Madame Zatara’s Relationship Fortune Teller
The Fortune Teller may be installed in your VIP Lounge by using a Clan Carnival Game, which is bought from Mr. Store for 3 Mr. Accessories. You may consult with an NPC once per day and consult with a clanmate 3 times per day.
As you approach the Madame Zatara machine, the animatronic fortune-teller's head swivels to face you with a creak, and her eyes light up, literally. Her jaw unhinges in that creepy ventriloquist dummy way, and she speaks:
"Greetings, seeker! Madame Zatara knows all, sees all! Grip the left knob tightly, and have the one whose compatibility you wish to test hold the knob on the right."
She winks at you with a loud click.
You may still consult Madame Zatara about your relationship with a clanmate x times today.
| Consult with Zatara |
| Nevermind |
Consultations
NPCs
Consulting an NPC gives 100 adventures of one of the following effects:
| NPC | Effect | Enchantment |
|---|---|---|
| Susie | A Girl Named Sue | +5 Familiar Weight, +5 Familiar Experience Per Combat, +10 Familiar Damage |
| Hagnk | There's No N in Love | +50% Booze/Food/Item Drops |
| Meatsmith | Meet the Meat | +50% Gear Drops/+100% Meat Drops |
| Gunther, Lord of Smackdown | Gunther Than Thou | +5 Muscle Stats Per Fight, Muscle +100%, Maximum HP +50% |
| Gorgonzola | Everybody Calls Him Gorgon | +5 Mysticality Stats Per Fight, Mysticality +100%, Maximum MP +50% |
| Shifty | They Call Him Shifty Because... | +5 Moxie Stats Per Fight, Moxie +100%, +50% Combat Initiative |
Clan Members
- If you are consulted by a clanmate, you will receive the following notification:
- You have been invited to consult Madame Zatara about your relationship with <clanmate>.
- You do not need to have a Clan VIP Lounge key to be consulted.
- If you do not have a key, clicking the link in the notification takes you to the clan hall and gives the following message:
- You attempt to sneak into the VIP Lounge, but the clan bouncer bounces you. Bounced!
- For clan member consultations, "Any matching pair is the same as any other matching pair. There's no need for any person to keep multiple sets of answers. I think." -Jick, radio show of February 15, 2018
- There was briefly a bug requiring both halves of a matching pair of answers to be all-lowercase in order to work. It was silently fixed sometime on or before February 15, 2018, and now matching answers are completely case-insensitive.
- Replying to a consultation from a clan member while that clan member is in Valhalla will cause the resulting item to be placed in Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage.
- The first consultation of the day with a clan member randomly gives one of the following consumables. Two players are deemed compatible if their favorite foods are part of a matching pair (such as "salt" and "pepper" or "pizza" and "beer"):
| Compatibility | Item | Effect |
|---|---|---|
| Incompatible | swedish massage fish | Food: Size 1/good, gives 40 turns of +5 fishing skill |
| heart-Shaped candy whetstone | Food: Size 1/good; gives 40 turns of +25% candy drops | |
| Bustle Hustler | Booze: Size 1/good; gives 40 turns of +5 pool skill | |
| Third Base | Booze: size 1/good; gives Third Based (40 Adventures) +25% Pickpocket Chance | |
| Compatible | eaves droppers | Adds "Ear Temperature: N°" to target's profile (currently seems to be bugged: only shows on private profile page, not public), starts at 1, and presumably increases by 1 for each use |
| heart cozy | Adds "Heart Temperature: N°" to target's profile (currently seems to be bugged: only shows on private profile page, not public), starts at 1, and presumably increases by 1 for each use | |
| lolsipop | Causes target's next 10 chat messages to be colored randomly. Colorization is randomized per-person, so different people seeing the chat will see different message colors. | |
| personal graffiti kit | puts "graffiti" on target player's profile picture (until rollover); graffiti is random, and changes on each page reload |
- The second consultation of the day with a clan member randomly gives one of the following potions. Two players are deemed compatible if their favourite people are a famous duo (such as "Romeo" and "Juliet", "Batman" and "Robin", "Holmes" and "Watson").
| Compatibility | Item | Effect |
|---|---|---|
| Incompatible | tonic o' banderas | Potion: 20 turns of Bandersnatched. Moxie +5, Ranged Damage +10 |
| bettie page | Potion: 20 turns Paging Betty: Mysticality +5, Spell Damage +10 | |
| fabiotion | Potion: 20 turns of +5 Muscle, +10 weapon damage | |
| heather graham cracker | Potion: 20 turns of Maximum HP +10, Maximum MP +5 | |
| Compatible | Mysterious Black Box | |
| Mysterious Blue Box | ||
| Mysterious Green Box | ||
| Mysterious Red Box |
- The third consultation of the day with a clan member randomly gives one of the following pieces of equipment. Each set of items forms an outfit. Two players are deemed compatible if their favourite words form a linguistic twin (such as "thick" and "thin", "up" and "down", or "null" and "void").
