Mob Penguin entrepreneur
|Mob Penguin entrepreneur|
|Locations||An Illicit Bohemian Party|
|Hit Points||75% of Defense|
|Attack||Player's Moxie+3, min 10|
|Defense||Player's Muscle+3, min 10|
|Monster Parts||head, leg, torso, wing, beak|
This Mob Penguin is a legitimate businessman. He's simply providing refreshments and for an informal gathering of friends, charging a nominal fee for his services and inventory. It would be unwise to pry further into these matters.
He headbutts you in the crotch. Ooh! Eek! Ow!
He slaps you with a flipper. What a flippin' slapper! Ooh! Oof! Ugh!
He slips a brass fin over his flipper and smacks you with it. Ugh! Eek! Ow!
He whacks you with his cane, which sloshes suspiciously. Oof! Eek! Ooh!
He says, "do you think I'm funny? Am I penguin clown to you? I'm an emperor penguin!" and smacks you with a flipper. Eek! Eek! Oof!
He kicks you with his knobbly penguin feet. Ugh! Ooh! Ow!
He says, "pasta fazool, what a mook!" and slaps you with both flippers, then finishes with several blows from his cane. Ooh! Eek! Oof!
He asks if you think he's funny. You reply that you don't find him in the slightest bit amusing.
He tries to slap you with a flipper, but you easily step out of range.
He slips a brass fin over his flipper, but that makes it too heavy for him to smack you.
He tries to headbutt you, but you're too tall.
He tries to whack you with his cane, but you dodge.
He tries to kick you, but he's too short to connect.
He drops his cane, and some liquid leaks out from where the shaft meets the top. "You didn't see nothin'!" he shouts, screwing it on tighter. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain Meat.|
|You acquire an item: law-abiding citizen cane (2% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: legitimate business on the beach (20% chance)*|
Occurs at An Illicit Bohemian Party.