 encounters in the zone and after every 50 encounters after that, there is a scheduled choice adventure with the following options: Acquire several random decent and/or good quality abstractions Acquire an abstraction: comprehension (requires all three +100% abstraction effects active) Duplicate a PvP-stealable food/booze/spleen item/potion (1/Ascension, requires Machine Elf active, item must be tradeable and discardable/autosellable) Skip the choice, to not use a turn.

2014

Month	Item	Summary	Description
Item of the Year	praying Grim Brother Hatches into Grim Brother	Volleyball and Leprechaun combo Sometimes drops a grim fairy tale, a spleen item Once per day, receive a small buff	Increases stat gains like a Volleyball and Meat Drops like a Leprechaun. Occasionally drops a grim fairy tale, a size-4 spleen item that gives 5-10 Adventures and some stats. Can also be talked to, once per day, for a choice of 30 turns of +20 Combat Initiative, +20 HP and +10 MP, or +10 Weapon Damage and +20 Spell Damage.
Item of the Year	hibernating Grimstone Golem Hatches into Grimstone Golem	Fairy and Leprechaun combo Drops one grimstone mask per day	Increases Item Drops like a Fairy and Meat Drops like a Leprechaun. After 40-50 combats of use in a day, drops a grimstone mask, which allows one "play" in a variety of minigames.
January	Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog Contains packet of winter seeds (Garden item)	Grows 3 handfuls of snow berries and 3 ice harvests per day Snow and ice can be "crafted" into various items Grows a frost flower if undisturbed for three days	Creates A Winter Garden in The Campground, which grows 3 handfuls of snow berries and 3 ice harvests per day. These are size-1 good quality foods that respectively give 30 turns of +10 Cold Damage and +20 Damage to Cold Spells or +20 HP and +3 Hot Resistance. These items can also be exchanged at Winter Gardening for various items. Some of the items (not exhaustive): snow cleats (1 snow): A potion that gives 30 turns of -5% Combat Frequency Ice Island Long Tea (1 snow, 4 ice): Size-4 EPIC booze snow boards (2 snow): Adds 5 sections toward bridge building unfinished ice sculpture (3 snow, 3 ice): A combat item that copies a monster snow belt (7 snow, 1 ice): An accessory that disappears after Rollover, gives +5 substats of each kind per fight and +8 Adventures at Rollover If the garden is not harvested for three days, the next harvest also yields a frost flower, which gives 50 turns of +100% Initiative, +100% Item Drops, +200 Meat Drops, +25 Monster Level, and a 0 MP Cold Damage skill.
February	Buddy Bjorn (Tradeable)	A back item that gains an enchantment from the familiar held The held familiar can also act in combat	A back item that can hold a familiar, which gains 1 familiar experience per fight. The Bjorn gains enchantments depending on the familiar held, and also allows the held familiar to perform Bjorn-specific actions in combat. Some familiars with useful Bjorn functions (not exhaustive): El Vibrato Megadrone: +10 Monster Level and restores 10-15 MP per round for the first three rounds of combat Grim Brother: +5% Combat Frequency and produces up to two grim fairy tales per day Grimstone Golem: -5% Combat Frequency and produces one grimstone mask per day Feral Kobold: +15% Item Drops Machine Elf: +7 to all attributes, sometimes produces abstractions Reassembled Blackbird/Reconstituted Crow: +10% Item Drops, sometimes produces blackberries Trick-or-Treating Tot: +10 to all attributes, drops one hoarded candy wad per day
March	Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (Tradeable)	A shirt that gives +10 Moxie and can have its enchantments changed Pete only: Improved audience interaction	A 100-power shirt that can change its enchantments by popping its collar. Unpopped: +10 Moxie +20% Meat Drops +30% Pickpocket chance +4 Adventures at Rollover Popped: +10 Moxie +20% Initiative +30 Monster Level +4 PvP Fights at Rollover Path exclusive: In Avatar of Sneaky Pete, the jacket (in either form) is auto-pulled, and equipable in Hardcore. Pete can use the "The Audience Loves/Hates You Even More!" enchantment, increasing the Love/Hate caps to 50, and causing Mug for the Audience and Pickpocket to affect the Audience doubly so.
