Kitchen (The Barracks)

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Kitchen
Kitchen

You step through the door and spend a moment just taking in the sight of the fanciest (and cleanest) kitchen you've ever seen. Gleaming marble countertops, a big professional-style gas stove, two big refrigerators recessed into the wall, a huge shiny copper cylinder covered with gauges and tubes that after a moment's examination you discover to be an espresso machine... Man, banditry must be working out really well for these guys.

The question is, where might someone have left a key in here? In one of the cupboards, maybe? A swinging door in one wall looks like it probably leads to a pantry, maybe they have a hook for keys in there. Or maybe someone might have absent-mindedly left their keys in the fridge while making a sandwich?


Check the cupboards

You rummage through the kitchen cabinets, which are filled with silver and china serving dishes, expensive-looking copper-bottomed pots and pans, various kitchen gadgets such as garlic presses and lemon zesters, and other stuff that you'd expect to find in a fancy kitchen.

Unfortunately, you don't find anything that looks like a key, and nothing else catches your interest.

or:

No key here, unfortunately. Also unfortunately, you hear footsteps behind you. You reach for a frying pan to defend yourself with, then realize that the weapon you've already got would probably be more useful.

Fight!
(Fight a sleepy mariachi)

or:

You spend several minutes searching, but don't find any keys. You steal a fancy silver cheese-slicer instead.

Cheeseslicer.gifYou acquire an item: silver cheese-slicer

or:

You rummage through the kitchen cabinets, which are filled with silver and china serving dishes, expensive-looking copper-bottomed pots and pans, various kitchen gadgets such as garlic presses and lemon zesters, and other stuff that you'd expect to find in a fancy kitchen.You also find, on the counter next to a chrome eight-slot bagel toaster, a fancy brass key. Score! Also: eight slots? Dang!

Srkey1.gifYou acquire an item: hacienda key

Check the pantry

You step into the pantry, which is lined floor to ceiling with shelves containing a wide variety of fancy foodstuffs: tins of caviar, paté, and anchovy filets; jars of olives, capers, and various pickled things, as well as a selection of marmalades and chutneys; boxes of dried saffron, bay leaves, ginger root, and other spices; whole wheels of cheese covered in wax; and so on. Several salamis hang from the ceiling, next to bundles of onions and garlic cloves.

There doesn't seem to be a key to be had in here, sadly, and none of the weird food and ingredients interest you. Well, you'd take the cheese maybe, but you don't much feel like carrying an entire wheel of cheese around with you, particularly on a stealth mission.

or:

There doesn't seem to be a key to be had in here, sadly. You look for something else to take, just so this won't have been a total waste of time, but you have no idea what you'd do with most of this stuff; you're hardly going to just eat an entire jar of capers. Eventually, though, you manage to find a package of gourmet artisanal organic corn taco shells.

Tacoshell.gifYou acquire 5 taco shells

or:

You also find a brass key hanging from a small hook on the wall, which you pilfer. The key, that is, not the hook. Or the wall.

Srkey1.gifYou acquire an item: hacienda key

or:

You carefully search the area, but don't manage to find a key to Lopez's hacienda. You do find a clue, however, which strikes you as oddly out of place considering how fastidiously tidy these bandits seem to be. Hmm.


Check the fridges

You open the two big refrigerators, discovering that the one on the left is actually a freezer, which contains most of a side of beef, along with some frozen chickens, smaller birds that you guess might be quail or Cornish game hens or something fancy like that, and some of those big plastic freezer bags filled with blocks of soup.

The inside of actual fridge, on the right, looks nothing like any fridge interior you've ever seen. It's filled with tubs of various soups and sauces, carefully labeled (and dated, no less!) and neatly organized. The ketchup bottle doesn't have that brown crusty ring around the top, because in fact it's a little plastic container of homemade tomato sauce. The crisper drawer is filled with vegetables, and they're actually crisp. Nothing has been spilled recently, and the little egg cups have actual eggs in them. There's nary a month-old half-package of bologna in sight. Weird!

Anyway, there's no key in here, and none of the leftovers tickle your fancy, or your appetite.

or:

You carefully search the area, but don't manage to find a key to Lopez's hacienda. You do find a clue, however, which strikes you as oddly out of place considering how fastidiously tidy these bandits seem to be. Hmm.

or:

Unsurprisingly, you don't find a key in here. You do find a container of leftover pasta labeled "Fettucini Inconnu", though. The label says it's only a couple days old, and it looks pretty good.

Bowl.gifYou acquire an item: fettucini Inconnu

or:

Shutting the fridge door, you turn around to find a bandit looking at you with two slices of bread in one hand, and a knife in the other. It takes you a (somewhat panicked) moment before you realize he probably wasn't intending to make a sandwich out of you. Still, it's an awkward situation.

Fight!
(Fight a sleepy mariachi or a surprised mariachi)

or:

Next to a jar of homemade boysenberry jam, you find a brass key. Looks like there is an absent-minded sandwich-maker living here after all.

Srkey1.gifYou acquire an item: hacienda key

Sneak out of the fort

?

Occurs in The Barracks as a choice of Hallway Left