If You Smell Something Burning, It's My Heart

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If You Smell Something Burning, It's My Heart
If You Smell Something Burning, It's My Heart

You walk into the Haunted Kitchen and are blinded by the glare of television lights. A cameraman zooms in on your face as a disembodied voice announces, "Welcome to Hey Deze's Kitchen! Please welcome this week's guest judge, Some Random Adventurer!"

A smiling demon with a bronze tan and far too many square, white teeth grabs you and hustles you over to a table. "Just play along," he says out of the corner of his mouth, "and you'll make it out of here alive. And smile, dammit, this is television!"

He sits you down in front of a steaming plate of unidentifiable food. "Now, our guest judge will sample today's culinary creation, and tell us if it's good enough to serve to the Dark Lord himself!"

You sigh and resolve to get this over with as fast as you can. You lift a huge fork-full of the steaming sludge, blow on it a little, and cram it in your mouth.

"Remember," the host says, in hushed tones, "this week's secret ingredient is... Brimstone!"

You swallow hard, feeling a searing track burn its way down your throat into your stomach. You grab the glass of water next to your plate and down it in one swallow.

"And to wash it down," the host says, his smile broadening, "kerosene!"


Heartrock.gifYou acquire an effect: Burning Heart
(duration: 10 Adventures)

Occurs at The Haunted Kitchen (Bad Moon only).


  • The title of this adventure is a lyric from "The Masochism Tango" by Tom Lehrer. The lyrics are: "I know too well / I'm underneath your spell, / So, darling, if you smell / Something burning, it's my heart"
  • The adventure itself is a reference to the reality-television show Hell's Kitchen.