Lollipede

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Lollipede
Monster ID 1111
Locations The Lollipop Forest
Hit Points 30
Attack 20
Defense 20
Initiative 50
Meat None
Phylum bug
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, tail
Drops
lollipop stick, bananagate
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
lollipede You're fighting a lollipede

This is kind of like a gummi worm, in that it's a normally disgusting creature rendered in delicious candy. But this guy is made of hard candy instead of soft gummistuff, and he skitters around on lollipop sticks instead of squirming agreeably down your throat.

Huh. I haven't read the phrase "squirming agreeably down your throat" since I finished Naked Lunch.

Hit Message(s):

He stabs you with a hard candy pincer. You're going to need shots -- either rabies, insulin, or possibly tequila

He stomps on you with a lollipop stick. You feel like such a sucker.

He stabs you with whatever those freaky butt-mandibles on his back are. Yipes and ick.

It bites you with its venomous mandibles and injects pure corn syrup into your nervous system. You twitch so hard you hurt yourself.

Critical Hit Message:

It wraps around you and sinks both its front and butt-mandibles into your tender flesh.

Miss Message(s):

He tries to stab you with his butt-mandibles, but you remember your mother always told you to stay away from centipede's butts.

He tries to stomp on you with a lollipop stick, but you're no sucker, and you see the attack coming.

He tries to stab you with his hard candy pincer, but it breaks off.

It snaps its mandibles at you, pure corn syrup dripping off each fang.

Fumble Message:

You ask it which leg comes after which, and it stops and has to ponder how to run. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Lollistick.gifYou acquire an item: lollipop stick (10% chance)*
Bananagate.gifYou acquire an item: bananagate (1% chance)*

Occurs at The Lollipop Forest.

Notes

The bananagate will only drop if the advent calendar section for December 5 has been punched.

References

  • Naked Lunch is an infamous novel by William S. Burroughs with a great deal of insect imagery you probably don't want to hear about.
  • The miss message about legs refers to the psychological trap known as "Centipede's dilemma," where thinking too hard about something that comes naturally causes you to no longer be able to do it.