Mer-kin diver

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Mer-kin diver
Monster ID 761
Locations The Marinara Trench
Hit Points 700
Attack 475
Defense 427
No-Hit 485
Initiative 75
Meat 160-240
Phylum mer-kin
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, tail, torso
Drops
Mer-kin foodbucket, Mer-kin hookspear, Mer-kin pressureglobe, Mer-kin thingpouch
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Mer-kin diver You're fighting a Mer-kin diver

That's odd -- you hardly ever see Mer-kin down this far. You wonder what he's up to, but after a little while your wonder is replaced with alarm at the fact that he's just noticed you, and then your alarm is replaced with anxiety about the big pointy spear he raises in your direction.

Hit Message(s):

He swats you on the <head> with the blunt end of his spear. Argh! Ouch! Ouch! Argh! Ouch! Argh! Argh! Oof! Ugh!

He hurls some kind of glass globe at you. It hits your <shins>, shatters, and surrounds you with boiling water. Yeeowch! Argh! Argh! Ugh! Eek! Oof! Ooh! Argh! Argh! Ugh! (hot damage)

He hooks you around the neck with the crook of his spear. I guess he's got you both by hook and by crook. Ow! Argh! Argh! Ugh! Oof! Oof! Eek! Argh! Ouch!

With a deft thrust of his spear, he impales your ankle. At least now you won't have to pay to get it pierced. Eek! Ouch! Ouch! Ow! Ugh! Ouch! Ow! Argh! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

He slices you open from <throat> to <ear>, then rubs some sea salt in the wound. Boy oh boy, are these guys jerks. Ouch! Argh! Argh! Ugh! Ouch! Argh! Eek! Eek! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

He hurls some kind of glass globe at you, but you dive out of the way. It's a good thing this water is deep enough to dive.

He pokes you with his spear, but he accidentally uses the blunt end instead of the sharp end. Not to put too fine a point on it, it doesn't hurt a bit.

He tries to stab you with his spear, but he misses and gets the spear stuck in a nearby anemone. With anemones like these, who needs friends?

He tries to hook you around the neck with his spear, but you duck like a vaudevillian dodging tomatoes.

He seems determined to get you by hook or by crook, but neither one works out for him.

Fumble Message:

He raises his spear to intimidate you, but ends up dropping it further down into the trench. He blushes as he swims down to retrieve it. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 160-240 Meat (average: 200, stdev: 16.73)*
Pail.gifYou acquire an item: Mer-kin foodbucket (15% chance)*
Hookspear.gifYou acquire an item: Mer-kin hookspear (2% chance)*
Pressureglobe.gifYou acquire an item: Mer-kin pressureglobe (10% chance)*
Coinpurse.gifYou acquire an item: Mer-kin thingpouch (25% chance)*

Occurs at The Marinara Trench.

References

  • The miss message about it being a good thing that the water is "deep enough to dive" is a reference to the Live song "The Dam at Otter Creek".
  • A merkin is a pubic wig, this creature is most-likely another allusion to "muff diving".
  • The miss message about anemones is a reference to the old saying "With friends like these, who needs enemies?"