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You've made your way to the top floor of the asylum, and are standing outside the Director's office, where The Author is undoubtedly holed up. You can tell, because you can hear her voice over the scratching of her pen.

"Batfellow stood outside the Director's office, where he suspected The Author would be waiting," she says. "Refusing to give in to fear, he pushed the door open. SFX: CREEEAAAAK!"

CREEEAAAAK! goes the door as you push it open, and a matching "CREEEAAAAK!" caption appears overhead.

"Batfellow crept nervously into the office to find The Author seated behind the desk, ragged from her unjust imprisonment but no less powerful (and beautiful!) than ever. What hope did he have of stopping someone who could control reality itself?, he thought," she says as she writes.

What hope do you have of stopping someone who-- you punch yourself in the side of the head.

"Knock it off," you growl at the smirking Author.

Fight her

"All right, Author," you growl. "I'm putting a stop to this right now!"

"As he strode toward her," she says, "his boot caught the edge of a loose throw-rug, and he tripped, falling to the ground! SFX: DOOOOF!"

As you sprawl forward, the caption appears: "DOOOOF!"

"I swear to god," you growl, "you are the most interesting and dangerous of all my foes!!"

The Author This monster is a Dude -- (edit metadata)
Batboss author.gif
  • Item Drops: None
  • Meat Drop: None
  • Monster Level: unknownSubstat Gain: unknownMoxie for No Hit*: unknown
  • Monster Defense: unknown
  • Hit Points: 75
  • Initiative: 0
  • Elemental Alignment: None

Maybe not

"Intimidated by The Author's obvious power," she says as she writes, "Batfellow decided to flee the scene."

"I'm not fleeing!" you growl over your shoulder as you leave. "I'll be back!"

"He said, trying not to wet himself."

"Stop that!"

Occurs at Porkham Asylum.