Kung Fu Hustler

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For the similarly named adventure see Kung-Fu Hustler.

Kung Fu Hustler

Kung Fu Hustler

Type: Passive
MP Cost: N/A

You're an expert in 1970s movie martial arts. Your hands are so deadly you don't even need weapons.

Improves your unarmed fighting ability

Source: The Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones
Price: N/A
Class: Disco Bandit
Level: N/A
Effect: Grants a number of permanent intrinsic effects as you spend more combats unarmed (having both the weapon slot and the off-hand slot empty).

Triggers on entering Effect Description
1st unarmed combat Kung Fu Fighting Weapon Damage +X, where X is your level * 3
10th unarmed combat Fast as Lightning +50% Combat Initiative
20th unarmed combat A Little Bit Frightening +X Spooky Damage, where X is your level * 3
30th unarmed combat Expert Timing +20% Item Drops from Monsters


  • All the intrinsic effects are removed as soon as any combat is entered while armed.
  • Encountering non-combat adventures while armed does not remove the effects.
  • Rollover does not remove the intrinsic effects.
  • The Disembodied Hand's slot does not need to be left empty.
  • Extremely useful for people who want to do a Way of the Surprising Fist run.
  • Perming this and Master of the Surprising Fist makes one eligible for the Mixed Martial Arts trophy.

Combat Messages

There are a number of combat messages associated with Kung Fu Hustler, after you have the skill, and perform combat unarmed.

Hit Messages

  • You concentrate and unleash an Unpleasant Dolphin Kneeblast for X damage.
  • You hit her with a Dragon Kidney Kick for X damage.
  • You give him the Thousand Hand Slap, give-or-take, for X damage.
  • You do a roundhouse kick with the ferocity of Roadhouse's Patrick Swayze, hitting for X damage.
  • You harness your chi and hit him with the Supple Lasagna Kick for X damage.
  • You land a flying kick on him for X damage.
  • You hit him with a Drunken Monkey Lotus Slap, for X damage.
  • You bust it in the chops with a couple of karate chops for X damage. Is anyone else hungry for pork chops?
  • You invite him to join the foot clan by kicking him for X damage.
  • You harness your chi and hit him with a Bipolar Tiger Elbow for X damage.
  • You concentrate and manage to perform the dreaded Lenticular Python Chop for X damage.

Miss Messages

Before an update on September 5, 2012 removed the ability to miss with normal attacks, missing while attacking unarmed with Kung Fu Hustler gave one of the following messages:

  • You try to unleash an Unpleasant Dolphin Kneeblast, but your knee demands fish before it performs.
  • You attempt a Dragon Kidney Kick, but your chi is unfocused, and it turns into a Bunny Tickle Happy.
  • You try to give it the Thousand Hand Slap, but end up furiously waving at it from a few feet away.
  • You do a roundhouse kick, but get winded halfway through. Maybe you've eaten too many trollhouse cookies.
  • You try to harness your chi, but end up harnessing some chai instead. It's delicious, but not useful in a fight.
  • You try to launch a flying kick, but it gets grounded due to weather conditions.
  • You try to do a Drunken Monkey Lotus Slap, but can only manage to stagger around going "ook."
  • You throw a couple of karate chops, but your skill is too choppy to allow them to connect, so not one chop sticks.
  • You attempt the dreaded Lenticular Python Chop, but can only manage a pork chop, which is delicious, but not at all dangerous.
  • You try for a Bipolar Tiger Elbow, but you're just too depressed to pull it off.


  • Kung Fu Hustle is the American name for a 2004 Hong Kong martial arts comedy.
  • The intrinsic effect names follow the first stanza of the '70s song Kung Fu Fighting: Everybody was kung-fu fighting / Those cats were fast as lightning / In fact it was a little bit frightening / But they fought with expert timing.
  • The Thousand Hand Slap message is a reference to E. Honda from the Street Fighter series.

See Also