Mismatched Twins

Mismatched Twins
Monster ID	1242
Locations	Twin Peak
Hit Points	100
Attack	91
Defense	85
Initiative	50
Meat	48-72
Phylum	dude
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops artisanal limoncello, giant motorcycle boots
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting some Mismatched Twins

In a clearing in the hedge maze, you see a giant, musclebound man dancing with a midget who only comes up to his knees. "Oh, thank goodness," you say, "I'm so sick of twins."

"Vhat are you talking about?" the giant says, in a heavy Austrian accent. "Ve are identical twins!"

The midget nods. "Sniwt lacitnedi."

"Are you sure? Because you're huge, and he's tiny, and . . . oh, great," you say, as identical scowls cloud their faces, and two tiny fists and two huge fists are clenched.

Hit Message(s):

The midget does a weird little dance and recites poetry backwards, seriously freaking you out.Argh! Ooh! (spooky damage)

The giant hurls the midget at you. He lands on your shoulders and yanks your ears until they almost come off. Oof! Oof!

The giant hits you in the head with a fist as big as ... well, as big as your head. Ow! Oof!

The giant kicks you in the head while the midget pummels your groin. Ugh! Eek!

The midget punches you in the lower back with his tiny little fist, proving size doesn't matter. Ooh! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

The giant holds you down while the midget dances all over you, leaving miniature shoeprints in places you'd rather not have shoes print. Oof! Oof! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

The giant tries to deliver a rousing soliloquy, but his heavy accent just makes it sound ridiculous.

The midget tries to hurl the giant at you and fails. You suggest they try it the other way around.

The giant swings his giant fist at you, but you dodge.

The midget tries a flying kick at your head, but it glances harmlessly off your sternum.

The midget runs at you throwing punches, but you put your hand on his head and hold him at arms length, where he can't hit you.

Fumble Message:

The giant runs at you, but trips over the midget, and they both go sprawling in the dust. (FUMBLE!)

---

After Combat

You gain 48-72 Meat. (average: 60, stdev: 5.29)*

You acquire an item: artisanal limoncello (15.9% chance)*

You acquire an item: giant motorcycle boots (4.8% chance)*

You gain ? <substat>.

Notes

• This monster counts as a group (of size two). It takes manifold damage from area-of-effect skills such as Wave of Sauce.

References

• The twins are a reference to the film Twins, in which Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito play long-lost twins.
• The giant with the accent and the midget speaking backwards are references to The Giant and The Man from Another Place, characters from Twin Peaks.