Hung-over half-orc hobo

Hung-over half-orc hobo
Monster ID	281
Locations	The Sleazy Back Alley
Hit Points	1
Attack	1
Defense	0
No-Hit	11
Initiative	40
Meat	None
Phylum	hobo
Elements	stench
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops dirty hobo gloves, Mad Train wine, moxie weed
Bounty	hobo gristle
Pickpocket	Boozehounds Anonymous token
Accordion	beer-battered accordion
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a hung-over half-orc hobo

In the Sleazy Back Alley, you trip over a hungover half-orc hobo. He grabs his head in pain, staggers to his feet, and glares at you with two blood-shot eyes. Looks like it's time to get ill.

Actually, considering the ground behind him, it looks like he beat you there.

Hit Message(s):

He smacks you upside the <arm> with a bottle of Mad Train Wine. Now there's too much blood in your broken-glass-stream. Ow! (stench damage)

He pelts you with a handful of spare change. Oof! (stench damage)

You gain 3-4 Meat

Critical Hit Message:

He knocks you out with his bottle of Mad Train. When you wake up, you feel like you got a visit from the Bruise Fairy. He stands in front of you, grinning, then smacks you again. Ow! (stench damage)

Miss Message(s):

He starts to hit you with his bottle of Mad Train, but his headache causes his vision to blur, and he misses.

He moans and clutches his head instead of attacking you. You yell at him for a minute, just to add insult to lack of injury.

He tries to throw spare change at you, but you block it with a spare tire you find in the alley.

Fumble Message:

He raises his arms and an overpowering odor fills the alley. Before it can overpower you, though, a freak thunderstorm washes him clean. He looks down at his un-grimed body and screams. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: dirty hobo gloves (32% chance)*

You acquire an item: Mad Train wine (60% chance)*

You acquire an item: moxie weed (15% chance)*

• If you are on the appropriate bounty hunt:

You acquire an item: hobo gristle (100% chance)*

You gain 1 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Sleazy Back Alley.

Notes

• Using Pickpocket on this monster may yield a Boozehounds Anonymous token from about 10% of pickpocket attempts.
• Appears in place of drunken half-orc hobo after ascension, except in the choice noncombats.
• If you are an Accordion Thief and haven't stolen an accordion from this monster today, this text is added to the introduction:

  Your keen Accordion Thief eyes spy a battered accordion peeking out of the hobo's waistband. And also that his pants are really baggy!

• If you then cast Steal Accordion:

  You pluck the accordion from the hobo's filthy pants, leaving him none the wiser (and none the cleaner.)

  You acquire an item: beer-battered accordion

References

• "There's too much blood in your broken-glass-stream" is a reference to a one-liner about getting pulled over for drunk driving: "There's no blood in my alcohol system, officer!"
• "It's time to get ill" is the chorus of a Beastie Boys song.