Knob Goblin Sous Chef

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Knob Goblin Sous Chef
Monster ID 76
Locations Cobb's Knob Kitchens
Hit Points 15
Attack 20
Defense 18
No-Hit 30
Initiative 60
Meat 16-24
Phylum goblin
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
Knob Goblin spatula, Knob sausage, tomato, wad of dough
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Knob Goblin Sous Chef You're fighting a Knob Goblin Sous Chef

You enter the kitchens and are accosted by one of the low-level Knob Chefs. You've heard about these guys -- they look pretty harmless, but they wield a mean ladle.

Hit Message(s):

He whirls around with a ladleful of hot soup and splashes it all over your <bung>. It hurts more than a ladle bit. Oof! Ooh! (hot damage)

He smacks you in the <ear> with his spatula. It doesn't do much damage, but stings like a stinging thing. Ouch! Ooh!

He whips off his chef's hat and smacks you across the face with it. Boy, Are, Dee does it hurt! Ow! Eek! Ooh!

He pelts you with some rotten tomatoes. You probably shouldn't have told that "take my campsite... PLEASE!" joke. Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

He attacks with his spatula in one hand and a ladle in the other. He ladles out pain and spatulas out suffering in equal proportions, opening a perfectly-seasoned can of whupass on you. Ooh! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to splash you with a ladleful of hot soup, but you remind him that "ladleful" isn't a word.

He swings his spatula at you, but you dodge in Matrix-esque slo-mo. Woah.

He starts to pelt you with rotten tomatoes, but you run away before he can ketchup.

He starts to smack you with his spatula, but you make fun of his hat until he starts crying.

Fumble Message:

He spins his ladle and spatula like a pair of katana, but they clang together in midair and he drops them both. He stands there, embarrassed, for a few minutes. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 16-24 Meat (average: 20, stdev: 2)*
Spatula1.gifYou acquire an item: Knob Goblin spatula (7.2% chance)*
Sausage.gifYou acquire an item: Knob sausage (15.4% chance)*
Tomato.gifYou acquire an item: tomato (14.5% chance)*
Dough.gifYou acquire an item: wad of dough (15.0% chance)*
You gain 5 <substat>.

Occurs at Kitchens.

References

  • One miss mentions the movie The Matrix, and specifically references the rooftop scene where Neo dodges bullets. This effect is an example of "bullet time". The "Woah" in this attack refers to the "Woah" Keanu Reeves made infamous in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure which was also used once in The Matrix.
  • The successful attack which ends "stings like a stinging thing", is a failed metaphor, of the type made famous by Rowan Atkinson in the British television series Blackadder (e.g. "death and disease stalk our land like... two great stalking things").
  • ladleful actually is a word.
  • "Boy, Are, Dee" is a reference to Chef Boyardee.
  • "Take my campsite... PLEASE!" is a reference to the classic corny joke "Take my wife... please!", supposedly coined by stand-up comic Henny Youngman.