How Many Corners Does this Stupid Barn Have!?
Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Here you are again, on your own, in a corner of this stupid barn, with another bunch of stupid ducks blocking your stupid progress.
A quick look around you reveals a giant metal drum labeled "Whackin' Grease," on whose origins and purpose you don't want to speculate. Hanging on the wall behind the barrel is a double-barreled shotgun. Hanging behind the shotgun is a joke involving three barrels. Actually, not really. There's nothing hanging behind the shotgun.
Anyway. What would you like to do?
| Grab the shotgun and start firing |
"This... is my boomstick!" you scream, as you aim for the horde of ducks and pull both triggers.
"That... didn't work at all." you say in the ensuing silence.
The ducks wait around to see if you're going to say anything funny, and you don't, so they decide to head over to the Shady Thicket and get drunk off of Farmer McMillicancuddy's moonshine.
(Opens The Shady Thicket for adventuring.)
| Dump out the drum |
You unscrew the lid on the Whackin' Grease barrel and tip it over. The horde of ducks is swept into the Other Back 40 in a deluge of medicinal-smelling goo.
Blech.
(Opens The Other Back 40 for adventuring.)
- When a chaos butterfly has been used in combat this ascension, and "Make a fence out of the barbed wire" and "Knock over the lantern" were chosen for Cornered! and Cornered Again!, respectively, you will see the following additional text:
The sky suddenly turns gray and a great wind rises. From the northwest, you see something approaching that looks like a white tornado. As it gets closer, though, you realize that it's not a white tornado -- it's a real tornado! You ain't in New York City, baby!
The funnel cloud touches down, picks up a bunch of the frozen ducks from the pond, and slings them eastward, beating them against the burning ducks in the back 40. The ice covering the frozen ducks melts as they continue to fly eastward, and this gentle rain combined with the gales of wind cleans the grease off of a bunch of the ducks in the other back 40.
As the formerly-frozen ducks continue their involuntary high-speed eastward migration, the formerly-flaming and formerly-greasy ducks confer for a moment, decide they've had enough of this crap, and mosey off into the sunset. Against the wind.
(Opens The Other Back 40 for adventuring and causes the number of duck kills necessary to clear The Pond, The Back 40, and The Other Back 40 to go down.)
Occurs at McMillicancuddy's Barn (one time only).
Notes
- You can only open one of the two areas.
- If you are following the shortcut to Defowl the Farm, the correct choice at this adventure is "Dump out the drum".
References
- "This... is my boomstick!" is a reference to the film Army of Darkness.
- "... it's not a white tornado -- it's a real tornado! You ain't in New York City, baby!" is a line from the Brownsville remix of the They Might Be Giants cover of The Four Lads song "Istanbul".