April	Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab (Workshed item, Tradeable)	Allows DNA extraction, which is used for making Gene Tonics (3/day) and self-hybridization for an intrinsic effect The type of effect is determined by the DNA source	While in Your Workshed, gives a DNA extraction syringe, a reusable combat item that staggers and collects DNA based on Monster Types. Each monster type has an associated effect, which can come from a Gene Tonic, as 30 turns of the effect, or from self-hybridization, as an intrinsic effect. The last DNA extraction determines the type of Gene Tonic or hybridization. There is a daily limit of creating three Gene Tonics and one hybridization. While making a Gene Tonic does not affect the DNA in the syringe, hybridization will empty it. The effects from the Lab are not mutually exclusive, but having a Gene Tonic and intrinsic of the same type does not double the effect. Some useful effects (not exhaustive): Constellations: +50% Meat Drops Constructs: +50 Damage Absorption, +5 Damage Reduction, +5 Familiar Weight Dudes: +10 to all attributes, +10% Item Drops Fish: +10 Familiar Weight Weird: +4 Stats per fight
May	airplane charter: Spring Break Beach	Sleaze charter See also: A Tourist's Guide to Spring Break	Grants permanent access to Spring Break Beach, which contains three Sleaze-themed zones. Beach Bucks are the local currency, and are conveniently given by quests from the three stores there where they are spent. Unlike other Charter quests which reset daily, quests at Spring Break Beach are reset by using an Ultimate Mind Destroyer. The Fun-Guy Mansion contains only Fun-Guy Playmates, which have randomized immunities, and gain power and immunities as more of them are defeated. The Sloppy Seconds Diner is the local scaling monster zone, with a periodic choice adventure that can give Beach Bucks or increase the monster level of a monster in the zone. The Sunken Party Yacht is a 350 monster level underwater zone, with a periodic choice adventure with results including an Ultimate Mind Destroyer (1/week), or trading strings of moist beads for Beach Bucks. As with all Elemental International Airport locations, the difference between owning a charter and using a one-day ticket is just that charter owners can access that location in Hardcore, or in Softcore without using a pull on a ticket. In Aftercore, it will take a very long time for a charter to break even with one-day tickets.
June	still grill Hatches into Galloping Grill	Sombrero and Hot Starfish combo Sometimes drops stat-related items after combat	Increases stat gains like a Hovering Sombrero and does Hot damage and restores MP like a Star Starfish. The damage done will be physical against Hot monsters, and always acts at the beginning of combat. Sometimes drops various items after combat: hot ashes (up to 5/day): A combat item that deals stat-based Hot damage, and can be cooked with soda water into ash soda, a potion that gives 15 turns of +15 Monster Level. shaker of dry rub: When eating food, this item is consumed to add 12-16 to all substats to the food. bottle of lighter fluid: A potion that gives 20 turns of +20 Hot Damage and +20 Damage to Hot Spells. liquid smoke/dollop of barbecue sauce/bowl of marinade: Potions that give 15 turns of +15 to both off-stats.
