More Locker Than Morlock

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More Locker Than Morlock
More Locker Than Morlock

In one of the dusty tunnels of Itznotyerzitz Mine, you find a very tall locker. Because you're the kind of Adventurer who always checks the coin return of a pay phone, just in case, you jiggle the handle, and it turns out that the locker's owner forgot to actually lock it. Making it, I suppose, less of a locker and more of a... present for you.

Would you like to take advantage of his absent-mindedness?

Open the locka'

The locker contains a safety vest. Not very safe of the dwarf to leave it behind.

Lightvest.gifYou acquire an item: safety vest


The locker contains nine pairs of pants. You rifle through them and find the one pair that would actually fit you.

Whitepants.gifYou acquire an item: miner's pants


The locker contains a mattock and four golf clubs. You hate golf, so you take the mattock.

Mattock.gifYou acquire an item: 7-Foot Dwarven mattock


You open the locker. There is nothing inside but a picture of a very tall, very ugly female dwarf, and a helmet. Oh well.

Wait. That helmet is actually totally useful.

Minerhat.gifYou acquire an item: miner's helmet

Get to the choppa' (which is outside)

Afraid that you might find out what kind of jockstraps a 7-foot dwarf wears, you take your leave.

Occurs at Itznotyerzitz Mine.


  • Choosing the second option does not cost you an adventure.
  • The locker seems to give an outfit piece chosen randomly from the set of outfit pieces you do not currently have in your inventory. If you already have all the outfit pieces, and you have Torso Awaregness, then you get the safety vest.


  • “Get to the choppa!” is a frequently quoted line uttered by Major Alan “Dutch” Schaefer (played by Arnold Schwarzenegger) in the 1987 film Predator.