Malevolent Tofurkey

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Malevolent Tofurkey
Monster ID 314
Locations Appears about every 30 adventures on Feast of Boris
Hit Points 75% of Player HP
Attack Player's Buffed Moxie - 3
Defense Player's Buffed Muscle - 3
Initiative 100
Meat None
Phylum beast
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, leg
tofurkey nugget, packet of tofurkey gravy (below level 5); tofurkey gravy, tofurkey leg (level 5 and above)
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Malevolent Tofurkey You're fighting a Malevolent Tofurkey

This is a wad of gelatinous, theoretically edible muck that has been formed into the shape of a turkey. That alone would be bad enough, but its[sic] also been animated by some kind of dark mystical energy. You should have recognized its fowl stench when you came on board.

Hit Message(s):

It scratches you with its gelatinous talons. Great, now you have hippy in your bloodstream. Oof! Ooh! Oof!

It pecks at you with its gelatinous beak. It doesn't hurt much, but it does hurt some. Ow! Ugh! Ow!

It pummels you with its boneless wings. It wouldn't hurt, but some of it accidentally gets in your mouth. Ooh! Ugh! Argh! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

It does a wild kamikaze dive directly at your mouth. Aargh! Oof! Ow! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

It scratches at you with its gelatinous talons, but can't break your thick skin.

It tries to peck you with its gelatinous beak, but it's too soft to penetrate.

It pummels you with its boneless wings, which is about as effective as you'd imagine.

Fumble Message:

You imitate the mating call of the wild vegan, and the tofurkey freezes in terror. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Nugget.gifYou acquire an item: tofurkey nugget
Gravypacket.gifYou acquire an item: packet of tofurkey gravy
Gravy.gifYou acquire an item: tofurkey gravy
Turkeyleg.gifYou acquire an item: tofurkey leg
You gain some <substat>.

Occurs at random locations during the Feast of Boris.



  • The last sentence, regarding the "fowl stench," is a parody of a line delivered by Princess Leia to Governor Tarkin in the movie Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, in which she says, "Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board."