July	Clan speakeasy (VIP Lounge)	Sells a variety of booze, up to three per day Booze effects include substats, semi-rare adventure tracking, various effects, PvP Fights, and others	Opens A Speakeasy in the Clan VIP Lounge, which sells booze to be drank immediately. These drinks have varying qualities and effects, and up to three drinks may be purchased per day. Not all drinks are initially available, and must be unlocked with passwords. glass of "milk"/cup of "tea"/thermos of "whiskey" (250 Meat): Good, size-1, gives 75-100 substats of one attribute Lucky Lindy (500 Meat): Good, size-1, produces a number that is a counter until the next semi-rare adventure Bee's Knees (500 Meat): Awesome, size-2, gives 25 turns of +100% to all attributes Sockdollager (500 Meat): Awesome, size-2, gives 25 turns of +20 Prismatic Damage, +40 Damage to spells of all elements, +20 Ranged Damage, +20 and +50% Weapon Damage, and +40 and +50% Spell Damage Ish Kabibble (500 Meat): Awesome, size-2, gives 25 turns of +3 Resistance to All Elements, +10 Damage Reduction, and +100 Damage Absorption Hot Socks (5000 Meat): Awesome, size-3, gives 50 turns of +2 Familiar experience per combat, +10 Familiar Weight, and +20 Familiar Damage Phonus Balonus (10000 Meat): Awesome, size-3, also gives 5 PvP Fights Flivver (20000 Meat): EPIC, size-2, gives 10-20 to all substats and 50-90 MP Sloppy Jalopy (100000 Meat): Awesome, size-5, gives 20-40 to all substats and the skill Hollow Leg, which gives +1 Liver Capacity and cannot be made permanent
August	The Confiscator's Grimoire Grants skill: Summon Confiscated Things	Produces an equipment, potion, and usable item, once per day	Once per day, summons three items: Equipment: The type is predictable based on class, path, and day. cap gun: A 1-handed ranged weapon that limits base attributes to 200, and grants the Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! skill, which delevels and staggers glow-in-the-dark necklace: An accessory that gives +10% Mysticality, +10 Spell Damage, and +2-10 MP regeneration Groll doll: An accessory that does passive damage in various elements, delevels, or restores some HP each round plastic nunchaku: A 2-handed weapon that gives +3 Prismatic Damage and +30% Initiative portable cassette player: An accessory that gives +5% Combat Frequency, +5 Monster level, and small buffs while equipped sticky hand whip: A 1-handed weapon that gives +5% Item Drops, +10% Pickpocket chance, and +15% Meat Drops Potion: Gives +10 to an attribute, +10 to a related type of damage, and +10% to a related type of critical hit or +10 Damage Reduction Usable item: Items that can be used on other players for fun, or an LCD game minigame
September	Thor's Pliers (Tradeable)	1-handed weapon with multiple functions Improves stat gains, MP regeneration, fighting, and crafting Especially useful in Heavy Rains	A 1-handed weapon with several enchantments: +4 Stats per fight Allows for 10 Meatsmithings without Adventure cost per day +6-9 MP regeneration +20% Pickpocket Chance Regular Attacks Can't Miss Gives the Ply Reality skill (staggers and does 3-5 damage of each element, 1/combat) Path exclusive: In Heavy Rains, this item is auto-pulled from storage and equipable in Hardcore. In addition, after every 11 combats wielding the Pliers, recovers 11 bolts of Lightning, a path-exclusive resource used for Lightning skills.
October	airplane charter: Conspiracy Island	Spooky Charter Access to a scaling zone where stat gains can be doubled Access to a differently scaling zone where monster strength grows exponentially Bucket-related fatalities See also: Oceanic Island Survivalist Guide	Grants permanent access to Conspiracy Island, which contains three Spooky-themed zones. A Radio on a Beach issues one quest per day, asking Adventurers Mercenaries to fulfill tasks around the Island in exchange for Coins-spiracy. Coins-spiracy are spent in the shops in The Conspiracy Island Bunker, each of which must be unlocked by adventuring in the zones around the island. The Deep Dark Jungle is the resident scaling monster zone, where stat gains are doubled while under the effect of Jungle Juiced, from The Canteen's Jungle Juice. Some of the charter's rarest items drop here. The Mansion of Dr. Weirdeaux has only Dr. Weirdeaux's creations, which have random heads, body parts, and butts, all with varying abilities, and increase in strength and number of body parts as more are defeated, eventually reaching gargantuan proportions. The Secret Government Laboratory is a 200 monster level zone that requires wearing a Personal Ventilation Unit to adventure in, limiting base stats to 100. Monsters in the Lab can be modified with A Mysterious Control Panel once per day, affecting their stats (+/-150 monster level) and item drops. There is a hard limit of 10 item drops in the Lab per day. As with all Elemental International Airport locations, the difference between owning a charter and using a one-day ticket is just that charter owners can access that location in Hardcore, or in Softcore without using a pull on a ticket. In Aftercore, it will take a very long time for a charter to break even with one-day tickets.
