Marcus Macurgeon

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Marcus Macurgeon
Monster ID 1133
Locations The Maelstrom of Lovers
Hit Points 75% of Monster Defense
Attack Player's Moxie+2 (min 10, max 150)
Defense Player's Muscle+2 (min 10, max 150)
Initiative 50
Meat None
Phylum undead
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts unknown
Drops
jar full of wind, jar full of wind, jar full of wind, purple prose pen
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Marcus Macurgeon You're fighting Marcus Macurgeon

Marcus Macurgeon, all sallow and paunchy,
Wrote volumes of poetry terribly raunchy.
He wrote with no shortage of details explicit,
To tell of encounters bizarre and illicit,
Of creams and of oils and of sweaty exertion,
He catalogued every unseemly perversion!
So all were surprised to hear Marcus Macurgeon
Lived all alone and he died still a virgin.

Hit Message(s):

The next poem he reads isn't raunchy or dirty
Just painfully bad and unbearably wordy.

He reads you a rather lascivious rondel,
In which there is many a grope and a fondle. (sleaze damage)

He reads you a rather risque villainelle,
With some unlikely acts by a young mademoiselle. (sleaze damage)

He reads you a limerick ribald and ripe,
The rhyme that he puts at the end of it: Yipe! (sleaze damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He reads you a poem that's so naughty, you blush,
That blush makes your cheeks flush and your veins turn to mush! (sleaze damage)

Miss Message(s):

He reads you a poem but you block both your ears
So you don't hear about all those boobies and rears.

He asks if you'd like a quick roll in the hay,
You decline, to which he responds, "oh. Okay."

You turn a deaf ear to the poems that he's reading
And thus you are spared from a bout of ear-bleeding.

He tells you a tale of a girl and a sheep,
But you just count sheep until you're fast asleep.

Marcus's muse strikes, so he leaves the fight,
To write poems of more sordid deeds done in the night.

Fumble Message:

Marcus's muse strikes, so he leaves the fight,
To write poems of more sordid deeds done in the night. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Windjar.gifYou acquire an item: jar full of wind (100% chance)*
Windjar.gifYou acquire an item: jar full of wind (??% chance)*
Windjar.gifYou acquire an item: jar full of wind (??% chance)*
Purplepen.gifYou acquire an item: purple prose pen (20% chance)*

Occurs at The Maelstrom of Lovers.