Monster Manuel (Z)

There are 25 creatures filed under Z.

Monster Manuel Entries

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Other

		?		Z-Rex In England they call these Zed Rexes. The best place to hide from a Zed Rex is in the boot of your lorry. You could also take the lift up to your flat -- they won't be able to reach the buttons with those tiny little arms.
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		0		Zeppo, the Reindeer Though rarely remarked upon, "The other guy" is a vital component of any violent gang. He originally called himself Gummo, but changed it when Doc suggested removing all of his teeth to match. He'd like to stand out more as a gang member, but even he can't think of any particular personality traits to focus on.
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		200		Zim Merman Zim's personal favorite of his songs is "Blowininnawin." Personally, I prefer "Tangadapinblew." To be fair, Zim doesn't always sing unintelligibly through his nose. Sometimes he plays the harmonica.
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		20		zmobie Most people become brain-dead automatons of evil when they become a zmobie, but this one wasn't that bright to begin with. A single old-school zmobie is about as threatening as a single beer; you have to have a couple dozen before they can really mess you up. It's a myth that zmobies only eat brrrains. They'll eat whatever they can get, but the brrrains are the tastiest part.
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		19		zobmie Zobmies are a little bit faster than zmobies, but less intelligent. Zobmies aren't as picky as zmobies. Sure, they like some brrrrains, but they'll take a calf or a thigh in a pinch. Zobmies spread their contagion via scratching, whereas zmobies spread theirs by biting.
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		25		Zol Zol would prefer that you kneel before them, but that's not terribly likely. The plural of Zol is 'Zol.' All Zol share a hivemind, and a toothbrush. It's pretty gross.
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		20		zombie apathetic lizardman yeah um okay so I guess factoids ok
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		20		Zombie Baby AIIIIIIIGH! ZOMBIE BABY! Actually, that's not so horrible. I mean, a full-grown zombie can be a challenge, but a baby can be drop-kicked. Not that I'm saying you should drop-kick regular babies. Just zombie babies.
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		5		zombie chef The zombie chef's specialty is Brains a la Brains. He's also been known to cook up some Brains Surprise with Brains Fricaseed in Butter. You know, I'd eat just about anything fried in garlic and butter. Snails, frog legs, human brains, whatever.
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		19		Zombie Clown Actually I guess zombie clowns aren't really any scarier than the regular kind. I mean, regular clowns still want to eat your brains. And zombie clowns don't talk at you.
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		171		zombie duck Since normal ducks have glassy eyes, limited speech capacity, and smell bad, it's hard to identify a genuine zombie duck without checking for putrefaction. Zombie ducks cannot fly, but they can still swim. Zombie duck eggs are a delicacy in Distant Lands. No, seriously, we promise. Try one.
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		74		Zombie eXtreme Snowboarding Orc I was gonna suggest his snowboard was made out of the bones of people he's killed, but honestly that would never work. You could probably distract him with a fake brain made of snow. I bet he falls for that all the time. Why is he wearing mittens? It's not like he's gonna notice if he gets frostbite.
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		41		zombie frat boy At least all the body-spray masks the scent of rotting flesh. Or at least it would, if it didn't itself smell like that. A joke: "My brain has no capacity to process olfactory data." "Really? How do you smell?" "I don't know!"
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		11		zombie Gnollish crossdresser I'm trying to come up with a zombie related pun on the word 'burlesque', but not really getting anything. If you know a good pun relating both to zombies and burlesque, you can send it on a postcard to our home office in Sioux City, Iowa. If you're lucky, someone will even read it! But not anyone I know.
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		130		Zombie Goth Giant Yeah, he would have preferred to be a vampire, obviously, but you take what you can get, right? At least he can still do those slow gothy dances when he goes out clubbing. "I do not eat... anything except brains."
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		41		zombie hippy Tofu brains are sold under the name "tofains", because "brainfu" sounds like a martial art. Note that we used the "graaaaains" joke here and not on the zombie made of yeast. What the hell was wrong with us Some zombie hippies experimented with making windchimes out of brains, but they were more like "windblops".
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		?		Zombie Homeowners' Association The Zombie Homeowners' Association recently won an award for the best kept graveyard in Dreadsylvania. If it were up to the Zombie Homeowners' Association, literally everything would be against the rules. They just enjoy petty tyranny, that's all. The Zombie Homeowners' Association is acting in the interests of everyone in the neighborhood. Really, they're doing you a favor by making you replace your lawn furniture with functionally identical but way more expensive lawn furniture.
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		2		Zombie Knob Goblin Assistant Chef Zombies are particularly attracted to chefs, because of their tall hats. Also, constant long-term exposture to spices makes their brains taste better. Zombie chefs particularly like cooking brains because they come in their own serving bowls.
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		79		Zombie N00b To be fair, it's not like he can just graaarrrrrrtfm. I suppose he could find an old zombie to be his mentor or tutor, but most old zombies either rot and fall apart, or get their heads blown off. Honestly, look, all zombies are just faking competence. Some hide it better than others, that's all.
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		95		Zombie Quiet Healer See, if zombies really knew what they were doing, they'd just capture one or two guys to harvest brains from, and have the healer regenerate them over and over. Then they wouldn't have to spend so much time and energy on hunting, and could work on improving themselves and zombie society. Eventually it would all break down, of course, because the zombie 1% would figure out a way to trick the masses into letting them have all the brains for themselves.
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		65		zombie waltzers When the waltz was first introduced, many people considered it to be obscene, because the dancers actually touched each other. Who knows what they would have thought of modern dances, where dancers frequently end up wearing each others' underwear. A waltz is a good dance for zombies in an advanced state of decomposition, because its relatively slow pace and gliding movements are unlikely to jar any loose parts. Many zombies use the waltz as a transitional dance, before they fully decompose into skeletons and advance to the more complicated tap dancing routines.
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		17		zombie yeast beast Wait. Wait wait wait. Did we seriously do a bread-related zombie without making the "graaaaains" joke? What is this world coming to, I mean come on.
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		20		zombie zmobie Would a zombie zombie even eat brains? Maybe they would need, like, double-brains. Like it would just eat your brain's brain.
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		10		zombie-huntin' feller If you mounted a machine gun on the front of your pick-up truck and a pair of chrome testicles on the back, you might be a zombie-huntin' feller. If you own more guns than you do pairs of underwear, you might be a zombie-huntin' feller. If your only response to other human beings is to wish that they were undead shambling monstrosities so you could kill them without consequences, you might be a zombie huntin' feller.
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		500		Zombo Zombo's crotch-skull and knee-skulls are sentient and capable of speech. Zombo's currently working on a barbershop quartet routine that'll slay 'em at the next Hobopolis talent show. Zombo used to be a regular hobo, until he deciphered some hobo code that no hobo was meant to decipher (which makes you wonder why some hobo ciphered it in the first place, honestly). Zombo is feared and hated by regular hobos, and he fears and hates them right back.
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References

• "You might be a zombie-huntin' feller" jokes are highly reminiscent of "you might be a redneck" jokes.