November	fist turkey outline Hatches into Fist Turkey	Fairy that attacks enemies Can give Meat or stats in combat Drops up to 5 boozes per day after combat	Increases Item Drops like a Fairy, and attacks enemies. Always acts at the start of combat, attacking and sometimes staggering, giving Meat, or giving substats to one attribute (up to 5 instances per substat type each day). Occasionally drops size-1 booze after combat, up to 5 per day: Friendly Turkey (awesome, L1-4): 25 turns of +5 Familiar Weight Agitated Turkey (EPIC, L5-7): 25 turns of +25% Item Drops Ambitious Turkey (EPIC, L8+): 25 turns of +25% Initiative and +50% Meat Drops
December	Crimbo sapling Hatches into Crimbo Shrub	Attacks and increases stat gains, tuned to a chosen attribute Configurable, once per day Can give extra PvP Fights YR option, Meat-giving option, gift exchanging option	Attacks enemies with elemental damage, increases stat gains, and has two other abilities, depending on decorations. Can be configured once per day to change the familiar's functions. Redecorating options: The attribute that receives 75% of the familiar's bonus stat gains The type of elemental damage One choice out of: Healing HP after combat Giving one PvP Fight after about every 20 combats Staggering One choice out of: Yellow Ray skill on a 150-turn cooldown ~2500 Meat-granting skill on a 100-turn cooldown Gift exchanging, sometimes giving and receiving duplicated item drops to and from other players with the Shrub with this function

Other

These items include other Mr. Store items that are not tied to a month or year, and other relatively expensive and/or rare items.

Source	Item	Summary	Description
Mr. Store (sometimes)	Clan VIP Lounge invitation Contains Clan VIP Lounge key (Auto-pulled)	Grants permanent access to the Clan's VIP Lounge 5 full HP restores per day in A Relaxing Hot Tub 3 plays of a Deluxe Mr. Klaw "Skill" Crane Game for a chance at a variety of premium and luxury toys Benefits of any other furnishings installed	This item is sold in Mr. Store when the Item of the Month is a Clan VIP Lounge furnishing, for 1 Mr. Accessory. At the very least, a Clan's VIP Lounge contains A Relaxing Hot Tub and a Deluxe Mr. Klaw "Skill" Crane Game. The Hot Tub can be soaked in 5 times per day, each time fully restoring HP and removing most negative effects. The Crane Game can be played up to 3 times per day, sometimes giving various gift items. The VIP Lounge offers even more, if other furnishings are installed. The key is automatically placed in the inventory at the start of an Ascension.
Mr. Store	Monster Manuel	Unlocks up to three factoids for monsters after defeating them With at least one factoid, reveals monster stats in-combat With all three factoids, sometimes drops avatar-changing potions	Adds a new section to the Quest Log, containing factoids and statistics from previously defeated monsters. Most monsters have three factoids, and the first factoid always unlocks after defeating that monster for the first time. With at least one factoid for a monster, future combats against that monster will have their stats revealed (similar to a tongue depressor), such as HP, attack, defense, initiative, element, and Monster Type. These stats accurately reflect any changes in combat, such as damage dealt, bonus Monster Level, and deleveling, among other effects. Some monsters can drop an avatar-changing potion if all three of their factoids are unlocked. These have an autosell price of 5 Meat, but are mainly cosmetic and for fun, otherwise. Path exclusive: In Heavy Rains, Rain Man may conjure any copyable monster with at least one factoid unlocked.
Mr. Store (April 1st, yearly)	tiny costume wardrobe (Tradeable)	Familiar equipment, randomizes familiar's effects each combat	A familiar equipment for any familiar that causes the equipped familiar to become a random familiar at the start of each combat, gaining that familiar's effects while suppressing the original's effects. On a fully-upgraded Homemade Robot, these random familiar actions will be performed at a base of 100 pounds, making them quite strong, if unpredictable. Because almost any familiar can be mimicked by this equipment, it is possible to (unreliably) access familiar-specific effects even if that familiar is not owned or is restricted by an Ascension path, such as free runaways, "wander-copying", and Nano-buffs.
Mr. Store (during Twitch Livestream World Events)	time-twitching toolbelt (Tradeable)	An accessory that improves adventuring in The Time-Twitching Tower	An accessory that gives +15 to all attributes, +60% Item Drops in The Time-Twitching Tower, and confers other benefits related to the Tower. Most of these benefits involve increasing Chroner gains when adventuring in Tower zones. This item becomes a free pull from Hagnk's while the Tower is present.
