Mer-kin trainer

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Mer-kin trainer
Monster ID 841
Locations Mer-kin Gymnasium
Hit Points 800
Attack 750
Defense 700
Initiative 75
Meat unknown
Phylum mer-kin
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts arm, head, tail, torso
Drops
Mer-kin strongjuice, Mer-kin stopwatch
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Mer-kin trainer You're fighting a Mer-kin trainer

This Mer-kin is responsible for training the mighty gladiators who fight for the glory of Gol-Eejee, the Ancient God of Violence. Like any good coach, he's proficient in all the weapons he trains, even though he's kind of doughy and out-of-shape and spends more time yelling at referees than anything else.

Every good coach does that, right? Right?

Hit Message(s):

He beans you in the ankle with the dodgeball. What part of 'dodgeball' didn't you understand? Oh, yeah, the 'dodge' part. Ugh! Eek! Oof!

He rolls up a towel and snaps you on the<shins>[sic]. Now that was just uncalled for. Eek! Ouch! Oof!

He drags a net over you and beats the stuffing out of you. And the tar. And the crap. Ugh! Oof! Oof!

He stabs your <arse> with a switchblade. Man, I hate it when people get all stabby. Oof! Ow! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

He beans you with a dodgeball, tangles you in a dragnet, and slashes you with a switchblade. Then he tells you to go hit the showers, but you decline. Eek! Ugh! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

He throws the dodgeball at you, but misses by a country league.

He tries to whip you with a wet towel, but gets confused why people need towels deep under the sea.

He tries to drag a net over you, but gets winded and has to stop.

He tries to stab you with a switchblade, but he's moving slow enough that you can dodge.

Fumble Message:

He stops attacking to make sure all of his gladiators are using enough soap in the showers. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Watch.gifYou acquire an item: Mer-kin stopwatch (5% chance)*
Potion13.gifYou acquire an item: Mer-kin strongjuice (25% chance)*

Occurs at Mer-kin Gymnasium.

Notes

  • This monster has a soft damage cap that kicks in if your attack would do more than 600 damage. The actual damage done in that case is (X-600)^.75 + 600, where X is the damage your attack would have done without the cap.