Jailbait orquette

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Jailbait orquette
Monster ID 957
Locations Kegger in the Woods
Hit Points 80
Attack 40
Defense 45
Initiative 30
Meat 4-6
Phylum orc
Elements sleaze
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
plastic cup of beer
Quest orquette's phone number
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
jailbait orquette You're fighting a jailbait orquette

This is a sorority-orc-in-training, as well as in-a-training-bra. Her makeup-to-clothing ratio is entirely out of whack, and she's completely trashed.

This calls for an intervention.

Hit Message(s):

She slaps you across the face before she figures out you aren't the orcish delinquent that just grabbed her butt. Ouch!

She winks at you and shakes her hips. You die a little inside. Ugh! (sleaze damage)

She headbutts you, coating your forehead in a thick layer of makeup. Ugh! (sleaze damage)

She scratches you with her fake nails. The pain is real. Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

She calls over a few of her skanky friends to give you the slapping, hair-pulling, scratching beat-down of your life. Yipe. Eek!

Miss Message(s):

She starts to scratch you, but doesn't want to break a nail.

She tries to flirt with you, but you resist. Fairly easily, actually.

She tries to headbutt you, but all the makeup cushions the blow.

She starts to slap you, but you're not slap-happy enough to let her connect.

Fumble Message:

She stops to text all of her friends about how omg she's totes beating up some dude lol. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 4-6 Meat (average: 5, stdev: 0.71)*
Plasticcup.gifYou acquire an item: plastic cup of beer
You gain 10 <substat>.

Using a plastic cup of beer:

Plasticcup.gif
With a slight pang of guilt, you hand the beer to the orquette.

"Thanks," she says, with a shy smile. "My name's Patricia. You should call me sometime."

She writes her phone number on a scrap of paper and hands it to you.

Phonenumber.gifYou acquire an item: orquette's phone number

You wander off to a different part of the party.

Occurs at Kegger in the Woods.

References

  • The orquette's name is a reference to the Arquette sisters, specifically Patricia Arquette.