Hypocritical medicus

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Hypocritical medicus
Monster ID 1628
Locations The Roman Forum
Hit Points 75% of Defense
Attack Player's Moxie, min 10
Defense Player's Muscle, min 10
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
non-aged vinegar, unsanitized scalpel
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
hypocritical medicus You're fighting a hypocritical medicus

This medical practitioner took the wrong oath, and ended up wanting to first do as much harm as he could. So he uses leeches, and trepanning, and bleeding, and -- okay, so his treatments are the same as the other medics of the time, he just actually intends for them to be harmful.

Hit Message(s):

He slices you with a razor to let out your bad blood, and most of your good blood. Argh! Ow! Ugh!

He tries to balance your earth humors by hitting you over the head with a dirt clod. Argh! Ouch! Eek!

He tries to amputate your leg with a dull, rusty saw. He fails, but the attempt is pretty painful. Ooh! Ooh! Ugh!

He attaches a leech to your <skull>. Just for fun. Eek! Argh! Ow!

He says, "this should be effective in giving you a raging headache," and cuts a hole in your skull. Ugh! Eek! Argh!

He cauterizes your <ankle> with a red-hot brand. Oof! Ooh! Argh! (hot damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He loops a length of rubber tubing around your <giblets> a few times. "We need to balance your air humor and your fire humor," he says, and strangles you while he tries to light your feet on fire. (CRITICAL HIT!) Ooh! Ooh! Argh!

Miss Message(s):

He slices at you with a razor, but you dodge.

He tries to attach a leech to your <calf>, but you tell him not to leech off of you.

He tries to cut a hole in your skull, but fails.

He tries to amputate your <knee> with a dull, rusty saw, but it's too dull to hurt.

He throws a dirt clod at you to balance your earth humors, but misses.

He tries to cauterize your <arse> with a red-hot brand, but you point out you don't have a wound there.

Fumble Message:

He says that your humors are completely balanced, which you find humorous, but don't bother to say so. You're just grateful he's leaving you alone for a minute. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Wine.gifYou acquire an item: non-aged vinegar (20% chance)*
Dirtyscalpel.gifYou acquire an item: unsanitized scalpel (2% chance)*

Occurs at The Roman Forum.