Infinite meat bug

Infinite meat bug
Monster ID	230
Locations	Cobb's Knob Treasury (ultra-rarely)
Hit Points	30
Attack	45
Defense	40
No-Hit	55
Initiative	always
Meat	8,000-12,000
Phylum	bug
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	unknown
Drops incredibly dense meat gem
refreshedit data

 You're fighting an infinite meat bug

This isn't, as you might think, a neverending bug made out of meat. It's a finite bug that generates an infinite amount of meat. And an infinite amount of whoop-ass, pointed in your direction.

Hit Message(s):

It bugs you in the <bung>. Man, that really, really bugs you. I mean, it annoys you how much it bugs you. Argh! Oof! Eek! Ow!

It catches you in its jaws and munches on your <solar plexus>. Argh! Ooh! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

It unhinges its jaw and spews a seemingly neverending fountain of meat at you, which hits you in the <face>. Then, adding insult to injury, it evaporates before you can grab it. Ow! Ouch! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to bug you in the <shoulder>, but you bug out before he can.

It tries to munch on your <leg>, but you step on it, even though it was your hero.

Fumble Message:

The bug tries to bite you, but collapses under the weight of its own meat. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You gain 8,000-12,000 Meat. (average: 10000, stdev: 816.9)*

You acquire an item: incredibly dense meat gem (100% chance)*

You gain 12 <substat>.

If you lose the fight:

You are knocked to the ground. As the monster walks off, it drops a white ribbon.

You acquire an item: consolation ribbon (100% chance)*

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Occurs at Cobb's Knob Treasury, ultra-rarely.

Notes

• On April Fool's Day, 2006, this adventure appeared regularly for all users but dropped nothing.

References

• The fumble text makes a reference to the They Might Be Giants song Spider, which contains the lines "Spider / Step on spider!" and "Spider / He is our hero!"
• The monster name and description refer to bugs exploited to obtain a near-infinite amount of meat.