Jefferson pilot

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Jefferson pilot
Monster ID 1530
Locations A Mob of Zeppelin Protesters
Hit Points 145
Attack 140
Defense 140
Initiative 25
Meat 100-150
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
one pill, Jefferson wings
Manuel plastic Jefferson wings
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Jefferson pilot You're fighting a Jefferson pilot

This woman is the slickest, most graceful jet pilot for Jefferson Airlines, LLC. The company's fortunes have been rising in recent years--they're even considering developing ships for intergalactic travel--but the Red Army's investment in zeppelins is dragging the airplane economy down.

If this pilot can't turn the tide, she's going to have trouble feeding the hungry mouths at home, to say nothing of feeding her own head.

Hit Message(s):

She tells you she's not about to punch you in the <skull>, but that truth is found to be lies. Ow! Eek!

She says, "don't slip away," and punches you before you can do just that. Eek! Ooh!

She feeds your head with a fist to the mouth. Ow! Ouch!

She moves on up to your east side, then kicks you in the <neck>. Ugh! Argh!

She punches you in the <head>. All the joy within you dies. Oof! Oof!

She pulls out a surrealistic pillow and smothers you with it. Ugh! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

She hops into a Jefferson Airlines plane and does a strafing run, riddling you with bullets (and dropping bulletins with riddles in them). Eek! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

Her mind is too full of red to hit you right now.

She says, "don't slip away," but you don't listen to her.

She tries to feed your head, but you remember what the dormouse said.

She tries to move on up to your east side, but you move aside and let the woman go through.

She tries to shove you in the <head>, but you don't need somebody to shove you.

She tries to smother you with a surrealistic pillow, but your bicycles are too insouciant for her to do so.

Fumble Message:

She stops attacking to work on a proposal for a city built entirely on rock and roll. You point out that rocks and rolls would need some kind of cement, at the bare minimum, to keep them together, but she's uninterested in your critique. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 100-150 Meat (average: 125, stdev: 10.61)*
Pill.gifYou acquire an item: one pill (25% chance)*
Jwings.gifYou acquire an item: Jefferson wings (5% chance)*
Jwings.gifYou acquire an item: plastic Jefferson wings (?% chance)*

Occurs at A Mob of Zeppelin Protesters.


  • This monster and its messages refer to the rock band Jefferson Airplane and Jefferson Starship, vocalist Grace Slick, and many of its songs including: White Rabbit, Don't Slip Away, and We Built This City (On Rock 'n' Roll).