|Hit Points||75% of Defense|
|Attack||Player's Moxie+3, min 10|
|Defense||Player's Muscle+3, min 10|
|Monster Parts||head, torso, arm, car|
This guy works in the bootlegging underground, smuggling all the booze he can fit into his tiny little car. Don't mess with him or you'll get pelted with a tommy gun loaded with hard candy.
He drives his tiny car over your feet. Eek! Ooh! Oof! Ugh! Argh! Oof! Argh! Ooh! Argh! Ow!
He pelts you with hard candy. It's sweet, but painful. Argh! Ugh! Ouch! Ugh! Oof! Ooh! Ow! Ugh! Ouch! Argh!
He honks his tiny car horn at you. It's surprisingly, ear-bleedingly loud. Ouch! Ooh! Ow! Eek! Ooh! Argh! Ouch! Oof! Ouch! Argh!
He pulls a tiny tire iron out of his trunk (or "lorry," if you're british) and hucks it at you. Ooh! Eek! Oof! Ouch! Ooh! Argh! Oof! Oof! Ooh! Ooh!
He whips off his fez and whips you with the tassel. Ouch! Oof! Eek!
He pulls a pair of gloves out of his glove box and smacks you with them, duel-challenge style. Ow! Oof! Eek!
He squirts moonshine all over you, then flicks a match your direction. You go up in a puff of smoke, a sheet of flame, and severeal agon Argh! Ooh! Ouch! Ow! Argh! Ugh! Ooh! Argh! Oof! Ow!
He throws a tiny tire iron at you, but you dodge until you're tired.
He whips off his fez, and you mock the bald dome underneath.
He honks his tiny car horn at you. It's adorable.
He drives his tiny car toward you, but you step out of the way.
He throws hard candy at you, but you catch it in your mouth.
He tries to smack you with gloves from his glove box, but you dodge.
He ponders hosing you down with moonshine and lighting you on fire, but doesn't want to take the loss of a whole carload of hooch. So he just sits there, idling. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain 16-24 Meat.|
|You acquire an item: throwing candy (20% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: 4-dimensional fez (2% chance)*|
|You gain ? <substat>.|
Occurs at Moonshiners' Woods.