Infernal seal larva

Infernal seal larva
Monster ID	652
Locations	A Large Chamber
Hit Points	18
Attack	21
Defense	18
Initiative	20
Meat	None
Phylum	demon
Elements	None
Resistance	?
Monster Parts	head, tail
Drops None
Quest	a creased paper strip, a crinkled paper strip, a crumpled paper strip, a folded paper strip, a rumpled paper strip, a ripped paper strip
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting an infernal seal larva

You might have expected the larval form of a seal to be basically a smaller seal, the same way a larval cat is basically a smaller cat. Nope. The larval form of a seal is more like a horrible, fanged slug. This one is trying to attach itself to your foot so it can suck out all of your blood. Not exactly the sort of thing you're going to put a cute caption on and post on the internet.

Hit Message(s):

You slip on one of the trails of slime it's been leaving and fall ass over teakettle. You bang your head on the teakettle -- where'd you get that thing?

Critical Hit Message:

It springs into the air and attaches itself to your lower back, and sucks out some of your blood. It's as disgusting as it is painful. Eek!

Miss Message(s):

It starts to slime its way up your leg, but you kick it off with a shudder of disgust.

It tries to fang your foot, but doesn't seem to be able to pierce your boots. You know, those boots you're wearing.

It tries to suck your blood, but you impersonate a rutabega.

It gnashes its fangs at you, but you gnash your fangs right back. You show that seal!

It tries to go all sluggy on you, but you freelance away.

It tries to bite you and suck your blood, but it sucks at biting.

Fumble Message:

It springs into the air to attack, but fortunately seal larva are fairly nearsighted, and it ends up trying to suck blood out of a stone. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: a creased paper strip (30% chance)*

You acquire an item: a crumpled paper strip (30% chance)*

You acquire an item: a crinkled paper strip (30% chance)*

You acquire an item: a folded paper strip (30 chance)*

You acquire an item: a ragged paper strip (30% chance)*

You acquire an item: a ripped paper strip (30% chance)*

You acquire an item: a rumpled paper strip (30% chance)*

You acquire an item: a torn paper strip (30% chance)*

You gain ? <substat>.

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Occurs in A Large Chamber, Seal Clubbers only.

References

• One miss message refers to the long-running webcomic Sluggy Freelance.
• The last part of the description references Lolcats, an Internet meme.
• Impersonating a rutabaga refers to the phrase "You can't squeeze blood from a turnip", a rutabaga being one of several vegetables referred to as turnips.