Mind Your Business

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Mind Your Business
Mind Your Business

You stroll down the series of seedy dive bars by the Pirate's Cove, exchanging 'arr' and 'avast's with the pirates you pass. You see a sign that says "Pirate Astrologist: Get Your Harrrroscope," and follow it through a beaded curtain and into a dimly lit room dominated by a card (carrrd?) table with a crystal ball on it. Behind the table is a woman doesn't so much have a hairy mole on her chin so much as her hairy mole has a chin under it.

"Come, sit," she says. "Let Madame Business tell you your future." She actually says all of that with a ridiculously fake Jamaican accent, but you'll have to take my word for it.

You sit down at the table opposite her. She makes a few passes in front of the crystal ball, stares piercingly at you, then gazes intently into the ball.

"I see... much trouble ahead for you..." she says. "You are overly aligned with the mystical forces, and you have neglected your true pirate nature."

"Oh, that's okay, I'm not really a --" you say.

"Hush hush," she says. "Madame Business will help you." She takes a handful of sand from a pouch on her necklace, scatters it on the table, then squeezes a lemon from her hat over the sand.

"There," she says, "I have given you the mystical and unscrupulous Third Eye Patch. It will help bring balance to your pirate self."

"Uh, don't you mean 'inscrutable,' not 'unscrupulous?'" you ask. "Child," she says, "words may be your business, but they are none of Madame Business, okay?"

You stagger out into the street, confused and irritated.

Eyepatch.gifYou acquire an effect: Third Eye Blind
(duration: 10 Adventures)

Occurred at The Obligatory Pirate's Cove (in disguise, Bad Moon only).


  • The fortune teller's ridiculously fake Jamaican accent is probably a reference to Miss Cleo.
  • For those who miss the pun, try saying it like "Mah Damn Business."