Modern zmobie

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Modern zmobie
Monster ID 1070
Locations The Defiled Alcove
Hit Points 50
Attack 60
Defense 54
Initiative 300
Meat 48-72
Phylum undead
Elements spooky
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
modern zmobie You're fighting a modern zmobie

As you're darting from place to place in the Alcove like some sort of grave-robbing cheetah, you encounter something moving even faster than you.

It's a zmobie, but it's not your grandfather's zmobie (George Romero is your grandfather, right?) -- It's one of those new-fangled super fast zmobies. And man, does it have a mean look on its face.

Hit Message(s):

It leaps at you, howling, and bites you in the knee, which makes you do some howling of your own. Ooh! Ooh! Ow!

It sprints over, bites you on the giblets, snarls, then sprints away before you can blink. Dayumn. Eek! Ow! Ow!

It bites you in the groin, which goes bad and starts attacking the rest of you. If only you could cut it off with a chainsaw. . . Argh! Ouch! Oof!

It does a few one-handed push-ups, then punches through your sternum. Now it's just showing off. Eek! Eek! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

It bites you in the thigh, which goes bad and starts attacking the rest of you. If only you could cut it off with a chainsaw. . . Ow! Ooh! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

It stops to do some calisthenics. Zombiecise?

It stops to tie its running shoes.

It snarls and drools a little, but doesn't attack this round.

It sprints over to bite you, but trips on its own exposed shinbone.

Fumble Message:

You say, "wait, so are you a decomposing corpse? Because if so, you're way too fast. Are you some kind of plague-infected living person, then? Because if so, then you're not technically a zombie." It pauses to ponder the conundrum of its existence. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 48-72 Meat (average: 60, stdev: 5.29)*

Occurs at The Defiled Alcove.


  • While on the quest to get rid of the evil in The Cyrpt, a winning combat terminates with:
You sigh with relief as the especially evil zmobie grunts his last.
Your Evilometer emits five quick beeps.
  • Increasing your Combat Initiative will increase the occurrence of this encounter. The encounter rate is [15 + Init/10]%, which means that having +850% init will guarantee zmobie modernity. Negative initiative reduces the base chance of encountering a modern zmobie, therefore -150% initiative would make it impossible to encounter one.
  • Due to the nature of Superlikely adventures, the chance of encountering a modern zombie can also be increased by lowering your Combat Frequency, as Turn Your Head and Coffin can be skipped at no adventure cost.
  • Can be sniffed, but with no effect.
  • Encountering this monster outside of The Defiled Alcove will still decrease the evil for The Defiled Alcove. For example: encountering via Fire a badly romantic arrow.


  • George Romero directed Night of the Living Dead, the film that created the concept of the shambling, flesh-hungry undead as zombies, as well as several follow-up movies that follow the same basic ground rules. In his Diary of the Dead, where the characters are making a movie-within-a-movie about a mummy attack, the director character yells at the mummy actor that he can't run while dead because his ankles would snap off.
    • When his Dawn of the Dead was remade, all the zombies got much faster.
  • Cutting off an infected bit with a chainsaw is a reference to Evil Dead II, where main character Ash uses a chainsaw to cut off his own hand after it is possessed by a demon.
  • The question about the zombie being "some kind of plague-infected living person" refers to 28 Days Later, which features such people. Despite being lumped in with them, it is not actually a zombie film. Romero made a somewhat similar film called The Crazies, which features similar infected.
    • When The Crazies was remade, all the non-zombies got much faster, too.