Knight in White Satin

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Knight in White Satin
Monster ID 68
Locations Whitey's Grove
Hit Points 21
Attack 38
Defense 33
No-Hit 48
Initiative 70
Meat 24-36
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
Drops
white page, white satin pants, white sword, white satin shield
Bounty white lint
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Knight in White Satin You're fighting a Knight in White Satin

This is a Knight in White Satin. He never reaches the end. The end of kicking your ass, that is. Or getting his ass kicked by you. Whichever.

Hit Message(s):

He sings a moody, blue song. You feel a sharp pain in your <kidney>. Argh! Argh!

He smacks you with a stack of letters he's written, never meaning to send. You feel the sting of a hundred papercuts. Argh! Ooh! Ow!

He demands that you bow down and worship satin, then kicks you in the <nipple>. Ow! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

He starts singing his moody, blue song and is joined by an orchestra coating every lyric in sugary strings and overwrought percussion. You pass out and smack your head on a large rock. Oof! Ooh! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

He sings a moody, blue song. You accompany him on the "stab you in the face."

He tries to tell you thoughts he cannot defend, but you refuse to listen.

He demands that you bow down and worship satin, but you demur.

Fumble Message:

He starts to attack again, but is distracted by beauty he had always missed with his eyes before. He spends about ten minutes smelling flowers on the path while you tap your foot and wait. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 24-36 Meat (average: 30, stdev: 2.83)*
Sword.gifYou acquire an item: white sword (15.8% chance)*
Whitepants.gifYou acquire an item: white satin pants (15.2% chance)*
Wshield.gifYou acquire an item: white satin shield (8.2% chance)*
Document thumb.gifYou acquire an item: white page (5% chance)*
Lint.gifYou acquire an item: white lint (100% chance)*
You gain 9-10 <substat>.

Occurs at Whitey's Grove.

History

  • Before June 6, 2007 the original image for the Knight in White Satin depicted the Knight holding the sword by the blade rather than by the hilt. Now the Knight is holding his sword in a much more comfortable fashion.
  • Started dropping white pages on June 9, 2014.

References

  • The title and adventure are a play on The Moody Blues' 1967 opus Nights in White Satin: "Nights in white satin / Never reaching the end..." The knight may also "sing you a moody, blue song", and "letters he's written, never meaning to send" also refers to lyrics from the song ("Letters I've written / never meaning to send")
  • Satin is spelled similar to Satan, which would explain when it says "bow down and worship satin".