KoL Con XI (2014)	Xi Receiver Unit (Correspondence item, Tradeable)	Produces a transmission from planet Xi every day Day 1: Yields a holo-wrist-puter (accessory, +10% Item Drops, find Xiblaxian materials) Day 2: Yields a 5D printer (purchase items using materials)	Sets up a correspondence to deliver a transmission from planet Xi every day. The first transmission produces a Xiblaxian holo-wrist-puter, an accessory that gives +10% Item Drops and occasionally drops Xiblaxian materials depending on the location type. The second transmission produces a Xiblaxian 5D printer, where Xiblaxian materials are spent. A typical run will likely have enough materials to buy a Xiblaxian ultraburrito or Xiblaxian space-whiskey, size-4 EPIC food or booze.
KoL Con XII (2015)	potted tea tree (Campground item)	Once per day, gives three random cuppsa tea, or one specific tea. Cuppsa tea can do many different things	Once per day, can be shaken for three random cuppsa tea, or have one specific cuppa tea be picked. Cuppsa tea are consumables (mostly potions) which have a wide variety of effects. Effects include +/- 5% Combat Frequency, +1 stomach capacity for that day, -1 drunkenness, +5 Familiar Weight, +25% Item Drops, among many others.
KoL Con XIII (2016)	KoL Con 13 snowglobe (Tradeable, Auto-pulled)	Off-hand that gives random substats or items after combats	An off-hand item that causes flashbacks after every combat. Flashback effects include gaining a few random substats, and less frequently, getting a random PvP-stealable food, booze, or potion. With a time-twitching toolbelt equipped, another substat-granting flashback occurs after the first. The snowglobe is automatically placed in the inventory at the start of every Ascension.
SubscriptionBot (December 2015 through March 2016)	Gratitude chocolate (octopus-filled) Hatches into Choctopus	Fairy and Ghoul Whelp combo	After combat, increases Item Drops and has a chance to restore HP and MP.

Mr. Store Derivatives

These items and skills are found from Mr. Store items or similar sources, but are also tradeable or at least obtainable by interacting with other players. This list does not contain every such tradeable item and skill, and is biased toward non-consumables.

Item descriptions
Item	Item is usable as is. May be pulled in Softcore Ascensions.
Skill	Item grants a skill, that can be made permanent in Valhalla for future Ascensions.
Familiar	Item hatches into a familiar, which will be available in future Ascensions that permit familiars.
Other	Item does not fit into any of the above descriptions.
Untradeable*	Item itself is untradeable, but can still be obtained via related, tradeable items.

Source	Item/Skill	Summary
designer handbag	Purse Rat	A familiar that increases Monster Level equal to half its weight.
dubious peppermint	numberwang*	An accessory that gives +5 Adventures and +5 PvP Fights at Rollover, +11 Monster Level, +23% Initiative, +37 HP/MP, and +6-9 HP/MP regeneration.
Winter Gardening	ice house	A combat item that banishes a monster, where it is kept in The Museum. It remains banished even though Rollover and Ascension, until another ice house is used on another monster.
	snow machine	A workshed item that produces a snow berries and an ice harvest upon harvesting a Garden.
Buff Jimmy's Souvenir Shop	Unoffendable (book)	A passive +3 Sleaze Resistance skill.
	Grease Up (book)	A non-combat skill (15 MP) that gives 10 turns of +15 Sleaze Damage. While this effect is active, gives the combat skill Unleash the Greash, which consumes all turns of the effect and does proportional Sleaze damage based on the number of turns consumed.
	Brogre brolo shirt* Brogre brorts* Brogre bucket hat*	Components of the Brogre Brouture outfit.
Xiblaxian holo-buddy simcode	Xiblaxian Holo-Companion	A familiar that increases Initiative by double its weight like an Oily Woim and staggers like a Levitating Potato.
Xiblaxian 5D printer*	Xiblaxian stealth cowl* Xiblaxian stealth vest* Xiblaxian stealth trousers*	Components of the Xiblaxian Stealth Suit outfit. Each item gives -5% Combat Frequency and +20% to a different attribute. The complete outfit gives an additional +10% to all attributes.
The Armory	Hypersane (book)	A passive +3 Spooky Resistance skill.
