Mortimer Strauss

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Mortimer Strauss
Monster ID 1129
Locations The Maelstrom of Lovers
Hit Points 75% of Monster Defense
Attack Player's Moxie+2 (min 10, max 150)
Defense Player's Muscle+2 (min 10, max 150)
Initiative 50
Meat None
Phylum undead
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
jar full of wind, jar full of wind, Mortimer's nostrum
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Mortimer Strauss You're fighting Mortimer Strauss

The history, herewith, of Mortimer Strauss,
Who never could wait 'til his wife left the house,
For he'd call up his mistresses, seven-and-twenty,
The fun they had? Sordid. The acts they did? Plenty.
They frabled their snoobles! They pandled their banglers!
He'd grindy her vormins! She'd shmooby his danglers!
When Mortimer died (with a smile on his face),
He awoke as a wind-beset wraith in this place.

Hit Message(s):

He spangles your norbles and schmoozes your snoff
And you heartily wish that he'd just knock it off. (sleaze damage)

Mortimer gives you a slap on the rump,
That slap on the rump makes you jump like a chump! Eek! (sleaze damage)

He pinches you right on your left buttock cheek
Which startles you so, you jump into next week. Ouch! (sleaze damage)

Mortimer tries to fandoogle your bubblies,
When he fails, then he kicks you right square in the jubblies.Eek! (sleaze damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He distracts you with lewd and unseemly loud catcalls,
Thus tripping you into a series of pratfalls.

Miss Message(s):

He does is most damndest to bangle your frangle
But try as he might, you're quite un-frangle-bangled.

Mortimer tries to slap your behind
But he's floating so fast that he has to slap blind.

He asks you for your astrological sign,
You say that it's, "Stop," and then he starts to whine.

Mortimer tries to fandoogle your vurbles
But you dodge him so quickly the air 'round you burbles.

Fumble Message:

He goes off to flirt with another sad wraith,
He'll be back in a minute, though, you just have faith! (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Windjar.gifYou acquire an item: jar full of wind (??% chance)*
Potion4.gifYou acquire an item: Mortimer's nostrum (??% chance)*

Occurs at The Maelstrom of Lovers.