|Locations||Anywhere, after completing A Dark and Dank and Sinister Quest|
|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
You are interrupted by a man who appears to have been built entirely out of muscle and scars, who blocks your path and looks you up and down.
"Hey, you. You <Player Name>?" He squints at you, then at a crumpled piece of paper. "Yeah, dat's you all right."
"What do you want?"
"Some guy inna bar gave me a lotta meat ta beat nine kindsa hell outta ya. You'll haveta keep track of that yerself though, I don't count so good."
"Oh yeah?" you sneer, readying your weapon. "You and what army?"
"I don't got no army, but I got my buddies Lead-pipe Eddie and Jimmy the Neckbreaker," he says as two more nearly-identical thugs step out of the shadows and grin at you. "Howzat?"
"That'll do just fine," you gulp.
"Thug", it turns out, is the sound of a massive fist connecting with your <kidney>. Ugh! Ugh! Ouch!
You offer the thug some meat to not beat you up, but he's the kind of loyal thug that stays bought. Ooh! Argh! Eek!
The thugs practice their knot-tying skills, using your spine as the rope. Eek! Ouch! Ooh!
The thugs tally up another kind of hell beaten out of you. Ooh! Ooh! Oof!
A thug picks you up by your ankles and thumps your head against the ground a few times. Ouch! Oof! Ooh!
One of the thugs pops his neck menacingly, then pops your neck painfully. Oof! Oof! Eek!
Ironically, it turns out that Jimmy the Neckbreaker is the guy with the lead pipe, and Lead-pipe Eddie is the guy who breaks necks. Huh. Ugh! Eek! Ooh!
One of the thugs pops his neck menacingly. Why do all thugs do that?
The thug tries to bash your brains out, but you outbrain him.
He regales you with a story about thug life. It's kind of entertaining.
A thug lunges at you, but about as quickly as a glacier made of meat, and you step out of the way.
One of the thugs takes a moment to crack his knuckles loudly and elaborately. Eurgh.
You manage to avoid having a kind of hell beaten out of you. Why you want so badly to keep it in there, I don't know.
The thugs take a quick break for Gatorade and protein shakes. They don't offer you any, the jerks. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain 158 Meat|
|You gain 13 <substat>.|
- Appears to occur at any adventure.php location, and will only occur after you defeat your nemesis in The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave.
- This monster may be encountered while falling-down drunk (and while in a St. Sneaky Pete's Day Stupor)
- This monster can override Clover Adventures.
- This monster can override the Between a Rock and Some Other Rocks non-combat.
- You will not encounter this monster until your unbuffed mainstat is at least 45, and after your first encounter, it will reoccur regularly until your mainstat reaches 60, at which point it will be replaced by a higher-level monster, the Mob Penguin hitman.
- After this enemy is encountered and defeated, the following text appears under Guild Quests:
- Me and My Nemesis
- You handily dispatched some thugs who were trying to collect on your bounty, but something tells you they won't be the last ones to try.
- Or, if you encountered this enemy and fled or got beaten up:
- Me and My Nemesis
- It appears as though some nefarious ne'er-do-well has put a contract on your head!
- Gee, I wonder who it could be...