Knob Goblin Assistant Chef
|Knob Goblin Assistant Chef|
|Locations||Outskirts of Cobb's Knob, The Haunted Pantry: Trespasser|
|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
This Knob Goblin is currently in training to be a chef. He proudly wields his set of Neophyte Tongs, and whistles a happy cooking song as he prepares to beat you senseless.
He beats you with those tongs. Those tong, tong, tong tong tongs. Eek!
He pokes you in the <kidney> with his red-hot tongs. At least he didn't tong you with his red-hot poker. Ow!
He grabs your <giblets> with his tongs and squeezes. Yeowch! Ow!
He whips off his hat and pokes you with his sharp, pointy ears. You've never heard of pain like this before. Argh!
He whips out another set of tongs, and uses both to give you a thorough tong-lashing. And no, that's not a typo. I know how to spell "tongue." Do you? Eek! Eek!
He tries to beat you with his tongs, but fails miserably. Looks like it's back to the kitchens.
He tries to poke you with his tongs, but you make fun of his silly hat until he goes away crying.
He tries to grab your <nipple> with his tongs, but you evade the tonging.
He whips off his hat and whips you with it. Fortunately, it's all soft and poofy, so it doesn't really hurt.
He tries to give you a thorough tong-lashing, but drops his tongs. They clatter to the ground and he stands there looking embarrassed for a while. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain 7-9 Meat (average: 8, stdev: 0.71)*|
|You acquire an item: chef's hat (32% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: Knob Goblin pants (8% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: Knob Goblin tongs (12% chance)*|
|You gain 1 <substat>.|
- "Those tong, tong, tong tong tongs" refer to Sisqó's 1999 hit "Thong Song".