| Compatibility | Item | Effect |
|---|---|---|
| Incompatible | genie's turbane | Hat: Moxie Req. 10: 50 Power, +2 adv/day, HP +10 |
| genie's scimitar | 1-handed sword: Muscle Req. 10: Damage: 5 - 10; , +5 Muscle, +5 weapon damage) | |
| genie's pants | Pants: Moxie Req. 10: 50 Power, +2 PVP Fights per day, Maximum MP +10 | |
| genie's bracers | Accessory: Myst req. 10: +5 Mysticality, +5 Moxie | |
| Compatible | psychic's circlet | Hat: Moxie Req. 35: 100 Power, +3 adv/day, Regenerate 3-6 MP per adventure |
| psychic's crystal ball | Off-Hand: Myst Req. 35: All Attributes +5, Combat Initiative +20% | |
| psychic's pslacks | Pants: Moxie Req. 35: 100 Power, +3 PVP fights/day, Regenerate 5-10 HP per adventure | |
| psychic's amulet | Accessory: Spell Damage +10, Slight Resistance to All Elements (+1) |
- Additionally, you have a rare chance of obtaining one of the following skillbooks:
| Skillbook | Skill |
|---|---|
| How To Get Bigger Without Really Trying | Get Big: Gives effect "Big"; +20% to Muscle, Mysticality, and Moxie. |
| Illustrated Mating Rituals of the Gallapagos | Gallapagosian Mating Call: Makes a monster more likely to seek you out in the future. |
| Convincing People You Can See The Future | Inscrutable Gaze: +10% to all Mysticality Gains |
| Love Potions and the Wizards who Mix Them | Love Mixology: Summon a random Love Potion (only one at a time) |
| They'll Love You In Rhinestones | Acquire Rhinestones: Gives 23-37 rhinestones. (only usable once per day) |
| Silly Little Love Song | Paul's Passionate Pop Song: Regenerate 4-5 MP per adventure |
Clan Member Kmails
When a clan member responds to your consultuation, you receive a KMail with the following message:
<username> completed your relationship fortune test! Here are your results:<first message>: X%
<second message>: Y%
<third message>: Z%
You acquire... something.
- The first message appears to be one of:
- Dining compatibility (first consultation of the day, gives consumable or usable item)
- Conversational compatibility (second consultation of the day, gives potion or mysterious box)
- Romantic compatibility (third consultation of the day, gives equipment)
- The second and third messages appear to be randomly chosen from:
- Ability to agree on what to name a pet
- Bank robbery success chance
- Bowling compatibility
- Business compatibility
- Capacity for putting up with each other's BS
- Chance of enjoying the same movie
- Chance one of you will murder the other
- Chance that you like the same kind of cake
- Chances of enjoying the same movie
- Child-rearing compatibility
- Collective odds of winning the lottery
- Combined credit rating
- Combined golfing prowess
- Combined IQ score
- Combined odds of winning a Nobel prize
- Compatibility as bridge partners
- Financial compatibility
- Karaoke compatibility
- Martial Arts compatibility
- Martial Arts golfing prowess
- Odds of agreeing on what "your song" is
- Odds of being baked into a pie together
- Odds of more than one person standing up when the priest says "speak now or forever hold your peace"
- Odds of one of you getting murdered to spur the other into action
- Odds of the two of you being gunned down by the FBI in a high-speed chase
- Odds of the two of you driving off a cliff in a turquoise 1966 Ford Thunderbird convertible
- Odds of the two of you dying in a tragic misunderstanding
- Odds of the two of you outwitting a small-town sheriff
- Odds of winning a three-legged race
- Odds of your landlord mishearing a conversation between the two of you and setting off a wacky misadventure
- Pet preference compatibility
- Pizza preference compatibility
- Skill at riding a bicycle built for two
- Travel compatibility
- Clan member responses (and items) can be received in Hardcore.
Notes
- The opening text varies with each visit, particularly the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs:
"Greetings, seeker! Madame Zatara knows all, sees all! Grip the left knob tightly, and have the one whose compatibility you wish to test hold the knob on the right."
"Greetings, lonely heart! Are you looking for that special someone? Place your hand upon the left knob, while the object of your affections holds the knob on the right."
"Don't be shy, true believer! I sense a soulmate in your future! Place your hand upon the left knob, and have the one whose compatibility you wish to test hold the knob on the right."
"Don't be shy, true believer! Are you looking for that special someone? Place your hand upon the left knob, while a potential paramour holds the knob on the right."
"Welcome, lonely heart! Madame Zatara knows all, sees all! Place your hand upon the left knob, while the object of your affections holds the knob on the right."
"Welcome, true believer! Are you looking for that special someone? Hold the left knob in your hand, and have the one whose compatibility you wish to test hold the knob on the right."
"Welcome, lonely heart! The spirits informed me of your desire! Grasp the knob on the left, while the object of your affections holds the knob on the right."
She winks at you with a loud click.
"I will tell you if your hearts beat as one!"
"I will tell you if it was meant to be!"
"I will tell you if it is your destiny to be together!"
References
- The KMail message about driving off a cliff in a turquoise 1966 Ford Thunderbird convertible is a reference to the 1991 film Thelma and Louise.
