Knob Goblin MBA

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Knob Goblin MBA
Monster ID 1064
Locations Cobb's Knob Treasury
Hit Points 20
Attack 25
Defense 22
Initiative 75
Meat 56-84
Phylum goblin
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
meat stack, meat stack, baggie of powdered sugar
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Knob Goblin MBA You're fighting a Knob Goblin MBA

This is a Knob Goblin Accountant fresh out of business school, ready to upend the old establishment and make some serious sirloin doing it. He drives fast, he talks fast, and he never passes up a chance to make a fast buck by pulling a fast one.

His mom is also fast, but that's another story.

Hit Message(s):

He socks you in the jaw. Then he takes off the sock. Argh! Ugh! Oof!

He orchestrates a hostile takeover of your left fist, then makes you punch yourself in the <throat>. Eek! Ugh! Ouch!

He strangles you with his necktie. It hurts even worse because it's a power tie. Ouch! Ooh! Eek!

He somehow swindles you out of your left shinbone. Man, this guy's gooood. Ouch! Argh! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

He punches and kicks you until you're a walking pile of bruises. Apparently, MBA stands for "Master of Bashing Adventures." Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

He lectures you about how greed is good. You yawn.

He stops to jabber on his cell phone about a proposed hostile takeover of Degrassi Knoll.

He takes a minute to polish his giant sunglasses.

He stops to straighten his power tie.

Fumble Message:

He throws several punches that miss, then tries to kick you and trips himself. Apparently, MBA stands for "Multiple Bad Attempts." (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 56-84 Meat (average: 70, stdev: 6.11)*
Meatstack.gifYou acquire an item: meat stack (15% chance)*
Meatstack.gifYou acquire an item: meat stack (15% chance)*
Baggie.gifYou acquire an item: baggie of powdered sugar (15% chance)*
You gain 6 <substat>.

Occurs at Treasury.