	Intimidating Mien (book)	A non-combat skill (15 MP) that gives 10 turns of +15 Spooky Damage. While this effect is active, gives the combat skill Thousand-Yard Stare, which consumes all turns of the effect and does two hits of proportional Spooky damage based on the number of turns consumed.
	mercenary pistol	A 1-handed ranged weapon that gives +10 to all attributes, prevents fumbling, and allows use of special clips as combat items when equipped, dealing multiple hits of Moxie-based elemental damage.
Tales of Spelunking leaderboard	Speluck (book)	A passive skill that grants +5% Item Drops and +10% Meat Drops in Underground Locations.
	Spelunker's fedora* Spelunker's whip* Spelunker's khakis*	Components of the Spelunker's Gear outfit.
The Dinsey Company Store	Olfactory Burnout (book)	A passive +3 Stench Resistance skill.
	Garbage Nova (book)	A combat skill (50 MP) that deals Stench damage, scaling with Mysticality and Spell Damage, with an unlimited group multiplier.
	stinky fannypack*	An accessory that gives +25 Stench Damage, +25 Damage to Stench Spells, and +40% Item Drops in Elemental Airport zones.
	garbage sticker*	A 1-handed weapon that gives +20% Item Drops for certain item types, +30% Meat Drops, and produces Meat at the end of combats where the monster does not drop Meat.
	hazmat helmet*	A hat with many defensive enchantments, and changes the player avatar.
inert sludgepuppy* (via Toxic Chemistry)	Sludgepuppy	A familiar that does three instances of Stench damage per round and staggers like a Levitating Potato.
Wart Dinsey	Dinsey's brain* Dinsey's pizza cutter* Dinsey's radar dish* Dinsey's pants* Dinsey's oculus* Dinsey's glove*	Components of the Dinsey's Exoskeleton outfit.
	Rotten Memories (book)	A non-combat skill (15 MP) that gives 10 turns of +15 Stench Damage.
Deck of Every Card or gift card	Healing Salve Dark Ritual Lightning Bolt Giant Growth Ancestral Recall	These skills require and consume a colored mana, also obtained from the Deck or gift card. Respectively: Restores 3000 HP (white mana, combat) Restores 3000 MP (black mana, non-combat) Deals 3000 damage (red mana, combat) Grants one turn of +300% to all attributes (green mana, combat) Grants 3 Adventures, can be used up to 10 times per day (blue mana, non-combat)
	talking spade*	When used, reveals the total values of active Item Drops, Meat Drops, Initiative, and Monster Level bonuses. This item is a free pull from Hagnk's.
Disco GiftCo	Asbestos Heart (book)	A passive +3 Hot Resistance skill.
	Pyromania (book)	A non-combat skill (15 MP) that gives 10 turns of +15 Hot Damage.
	biker's hat* feathered headdress* electrician's hardhat*	A hat that gives +40% Moxie, +40% Booze Drops, and +20% Pickpocket chance. A hat that gives +40% Mysticality, +40% Food Drops, and +10-20 MP regeneration. A hat that gives +40% Muscle, +40 Weapon Damage, and +20-40 HP regeneration.
The SMOOCH Army HQ	love*	A ranged weapon that gives +50% Pants Drops, +5 Familiar Weight, and +8-16 HP/MP regeneration.
LavaCo™ Lamp Factory	Mr. Cheeng's spectacles*	An accessory that gives +15% Item Drops, +10% Critical Spell Chance, +30% Spell Damage, and occasionally gives a random potion after combat.
tiny barrel	Lil' Barrel Mimic	A familiar that increases stat gains after combat like a Volleyball, and sometimes gives an item after combat. Possible items include burritos, boozes, substat-granting spleen items, and HP or MP restorers.
Weekly Royalty leaderboard	Royal scepter*	An off-hand item that gives +4 Adventures, +8 PvP Fights, and 5 turns of +200% to all attributes, HP, MP, Weapon Damage, and Spell Damage at Rollover.
Wal-Mart	Refusal to Freeze (book)	A passive +3 Cold Resistance skill.
	Beardfreeze (book)	A non-combat skill (15 MP) that gives 10 turns of +15 Cold Damage.
	Frost Bite (book)	A combat skill (50 MP) that deals physical and Cold damage, and stuns for 2-3 rounds. Can be used only once per combat.
