Migratory pirate

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Migratory pirate
Monster ID 720
Locations every 25-35 adventures on Talk Like a Pirate Day from IV onwards
Hit Points Equal to player HP
Attack Scales with player stats
Defense Scales with player stats
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum pirate
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
black spot, can of Binarrrca
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
migratory pirate You're fighting a migratory pirate

This be a pirate who was cursed to take up an oar and walk inland until some land-lubber asks him what he's carrying. Unfortunately for him, the Kingdom be on a very small continent where people regular[sic] take vacations to the Shore, savvy, so it looks like he'll be wandering for quite some time.

If ye be wondering why he doesn't just say, "Avast, ye scurvy swab! Ask me what this be," you're not the only one.

Hit Message(s):

He pegs you in the leg with his pegleg. Ouch! Eek! Argh! Eek!

He hits ye upside the head with his oar, ready oar not. Argh! Eek! Ow!

He arrrbitrarily smacks you in the <solar plexus>. Eek! Ugh! Ow!

He knocks your legs out from under ye with his oar. That pirate be trippin'. Oof! Ouch! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

He breaks down and shouts, "ask me what this thing I be carrying... uh... be!" You say, "it's an oar, dummy. You use it for rowing a boat, or hitting people in the <thigh> . . . wait, wait . . ." Ouch! Ow! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

He arrrbitrarily decides to not attack this round.

He tries to bash ye upside the head with his oar, but ye be quicker than he be, jeebees.

He tries to knock your legs out from under ye, but ye keeps your legs where they need be.

He tries to peg you in the leg with his pegleg, but you've read enough Dan Savage to know to avoid it.

Fumble Message:

He breaks down and says, "I be so tired of travelin' with this here oar!" You say, "oh, that's what that thing is? I was just about to ask." He starts to cry. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Spray.gifYou acquire an item: can of Binarrrca (? chance)*
Luckycap.gifYou acquire an item: black spot (? chance)*

Occurs randomly on Talk Like a Pirate Day.

References

  • This pirate is a reference to the Odyssey -- after he gets home and he slays his wife's suitors, Odysseus is to take an oar and go inland until he finds a village where no one has heard of the sea or Neptune. There, he is to plant the oar and dedicate it to Neptune. Then he is to go back to his home, and slaughter 500 cattle to every god, and then he will die in peace, and in favor to all the gods.
  • Dan Savage is an advice columnist who conducted a poll which decided on "pegging" as a euphemism for a specific sex act.