	Wal-Mart snowglobe* Wal-Mart nametag* Wal-Mart overalls*	An off-hand item that gives +40% Muscle, +4 Muscle Stats per fight, and +5 Familiar Weight. An accessory that gives +40% Mysticaility, +4 Mysticaility Stats per fight, and +10% Critical Spell Chance. Pants that give +40% Moxie, +4 Moxie Stats per fight, and +30% Initiative.
The Ice Hotel	Perfect Freeze (book)	A non-combat skill (5 MP) that can be used once per day, and produces a perfect ice cube.
Batfellow comic	The Jokester's wig The Jokester's gun The Jokester's pants	Components of The Jokester's Costume outfit. The gun may be fired in combat once per day, to instantly kill a monster and make the fight not cost an Adventure.
X-32-F Combat Training Snowman	Shattering Punch (book)	A combat skill (30 MP) that instantly kills a monster and makes the fight not cost an Adventure. Can be used three times per day.
	Snokebomb (book)	A combat skill (50 MP) that banishes the monster for 30 turns and runs away, not costing an Adventure. Can be used three times per day.
	Shivering Monkey Technique (book)	A passive +15% Initative skill.
LT&T Gift Shop	Bend Hell (book) Bow-Legged Swagger (book) Steely-Eyed Squint (book)	Non-combat skills (100 MP) that can each be used once per day, giving 1 turn of an effect that doubles certain bonuses, respectively: Elemental weapon and elemental spell damage Weapon damage and Initiative Item Drops
	Western Slang Vol. 1: Violence Western Slang Vol. 2: Cooking Western Slang Vol. 3: Fraud	When used, permanently unlocks the last three skills of the respective Avatar of West of Loathing class for learning: Cow Puncher: Unleash Cowrruption, Hard Drinker, Walk: Cautious Prowl Beanslinger: Beancannon, Prodigious Appetite, Walk: Prideful Strut Snake Oiler: Long Con, Tolerant Constitution, Walk: Leisurely Amble These items are free pulls from Hagnk's.
shuddering cow skull	Restless Cow Skull	A familiar that sometimes staggers and additionally attacks with Spooky damage. With Cowrruption active, attacks much harder and more frequently.
Investigating a Plaintive Telegram (via inflatable LT&T telegraph office)	porquoise-handled sixgun*	A reusable combat item that deals 35 damage and restores 20-30 MP, once per combat.
	Clara's bell*	Gives a "hidden effect" when used, once per day, that effectively forces the next encounter to be a non-combat, if appropriate for that zone. This "effect" disappears after a valid non-combat encounter.
Internet Meme Shop	infinite BACON machine*	Produces 100 BACON when used, once per day, which can be spent at the Internet Meme Shop from which it originated.
software bug	Software Bug	A familiar that should not do anything, hopefully.
Precinct Materiel Division	noir fedora trench coat	A hat (200 power, 100 Moxie requirement) that gives +20% to all Moxie gains, +20% Moxie, and +8-10 HP/MP regeneration. A shirt (200 power, 100 Muscle requirement) that gives +20% to all Muscle gains, +20% Muscle, and +4 Spooky Resistance.
A traveling Thanksgiving salesman	gravy boat	A hat that halves damage from Undead monsters, and decreases Evil by 1 after every combat in The Cyrpt.
Gingerbread City	Licorice Rope (book)	A combat skill (0 MP) that banishes a gingerbread man for the rest of the day.
	Gingerbread Mob Hit (book)	A combat skill (30 MP) that instantly kills a gingerbread and makes the fight not take an Adventure, usable once per day.
	Fifteen Minutes of Flame (book)	A non-combat skill (50 MP) that gives 15 turns of +15 Hot Damage, +15 Damage to Hot Spells, and +15% Initiative.
	Ceci N'Est Pas Un Chapeau (book)	A non-combat skill (300 MP) that gives no hat, a hat (200 power, 150 Moxie requirement) with a random enchantment, and disappears after Rollover. This skill is usable once per day.
	Chocolate Lab	Increases Item Drops like a Fairy and also increases Sprinkles Drops.

Standard-Restricted Items

This page lists items no longer usable in Standard-restricted paths.